The Working Mom Shuffle: Career, Kids, Mom Guilt, and Boundarie

In this episode of Steel Roses Podcast, I hit record from my car and get a real-time reminder of working mom life when my daughter calls mid-recording. That moment leads into an honest conversation about mom guilt, career pressure, work-life balance, and the daily shuffle of trying to be present at home while still showing up professionally.

I share what it looks like to travel from the Jersey Shore to New York for client meetings while keeping the family running, the pressure working moms feel to “choose,” and the guilt that comes with missing important moments. We also talk about practical ways to make it work, including boundaries, efficiency, family time, and returning to work after bedtime when needed.

For every working mom navigating motherhood, career, burnout, and the mental load, this episode is your reminder: it is possible, and you are not alone.

Transcript

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Welcome And A Car Recording

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi everyone, this is Still Roses Podcast. This podcast was created for women by women to elevate women's voices. I am laughing a little bit over here because I was trying to record. I'm recording in my car. I think I'm recording. Yes, the timer's going, but I'm laughing because I started recording before and my daughter called me. And so I had to take her

The Working Mom Travel Shuffle

SPEAKER_00 0:20

call. Now, I'm actually gonna skip what I was recording about originally, and I'm gonna go right to what is hot for the moment. So, working mom life stuff. I had to travel from my home at the Jersey Shore up to New York today. Um, well, Monday, Tuesday this week to uh to go to some meetings for my clients. I've done crazier drives than that for clients. It is what it is. Part of the reason why I always look the other way is one, obviously, I'm dedicated to my my work. I'm dedicated to my clients, so I really do want to show up for them when I can within within reason. And so part of the working mom shuffle here was my kids aren't used to me leaving, so I had to, you know, tackle that. I do have to travel quite a bit on Monday the this week, um, the earlier of the week. And, you know, that means I'm not gonna be there during the day and I'm not getting there till late at night, and I'm leaving really early in the morning both days, so I can make sure that this works. When I was leaving New York on Monday, I'm sitting there thinking to myself, you know, working mom life is difficult, it's hard, but to me, it's also one of the most rewarding things. And I've talked before about the challenges of it, but the uh the highs are so high. And so the part that I really want to talk here about is like, well, how am I making this work?

When People Say You Must Choose

SPEAKER_00 1:34

You know, like because I've been told before, no, you have to choose. There's no way you can do both. You have to make a choice. You can either be a dedicated mother or you're gonna be a working mom. I've had to make some difficult decisions, and you guys know that. There have been times where I have had to prioritize work and I've missed things for my kids. And I've talked to you guys about that before, where there was an instance where I forgot something. I was so, you know, underwater with things at work, I forgot an event for my child. I it broke my heart. You know, then there was a within almost the same week, I missed something for one of my other kids. But again, it was because I had misunderstood something, the importance of something, and I was working. It wasn't so much because I self-selected not to be there. It was more so I didn't think it was important and I didn't realize it was important to my kid. And then eventually I found out the day of it was important and I couldn't do anything at that point. That's just the shuffle. You know, that's just like the figuring out the schedule. And that was also on me to make sure that I understand what's a priority to my kids. But the overall bigger picture, time and again, I'm gonna say being a working mom is incredibly gratifying and it's rewarding. My kids get to see me in a whole different light outside of the house, especially when I have to travel. So I do not travel overnight anymore. I do not get on airplanes. I'm very grateful to my team and to my boss that I have such a supportive group that is willing to travel because I don't really want to at this point because of my family. Now, the part that's difficult but doable is that, and this is the when I was leaving New York, this is what kind of came to mind being a working mom is hard. But the biggest difference between myself and maybe somebody who's not working this kind of a job or somebody who's not a working mom is that my day is a lot longer that in some in some instances than the normal day would be. So, like, for example, if you're a stay-at-home mom and you're on the clock, let's say like 6 a.m. to about 8 p.m. when your kids go to bed, and then you can like kind of tone it down a little bit and start doing things around the house, what what have you. Working moms are 24 hours a day. I'll hand you that. That's that's a no-brainer, one of the most difficult things. It's a 24-hour day job. With being a working mom and trying to also be a very present, not stay-at-home mom, but a present mother that's hands-on all the time and as involved as she can be.

The Trick Is Making Days Longer

SPEAKER_00 3:55

The big difference, key takeaway, is that like sometimes I have to do things like I'm doing this week, where I have to set aside time to be able to go and travel to these meetings and not be able to be physically present. But it also just means like, well, to squeeze it in, I have to make my day longer. That's all it is. I just have to make my day longer. To be able to squeeze in being a professional and a mom at the same time, I have to make my day longer. I have a colleague, same situation. She has a small, small child. You know what she does? She clocks out at five o'clock on the dot every day because from five o'clock to 8:30, that's her family time. She makes sure that she is a hundred percent present for her child until the baby goes to bed. Then once her child her toddler's in bed, then she picks work back up again. This is

Why Working Moms Get Efficient

SPEAKER_00 4:40

the part to highlight. The key factor here is that you will make it squeeze into the schedule that you need it to squeeze into in order to be successful. That's the dedication of a working mom. That's the part that I think gets missed with the efficiency of a working mom. We also know we only have a very short period of time to get things done. So our efficiency level is gonna be quite high. You're not gonna see us BS a lot. You are gonna see us dive right in to make sure that we're hitting the mark and getting things done that need to get done. You might get more out of me one or two hours from 5 a.m. to 7 a.m. when I know I can't come in for the day because my kids are sick or whatever it is, because I'm like hyper focused in those two hours. That could take those two hours is something, enough work that somebody might do in eight hours of their day. So it's really this push pull of what can I squeeze in to make sure that I'm still meeting my deliverables here, but also still being a mom because that's important.

Sleep Deprivation And Survival Mode

SPEAKER_00 5:38

Um, I'm not sugarcoating it. I'm not saying that I, you know, there was a period of time where I was crying every week. Yes, there was when the kids were very young, from like toddler to well, not even that, really just infant to about five or six, it was actually really hard. Those first five years almost took me out because of the lack of sleep. I want to say about 90% of it was because of the lack of sleep. Because in between the fact that, like, yes, I was trying to do it all and pick up my kids and be present for my kids and take care of dinner and make sure the apartment was clean and do all the things and then hop back online at night at 10 o'clock at night and work until 2 o'clock in the morning. But then I would go try to go to sleep at 2 o'clock in the morning, and then one of the babies would wake up and I'd have take care of them. So I wouldn't really get to bed until like 3:30 in the morning because it was like a click, click, click, everybody woke up. All to say, I made it through and I survived it. When I was in the thick of it, I distinctly remember saying to myself, just keep your head down, get through it. You're gonna get through this. Just keep your head down, keep going forward. That was literally the only thing that kept me like alive and surviving. I survived it because I kept my head down. I just kept doing the task at hand right in front of me, and I just kept chipping away at it. And five years later, I know that sounds like a nightmare, but five years later, I was able to take a breath. I was able to lift my head up. I was able to make some changes that fit better for my routine. Wash, rinse, repeat. You just make it fit for your current life. I have a

How It Changes As Kids Grow

SPEAKER_00 7:01

lot more flexibility now that my my kids are nine and ten years old. It's a hell of a lot easier now than it was before. And it does leave me open to be able to tackle more things that are you know more prominent than I was able to do before. And it does put me in a better position leadership-wise. So if you can make it through those first five years of your kids' lives, it does get easier in some ways. Now, there's some ways where challenges arise because now your kids are older, they understand the difference when mommy's paying attention to me to when mommy's working. But irregardless, if you handle things in the right way and you're communicating to your child and talking to your child and and you have the support of some uh, you know, your partner, sometimes the support of your partner's not there, but you can still make it work. It's all possible, it just depends on how you approach it. I'm here to tell you you will get through it if you're going through it right now. I went I was so difficult. I'm not even really sure how I made it, but I did. And if I did it, I know you're you're gonna be able to do it too. So if you're going through it, or if you know someone who's in the thick of it right now, they will be able to get through it. It's gonna happen. They just gotta find a way to make it work for their current role and what they have. So,

Hiatus Update And Quick Farewell

SPEAKER_00 8:09

very quick, very, very, very quick off-topic episode because again, my daughter tried to call me while I was trying to record, and I didn't want to reject her call because I have been in New York and I didn't want her to feel like I was ignoring her. I know I've been on a bit of hate of a hiatus. My original topic that I was gonna release first was going to be talking about the freeze about the hiatus. It actually kind of just happened, and it started off with like, oh, I'm not able to get to recording this week, I'll do it next week. And I, and then like it was just a busy pile ball of wax that just kind of kept going. We ended up at the end of June, and I was like, oh my god, I've got no episodes out. I need to, you know, get back to recording. Now there's more to it that I'll elaborate more in the next episode, but I'm so happy to be back with you guys. I'm so grateful for all of you still with me. And I hope you all are having a great, you know, June and happy July. Um, so until the next one, I greatly appreciate you all, and uh I'll see you on the next one. Take care.