Join Steel Roses this week as we unravel why starting messy isn't just okay—it's essential. Our latest podcast episode is a candid conversation about the beauty of imperfection and the transformative power of action. Through personal anecdotes, we share the quirky and challenging beginnings of our own podcast venture, technology hiccups included. We promise to take you on a journey that celebrates mistakes as milestones, and failure as the cornerstone of growth.
This discussion also navigates the rough seas of being an entrepreneur and the personal crises that often accompany the pursuit of meaningful work. We delve into the depths of midlife turbulence and the search for authenticity, with a nod to Cathy Heller's guided meditation, showing how a minor shift in mindset can significantly alter life's trajectory. We discuss the importance of staying true to your inner calling, despite the resistance it might provoke. Tune in to find inspiration for embracing change, finding joy in authenticity, and the courage to live life aligned with who you truly are.
Join Steel Roses this week as we unravel why starting messy isn't just okay—it's essential. Our latest podcast episode is a candid conversation about the beauty of imperfection and the transformative power of action. Through personal anecdotes, we share the quirky and challenging beginnings of our own podcast venture, technology hiccups included. We promise to take you on a journey that celebrates mistakes as milestones, and failure as the cornerstone of growth.
This discussion also navigates the rough seas of being an entrepreneur and the personal crises that often accompany the pursuit of meaningful work. We delve into the depths of midlife turbulence and the search for authenticity, with a nod to Cathy Heller's guided meditation, showing how a minor shift in mindset can significantly alter life's trajectory. We discuss the importance of staying true to your inner calling, despite the resistance it might provoke. Tune in to find inspiration for embracing change, finding joy in authenticity, and the courage to live life aligned with who you truly are.
Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of Steele Rose's podcast. This podcast was created for women, by women. You have Jenny with you this morning. I hope everyone had a really wonderful week. I am very excited to be here with you today because I want to share with you something that I'm pretty excited about.
Jenny Benitez:
If you are connected to me on LinkedIn, you will know how adamantly I support the idea of starting messy. Now, for those of you who might not know where that concept is coming from, I had learned last year I was going through sort of a self-discovery phase, which apparently is normal for the age that I was at, which was 39, but I'll get into that in a minute. I was going through this whole thing of self-discovery and when I was looking into doing the podcast and I was just taking all these courses and these things, the concept was presented to me that if you're constantly spinning, looking for perfection which is what women typically do you could spend months, years, decades spinning your wheels trying to hit something on the nose when in reality, you could have hit stop at some point and press go and just taken it from there. I most recently had discussed this on LinkedIn and the reaction was pretty much tremendous about just rip the band-aid off and get started. When I started the podcast with my cousin Melissa, we really had an idea and with my production background, we had an idea of what was to come and what needed to be done. I know my cousin the biggest hurdle for her was the technology component of it. She was like I don't know how to do any of that stuff. I was like I got that part, we're good there.
Jenny Benitez:
It was scary in the beginning because you really don't know what you're doing and until you hit go and you just rip that band-aid off, you really won't know. You really need that experience under your belt to know. And that isn't just for podcasting, that really applies to pretty much everything. The biggest hurdle that we as human beings and this is men and women is we start to question ourselves and we start to get fearful and then we pull back and we don't move forward and we want to think about it a little bit more and we need a little bit more time to tweak things and we want to go in another round of revisions circles. What have you? We're doing these things when in reality the first pass would have been passable and then your second pass at something is going to be even better, because if you don't put things out into market, you're really not going to know would this have worked Maybe 15 versions ago? Whatever it is that you're trying to create, or whatever you're trying to do with yourself, would have been great and would have went out there.
Jenny Benitez:
It's something that I think people just get very hung up on, personally, when I start to get those feelings of fear, where and I'm calling it fear, because that really is what it is you're afraid to pull the trigger to do something, because, quite naturally, we doubt ourselves and are worried that people are going to hate what we're saying, or they hate the content, or it's going to fall flat. It very well could fall flat the organization you're trying to start your startup. Maybe you're trying to create a cleaning service, maybe you're doing a babysitting service there's so many things you could do with yourselves and maybe this financial organization that you're trying to start up. Maybe it will fall flat, but in that failure you are going to learn so much. It really isn't actually a failure. I think we have to stop, as a culture and as a society, looking at failure as a bad thing, because that's really where you're learning the most.
Jenny Benitez:
That's one thing that I have said time and again in my professional career when I would go on interviews and I would make it a point to say to people and I'd say this to managers after I was hired too I am not perfect, I am going to make mistakes here. It normally takes me about a year to get adjusted to a new job. I'm like, yeah, you're going to make mistakes, that is going to happen. But just know and this is what I would say just know that from that one mistake I will learn and it will never happen again. I will make sure of it. That one time that that one mistake happened and I needed to learn that lesson and it might have been really difficult to learn from that one mistake, guess what? I'm not going to make that mistake anymore. I know better now, and I think we need to start really leaning into quote unquote mistakes as no, this was a learning opportunity for you.
Jenny Benitez:
No experience is a lost experience. I don't want to say bad, because there are bad experiences, but it doesn't mean that it's a lost experience. So, whether it's professional or personal, if it wasn't a good experience and you feel like it was a bad experience. What are you getting out of that? What are you learning from it? Because we're constantly learning something and you're going to learn something from the good and the bad and from the bad experiences and from the mistakes and from the failures and from all of the stuff that doesn't feel so great. You will rise above that and you will take that next step up and say you know what? I've been there, I went through that path and I know not to go that way again or I know how to do it better this time. So it's just. It truly is important to say that, and I don't think that it gets enough attention out there.
Jenny Benitez:
One of the reasons why I'm highlighting this for you today is because I am in the development phases of a podcast startup guide. I'm very excited about it. I've been actually thinking about this for a while, because that's the fear, right. I've been thinking of this idea for a really long time and I really wanted to bring my experience to other people because, across the guests that I've been interviewing, the feedback that I've been hearing is people really do want to get into podcasting, but they're not exactly sure how and in a lot of instances, even with my background in production and client services and project management. Like I have this great background, I even found it a little confusing to navigate in the beginning because there really isn't a guided step-by-step. This is the thoughts behind this step, and now you can move on from here. And these are the thoughts behind this step and now you can move on from here.
Jenny Benitez:
And what I also found when I was doing research on how to create the podcast, how to get it started, where to go for things, websites reporting to each other, and then they're obviously selling their own services and it gets very cumbersome to try to navigate all that. So what I've been in the development phases of, and my co-founder, melissa, and co-host, melissa, is helping to support, is this guide that is going to really just lay it all out there, all of the things that I've learned in the first year, all of my background in project management. This is all going to be coming to market within the next few weeks. I'm super excited about that because I think people really need to see it from this perspective and it will make it a little bit easier for the folks who are really interested in doing this Like this is it? This is your guide right here. This is really going to help you get to the next level, because what I've done in this guide is literally like brain-dumped all my thoughts and everything that I know about the industry and I've put it all into this document so that someone can take it and say, like I know how to do this. I feel comfortable now. That's really the goal there.
Jenny Benitez:
I went down several rabbit holes when I started of research and trying to figure things out, and that's what gets so cumbersome and that's where people in the beginning, when they decide that they want to podcast, will stop and be like this is too much, it's taking too long. Not a lot of people want to go through all that and the discourages them. There's so many people that probably have these wonderful concepts that they really could put out and really could be successful with, but they hit these barriers that feel overwhelming and I would really love to be able to take some of those barriers down because podcasting is really the wave of the future. It's a big deal. So, on that note, like that's just something that will be forthcoming and I wanted to share that and I also wanted to share the whole start messy because, let me tell you. This podcast was messy the first few months. I mean to be fair, and I mean the episodes themselves, like I mean, you can go back and listen to them. They sound great. They sound wonderful. I've gotten wonderful feedback, but the process to getting them online was messy from our side, from the production side, because it was not as organized as it could have been, and this is really where I want to help everybody else out. So that's going to be forthcoming.
Jenny Benitez:
Another thing that I wanted to just touch on is fear of not fear, I want to say maybe it's more of a feeling where you're looking for happiness or feeling unsettled in your life. Now, in my age range, I think I'm about at the age for midlife crisis, I think, or at least 40, I think, is the man's midlife crisis. I'm not really sure when it was supposed to happen for women, maybe it was 30 for me, but around the 40 year range, that's like the big joke, right? Is that like, oh, you get the midlife crisis and you start, you know, making crazy purchases and doing all this ridiculous stuff, and the reality of the situation is, is that people make jokes about it and then they say, oh, it's hormonal, you go on medication. You try to just like stuff all that back down. But the reality of that is is that that kind of a situation where you start to go off the deep end and try to fill in any gaps that you're feeling with purchases, or if you're trying to fill in a hole that you're feeling inside with seeking out new relationships outside of, let's say, your marriage or your partner or whatever, or maybe you're spending exorbitant amounts of money on traveling and things like that that you really shouldn't be spending at this point in time.
Jenny Benitez:
All these things, all these massive shifts in behavior in this age range, could be quantified and followed back to inadequacy that you feel in yourself and you are taking that inadequacy and, instead of facing it and addressing it and recognizing it and paying homage to it, you are trying to stuff it back down and you're stuffing it with things. Instead of taking the time to acknowledge it and taking the time to pay respect to it, you are trying to cover it back up. If you get to a point in your life where you are questioning like, what am I doing? And I feel this void, that is the time that your soul is speaking to you and telling you you're not really living yourself authentically, you're not showing up authentically. There's a gap. There's a gap in how you're presenting yourself to the world and there's a gap in how you actually are feeling. Within this gap, you are feeling inadequate and trying to stuff it with as much stuff as possible. You're trying to close the gap and therein lies the problem. Now, as someone who's gone, I've gone through these things personally. I've watched people go through them personally and it is a massive struggle. Now a lot majority of people will stuff it with stuff and stuff the gap with stuff, and they will continue on the same path that they were on the scarier path. But the better path would be to address the gap and to really try to take time to wrap your head around. Why do you feel a particular way? Why are you feeling like something is not serving you?
Jenny Benitez:
Back in let's see, it's 2024, back in 2022, I had begun to feel this gap and I had started to bottom out a little bit and I was feeling very, a little bit lost and unsettled because this life and this professional life that I had been working and pounding the pavement for and really trying to cultivate, all of a sudden it felt like this bubble image had burst and this image of a professional working mom who had it all together and was making the big bucks and has the house and has the kids, all these little quote unquote checkboxes. I was like I got all this, I'm good, I'm good. And I remember when it felt like the rug was pulled out from under me and all of a sudden I had the realization that I was living a life that I, on paper, thought I was supposed to be living, and on paper, this is how I thought I was supposed to be showing up, and it was incredibly unsettling because I spent my whole life working towards something and then getting it and sitting there with it. I was expecting this elation and this feeling of fulfillment and this feeling that all right, I've got this, I made it to where I want it to be, like sky's the limit from here, and it is always sky's the limit for me. Like that's just like a thing. But I had hit this point where I was like this isn't right, like something's not quite right. Now, because I have dabbled in, like meditation and affirmations and visualization, like because I had already started down that path, it was fairly easy for me to get into alignment with things that would help support me finding out how to really be authentically me Like.
Jenny Benitez:
That sounds ridiculous, right, and it's a kind of embarrassing because I was like 38 at the time and I didn't know who I was like. Are you friggin' kidding me? But the reality is there's a lot of people walking around today that are in their 40s, that were brought up being told you have to go to college, you have to have a career, you have to work a nine to five, you have to do these things, you have to do this, you have to do that, you need to do this in order to be successful. You don't have to do anything. You have to do what feels right for your soul. So therein lies the problem is that there's all these people walking around that are basically just plugging away at something they think they need to do and they're not really serving their soul, they're not serving themselves and in doing that, this gap on how you're showing up in the world and how you actually feel like you are gets wider and wider and wider, and the difference gets greater and greater. And then you hit the crisis where your soul is trying to burst out of you to say I don't want to live like this anymore, and you have a choice here. You can address it and look at it and face it and make it so that you are acknowledging and honoring yourself, or you stuff it with things and you ignore it and you continue on the life that you're living.
Jenny Benitez:
There's a meditation that basically takes you down two paths. I'll mention it. It's a guided meditation through Kathy Heller. She's my favorite. I work with her meditations and there's a few other ones that I follow on YouTube as well. I mean, you could find meditation music anywhere, but I like to follow Kathy Heller.
Jenny Benitez:
And there's this practice that she has you do, where you basically think of your current circumstances and what you currently do in a day in, day out, and you think about that and then you think about all right, well, from here on out, five years from now, what am I going to be doing If I don't change anything? I'm doing right now, today. What am I going to be doing in five years? How is that going to look? How am I going to look in five years? How is my family going to look? How are my friends going to look? How is my finances going to look in five years If I do not change anything right in this moment, how is it going to look? How am I going to be showing up? You go through that practice and then you take a step back and you think to yourself well, now let's go down this other path.
Jenny Benitez:
If I start to make shifts right now, if I start to make changes right now, if I start to do the miracle morning routine by Hal Elrod, if I start to try something outside of my current comfort zone, how could this potentially impact me? How can this impact my life? How can this make things greater? What kind of opportunities is this going to bring me? If I take this pivot right now and it doesn't have to be a grand pivot, it doesn't have to be something that is this grandiose thing that everybody sees it could be something internal, and that's what I'm saying. It does not need to be anyone else's business, but your own. It can be internal. If you make this shift, this mindset shift, how different would your life be? How different are things going to be for me in a year, in six months, in a month? There's so much that changes as soon as you change your perspective. There's so much that changes as soon as you start to acknowledge that shift.
Jenny Benitez:
If you have that feeling, if you're listening to my voice, firstly, then this podcast found you for a reason, because you might be feeling this right now. And if you have that feeling, I encourage you to take some time. If you feel weird about journaling and meditating and all that stuff in front of people, I mean I hear you because I used to be quiet about it and I would do it at 5 am when nobody was awake. I would do it in the bathroom before I took a shower. I'd have the shower running. I would take like three minutes. Literally, you just need like three minutes.
Jenny Benitez:
It doesn't have to be this long drawn out thing. There's just things you can do to get yourself in alignment with who you actually are supposed to be, because the alternative is to be living your life the way you quote unquote should be, and the shoulds do not need to be there, because you're basically not starring in your own life. You're living your life the way other people think you need to live it. And how is that fair to you? Who is anyone to tell you how you're supposed to be showing up? You are the only person who knows how you feel inside. Does it fulfill you to just have a hot dog cart that you push up and down the Jersey Shore Boardwalk? Maybe that fulfills you and if it's not a huge financial detriment to you and it's something you can make work, do it. Do you know what?
Jenny Benitez:
I think about quite a bit and it will probably happen at some point because I think about it so much that I almost am inclined to tell you that I feel like I'm going to have to do it at some point because it gets me so excited. I want to open a little shop where I can sell empanadas. That sounds so silly and as I'm putting it out there in the universe, I'm like chuckling to myself. But my husband and I talk about it all the time. There's a little shop that's biased, that's for a rent, and every time we pass it we talk about what the menu would be and we talk about what kind of food we would serve and what the hours would be for us. We talk about this stuff all the time. I'm going to be honest with you. I feel like at some point I'm probably going to do it, because I can't help but get excited when I think about it. If I do it. I'm going to let you all know, because I will be thrilled to pieces. To be cooking full time Like that would be amazing for me.
Jenny Benitez:
My point here is that you really do have to take a minute and think these things through. It's just incredibly important. Now, I've talked in other episodes about when you do take that step and when you do start to shift your perspective. People around you will pick up on that, and you will, for sure, 100% get pushed back. I could probably talk about that for hours, but I think that's the way you will get pushed back, because there's people in your life that are used to you showing up in the way that they want you to show up, and that's normally the time where you will give up on making a change for yourself, because you will be like well, my mom, my dad, my siblings, my best friends. Even your husband may push back and say hey, you're being kind of strange. You really have to do what's right for you, though, and in terms of like marriage and showing up in your marriage, you will be 10 times greater.
Jenny Benitez:
When I was starting the podcast, a huge conversation that my husband and I had was you know, is this going to take time away from me and the family, is this going to take up time and where I'm going to be pulled away from my children and my husband and I'm not going to be able to show up for them. The way that I want to show up for them and I told them I was like the point of the podcast is so that I can show up for you, because this thing is lighting me up so much and getting me so excited that it's actually making me a better human. Because I get so excited about this. I love connecting with people on here, having the guests come on and record with me, bringing their guest voices to all of you who are listening. That is really what I'm trying to do here. I want to make that connection. I want this podcast to be a source of truth for someone. I want one person per episode to walk away and say that made a difference for me today. That's why I'm here. It's an incredible experience and being able to do this has changed my life. I cannot express enough. The course that this has taken me down is totally different than if I had chose to stay on the path that I was on before. So I just need all of you to hear this and to know that if you are having these feelings and if you're experiencing something similar to what I described, I mean, you can always shoot me a note. I will respond on LinkedIn like pretty quickly. I'm on there all the time. That's my platform. Shoot me an email steelrosespodcastedgmailcom. I would love to hear from you. That's what this is meant to be for.
Jenny Benitez:
This podcast is meant to help people and if you're feeling like this top subject matter is resonating with you, I can send you some resources. I'm reading this excellent book by Dr Joe Disbenza. I can't remember the name of it, but it's basically. I'll link it when I link the episode, but it's basically I think it's called like losing your mind to find yourself, or something of that effect. But the book itself is incredible because it breaks down everything that to go through to basically rewire your brain, and you can do it yourself. This is not like we're talking medication here. People Like you literally could just rewire your brain yourself. It's very easy actually, but people think it's so complex they give up on it fairly quickly. It feels weird because it's new. There's a lot to it. So I'll link the book below and it's that way. You guys can grab it from Amazon if you want to.
Jenny Benitez:
I hope that this episode reached the people that it was meant to reach. It's incredibly important to, on a regular basis, take stock with yourself and ask yourself like, am I good here? Am I feeling happy here? Your feelings are your barometer that is going to help you figure out what you're doing next. So I appreciate all of you listening today. So, forthcoming, you're gonna see the podcast startup guide come out. That's gonna be awesome. That'll be released on LinkedIn and, I think, instagram, so that'll get released and we'll do some information around that. And then we have some more guest episodes coming really exciting stuff. And then you know just I would love to hear from you guys. So if you ever have topic requests or if you wanna be a guest yourself, you can always reach out to me. Steelrosespodcastcom the website is there wwwSteelRosesWomencom there's just some information on there On the website very exciting. We do have a resources page that is going to be released come April and it's going to feature some of our former guests, some of the services that they provide and some new guests actually that are in the works as well. So it's really really cool stuff that's coming out.
Jenny Benitez:
Guys, I really greatly appreciate all of you. I appreciate your support and your listening. Drop a review in whatever platform you're listening to this episode on. Every review helps to generate not to get too into the data in the background, but every time the podcast is reviewed it actually helps to bring it to more people's feeds. So greatly appreciate any reviews you could leave. It would be really wonderful. Appreciate all of that and we'll see you next week. Thank you so much for listening. Take care.