Real Talk Navigating Summer’s Chaos: Working Moms and Balancing Acts

Ever feel like the summer months turn your home into a battlefield of bored kids, unending demands, and the constant juggle between work and parenting? This episode of the Steel Roses podcast gets real about the daily grind of being a working mom during summer. From the anxiety of keeping kids entertained to the frustration of multitasking and feeling unproductive, we discuss the universal struggle of kids seeking out their moms for everything, even when dads are around. It’s a candid conversation about recognizing our efforts, giving ourselves grace, and finding ways to reward ourselves for the hard work we do.

Balancing professional responsibilities with parenting duties feels like walking a tightrope, especially with the overstimulation from kids’ arguments and constant requests. Sharing my personal experiences, I open up about managing household chores, meal preps, and the emotional strain of providing quality time for my children amidst a hectic work schedule. The guilt and pressure of trying to be a dedicated professional and a present parent can be overwhelming, but through dedicated "mom fun days" and being there for their special moments, I strive to prioritize family. This chapter truly captures the essence of navigating the intricate dance between work and motherhood.

Finally, we dive into the raw realities of motherhood, emphasizing the importance of self-care and authenticity. I recount a particularly challenging day filled with feelings of underappreciation and being overwhelmed by my children's demands and my son's behavior issues. Balancing multiple roles often feels like an impossible task, and the relentless noise and chaos can be mentally exhausting. Taking brief escapes to recharge and recognizing that polished social media images are far from reality are crucial. Connect with me on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn for more support and personal interaction—let’s continue this journey together, knowing it’s okay to have tough days.

Takeaways

• Being a working mother during the summer can be challenging, with kids getting bored and constantly seeking attention.
• Balancing work responsibilities and parenting can be overwhelming, especially with the added noise and overstimulation.
• It's important to take time for yourself and find ways to recharge, even if it's just a few minutes alone.
• Remember that no one's life is perfect, and it's okay to ask for support and commiserate with others who are going through similar struggles.

Chapters

• 0:03 Summer Struggles of Working Mothers
• 5:29 Balancing Work and Motherhood
• 9:11 Navigating Parenthood's Overwhelming Realities
• 18:00 Connecting Through Social Media

Transcript

Jenny Benitez: 0:03

Hi everybody, welcome to Still Roses podcast. This podcast was created for women, by women, to elevate women's voices. All right, so I've been doing a lot of for the summer. I wanted to do, you know, for the summer series. I was trying to keep it a little bit light, but like having a thought starters in there, but also keeping it real. It a little bit light, but like having a thought starters in there, but also keeping it real. And this is one of those episodes where I really wanted to actually get kind of real and raw with everybody, because I have deviated a little bit from that. And that is actually the true essence of this whole podcast is showing you guys like the realities of being a working mother and kind of letting you all know you're in it not by yourself, we're kind of all in it together in a sentence. So I don't want anyone to feel alone with their struggles and thus I'm going to share something. So it's end of July, early August.

Jenny Benitez: 0:59

Now, based on prior history, at this point in the summer is when my kids have started to get really antsy and they are no longer entertained with anything we have at home, including a pool, which drives my husband insane because when he was growing up. He grew up in an apartment building and he did not have the luxury of a pool in a backyard in a house Everything we have he didn't have access to. So the sheer fact alone that our children are like eh, we're bored, we don't have anything to do like totally blows him away. That's his side of perspective. It blows me away as well, because I also I mean, I had a house and a pool, but I work really hard to give my kids everything that I had wanted when I was a kid, and so when we get to this point in the summer, they're getting tired of each other and tired of being at home and missing their friends and things start to really bubble up. Case in point just now, I essentially had to run from my house because I was at a point where I was literally going to start just screaming at everybody and losing my mind. Now, the reason for this is because, well, one, their camp is ending, and I already know their camp is ending and it's giving me some anxiety because I'm going to have four straight weeks of them being home while I try to work, which in itself is.

Jenny Benitez: 2:31

I'm pausing because I don't know how to say this without cursing, but it is the biggest cluster F I've ever tried to navigate in my life and the sheer fact that I get anything done is, I'm going to be honest, impressive. So I'm going to applaud myself and every other person not just women, not, you know like every other person that is home and working from home and also trying to navigate, being a parent during the summertime, like, let's give ourselves a pat on the back, let's give ourselves a round of applause, let's buy ourselves a drink. If you drink, let's do something for yourself, give yourself some kind of prize because, for God's sakes, we deserve it, we need it, we are working our asses off. So that is point number one. Point number two is that, um I, throughout the day, you know when you're trying to start a task and you, if you're, you know multitasking you don't really get anything done. So you'll like kind of halfway start something and then you'll have to backtrack, because then you get distracted with something else and then you get pulled to something else and the whole thing becomes counterproductive. You don't get anything done.

Jenny Benitez: 3:41

And that is what I was experiencing at the end of last week and I ended the week already being kind of pissed off. I wasn't kind of pissed off. I'm sorry. I'm working on my declarative statements. I ended the week pissed off because professionally and podcast, I didn't get nearly as much work done as I had wanted to. I was slacking last week and I hit on the prior episode I talk about this that I had to pivot and I even said it in an was slacking last week and I hit on the prior episode I talk about this that I had to pivot and I even said it in an episode the week last week or something where I had to pivot. I could only do one episode because I just didn't have time for it. And all of that frustration while I had, I was trying to give myself grace and forgive myself for the fact that I couldn't get everything done. I was still pissed off about it.

Jenny Benitez: 4:22

I'm still mad about it and it irritates me down to the roots of my being that, even when it's not just me home by myself, my kids still come and seek me out. I could be outside shoveling dog poo which I don't have a dog and I don't have to do this, but I could be. I could literally be outside shoveling dog poo and they will come and find me. They will bypass their father, come look for me and ask me for a snack while their father's sitting inside. Now I've complained about this to loads of people because it is like the bane of my existence, and this is one of the things that I will always complain about, and I always hear it from other women Like me too, like my kids always seek me out. They always bypass their father and I'm like I know it's all of us, you know and I know we're all going through it and it really sucks. So if you're going through that too, I see you. It really sucks. I'm frigging it with you. If you ever figure out how to make that magic happen, where they actually go to their father for something, let me know. I'd really like to hear about this and how you strategize that, because I talk to them all the time and say I can't do that for you.

Jenny Benitez: 5:29

Now, today's frustration level. I'm juggling my work responsibilities. I have meetings that I have to deal with. I have clients that I have to deal with. I love my clients. They're amazing. I love the work that I do. It's wonderful. What I don't love is when I have to navigate what I do for a living, while also peppering in requests for my children. Hearing my kids argue trying to break up fights between my kids, oh, I'm bored. What am I going to do? Oh well, this is my thing, this is not your thing. This is my thing is slime. I don't want to play with you. I'm going to play with him. No, no, we're going to play together. No, we're not going to play together. We're going to single one of you, one of the kids, out.

Jenny Benitez: 6:05

Like it's just this constant tirade of voices and noise. And the overstimulation is so freaking real that by the time my husband comes home from work and says what's for dinner, I am ready to lose my freaking mind because at that point in the day I have been peppered with so many freaking requests. I'm trying so hard not to curse in case any of you have little ones listening with you, but let me tell you I'm hanging on by a thread, so if a few get past me, I'm really sorry, but I get so freaking mad and angry Cause I'm like I'm doing so much, like I'm trying so hard to feed everybody and just keep everybody, you know, in check. And the house was a disaster today. I didn't get to do the dishes last night. So then this morning I didn't get to do the dishes for breakfast and at breakfast I didn't have the right salt to salt everybody's food, so nobody wanted to eat the food this morning. And then, um. So then from there I knew that everyone was going to be starving when they came home for lunch. But the twist is they're all coming home from lunch 30 minutes before I had to do something else really important.

Jenny Benitez: 7:18

It was time sensitive, I couldn't get out of it and they needed them to be quiet, so that all of those little points of pressure. And then I'm like oh, I'm, am I doing good enough here? My kids are complaining to me. My daughter is complaining like mommy, can you help me with this? I'm like I'm sorry, I have to work. I can't help you right now. Oh, you always say that you never have time for me. Boom, there's the first. Like hat, like mic drop, like that's not true. How could you say that? It's obviously not true. I'm sorry for the long pause. It's obviously not true for any of us who are trying to navigate this.

Jenny Benitez: 7:54

You know you do the best you can for your kids and I try really hard to make sure that, regardless of what I have going on, I make time for them and I take off for I take off work to make sure that I can be there for their special events, and I don't want them to ever turn around and look at their childhood and say you weren't there, you were working all the time and I've you all have known, you've been with me on this journey. You know that I have really struggled to not struggle Well, struggled in a sense, like learned. I'm learning how to make sure that I'm prioritizing my kids and time with them and that I'm spending quality time with them. When I do get to spend time with them, I even you know, I used up all of my vacation time this summer, um, just to make sure. I had specific special days called mom fun days with them, where I can every week, once a week, there's a whole day where my attention is on them the entire time. They're home and I know that when you're a kid, your perception of things is a little bit different and you're very in the moment with well, you don't have time for me, you never want to be around me.

Jenny Benitez: 9:11

My son said today everybody hates me, you all always hate me, you all always call me a bully. I'm not a bully, I'm not mean. Well, he actually is a bully and he is mean, and I don't really understand why he can't see that. Like, we talked to him about it all the time, but it's just the words that come out of their mouth, as if I'm this terrible mother all the while while I'm trying to like kill myself. To be there for them is just beyond. So the last straw, basically after I had spent an hour and a half cleaning the kitchen and trying to make sure that everyone ate and got food on the table for everybody, and before any of you say, well, why didn't your husband cook to help you out? We just don't do it that way and honestly, I would prefer him not cooking, because when he does, he over salts the hell out of everything. So this is just our setup.

Jenny Benitez: 10:01

The times that I need a mulligan and I need a break, I just straight up, order out I can't. The times that I need a mulligan and, uh, I need a break, I just straight up, order out Like I don't even bother with um trying to make anyone else do it. I, I will use funds and get some help, because that's that's what I do, um, but it's it's really hard and today it was like a really tough one, um, today was like a really tough one, um, so I don't have a resolution here. I don't. I don't think any of you were expecting a resolution. I actually just wanted to share the SHIT storm that I had to power through today and oh and so, my final straw at the end of the day, after I spent all the time cleaning up his kitchen and trying to get things straight and trying to feed everybody and getting everybody together.

Jenny Benitez: 10:50

My kids have this habit of like eating dinner and then like 10 minutes later, saying like, oh, I need a snack and it's um, if you have kids, you probably have also the same problem and it's it's really annoying because I'm like, damn, like you just ate, what are you talking about? Like talking about Like drink some water, why do you need a snack? So my daughter comes in and I used to. I normally will do these little snack trays for them and it has like a little bit of snack of different things and I'll like mix it up for them and make it really, really fun. But she was asking me for a snack tray at like 645 and I I have other things, I have other things I have to do, I have to finish cleaning and immediately she's like oh, I know you're going to say no, oh, you always say no, and I'm like the timing is so bad here and I'm not, I don't always say no and it's just the constant drain on me as a human person is like mind bending. And so I try to.

Jenny Benitez: 11:46

I try to balance as much as I can and I'm trying so hard. I'm trying so hard to do it the right way and do things the right way for my kids, make sure that they have a great childhood experience, make sure that I'm living up to being a mother how I want to be a mother, and I'm trying to make sure that I'm living up to being a mother how I want to be a mother, and I'm trying to make sure that I'm being a wife the way I want to be a wife. I'm making sure that I'm a professional the way I want to be a professional. I'm making sure that I'm a podcaster the way I want to be a podcaster, because I free and love podcasting. This is like the light of my week right here is interviewing people and getting everything ready for the fall season and you know, just making sure that the podcast is still alive and thriving, which is like basically the light at the end of my tunnel was all the time.

Jenny Benitez: 12:34

So it's just incredibly overwhelming when I have such an overstimulated day. So literally my little one says to me like oh, make me a snack tray. And I said no. And you know she proceeded to like complain or whatever, and I literally just dropped what I was doing. It was like all right, that's it, and I left. I left and I said I was like I have to. I made up something, I had to go for the store and I said I have to go to the grocery store and I went and took 10 minutes and I sat by the ocean and tried to recharge a little bit and settle in the silence because it is so loud all day, constant noise and chatter and talking, and that's of my job and I talk for a living. It's just, it's so freaking much and I really I honestly felt like I was running out of my house screaming. If my neighbors would have thought I was nuts, I probably would have screamed at the top of my lungs in my driveway and then got in the car just to get it out, and it's so frigging much. So I'm sorry I was kind of all over the place with this episode, but I sort of did that by design.

Jenny Benitez: 13:57

I wanted you to hear the rawness of what this reality is, because I love that everyone's been following the podcast listening and I hope that you're finding the topics I'm talking about interesting. But I also wanted to stay true to form with what this podcast purpose is, and the purpose is that I want all of you to know that if you're having days like this, so am I and so is everybody else and you know what? Forget the frigging beautifully snapped Instagram and TikTok bullshit that you see, because it is exactly that. It's BS. Do you know how long it takes? If you have a family? You know that getting that one perfect picture posted takes about 45 shots and some meltdowns and some screaming and like whatever, like there is no perfection out there. There is no perfection out there. Nobody's lives are just all rainbows and sunshine all the time. It's just not possible. There's always ups and downs. So if you also are finding yourself in a situation like what I'm having to go through right now, where I am completely burnt out but I still got four weeks left to deal with, completely burnt out. But I still got four weeks left to deal with.

Jenny Benitez: 15:12

I'm here with you and even if you can just take five minutes to go and say I have to go get a gallon of milk, get your ass out of there and take those five minutes and just drive super slow and just take a minute, pull off to the side of the road and in a safe area and just take a minute for yourself, because if you don't, you're going to lose it. Like I almost lost it today, I almost fricking, snapped, like from the morning all the way till just now. It was like nonstop and I feel like I'm just cramming everything in and it's driving me a little insane. So I will survive this. I always do, but this is just the point where things are starting to get very tangled and very overwhelming, and that's where I'm at and that's why I'm like bubbling up the way I am today.

Jenny Benitez: 16:01

Again, I apologize, I know I was a little over the place, but I just wanted you to see this raw realness, because this is our reality, this is it and I there is no avoiding it. I just know that, like you know, I get through it, as I usually do, and so will you, um, feel free, please, please, please, feel free to message me. If you are having a tough time guess what? Me too Message me, I'll commiserate with you. We can send each other funny things, um, if you're, if you're, you know, struggling with the mom work balance or whatever, like hey, message me.

Jenny Benitez: 16:37

You hear me living through it. You hear me crying, sometimes, like guys, I'm here, I'm going through it with you and you don't have to do it alone. And I will say it, and I say it all the time. I am judgment free. I do not judge anybody for their journey or what their choices are, or how you're handling your life, or what you're doing, you know, with your kids, or how you're raising your kids. I am not a mom who's going to say oh my God, you fed your kids mac and cheese every day for a month. Oh my gosh, I would do it if my kids ate mac and cheese that consistently, like they don't. They like to switch it up on me. I'm going to be honest, but nevertheless, I want you to know I'm here and you're not alone, and we are going to get through this and we are going to be laughing about it. At some point not anytime soon, but at some point all of us are going to come to a realization, like our kids are bigger and now it's a little bit funny that this used to happen. We're not quite there yet, but we will get there eventually.

Jenny Benitez: 17:41

If any of you are interested in more content resources, check out the website. It just got a refresh recently. I just refreshed it. I have a couple more new resources that are going to be added to the website in the coming weeks. I'm just waiting for the information so I can add it to it and then I'll launch that out.

Jenny Benitez: 18:00

Follow the podcast on Instagram and Facebook. You can check me out on LinkedIn as well. I post there quite frequently. I hope you're all doing okay and, again, feel free to message me directly. In the description of the podcast there's a link that says message us or chat with us or something to that effect. You can actually message me directly and I can reply to you, which is very cool to me. Um, I hope that. I hope that in some way, if you heard this mental breakdown that I just had, it soothes you and makes you feel better about your situation. I really do, because that's why I'm here. I want you all to know that I'm here for you and I'm here and I see you. Take care, all of you, and I will see you on the next one.