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Steel Roses Podcast
Steel Roses is a podcast created for women by women. Social pressures for women are constant. Professionals, stay at home moms, working moms, we are here to tell you that you are not alone! This podcasts primary focus is providing real honest content shedding light on the daily struggles of women while also elevating women's voices.
All women are experiencing similar pressures and hurdles, and yet, no one is talking out in the open. If these topics continue to only exist as whispered conversations then we further permeate a culture of judgement and shame.
Join Jenny weekly as she discusses topics that effect women in a relatable, honest way.
Steel Roses Podcast
Dr. Kiprono and Breaking Chains: One Woman's Fight for a Better Future
What if sheer determination could help you escape the darkest moments of your life and turn your dreams into reality? Meet Dr. Luissa Kiprono, who achieved just that by transforming her tumultuous past in communist Romania into an inspiring career as a physician specializing in high-risk pregnancies. Despite enduring severe mental, physical, and emotional abuse from her father, her relentless hope and aspiration to become a doctor saw her through unimaginable adversity, including seven years of captivity. Join us as Dr. Kiprono shares her harrowing yet motivational journey, highlighting the power of perseverance and hope.
In our conversation, we uncover the profound purity observed in unborn babies through ultrasounds, discussing how our environments shape our behavior and character. We delve into the societal and familial pressures that often lead to self-imposed limitations and self-blame, and emphasize the importance of self-belief and persistence in overcoming adversity. Dr. Kiprono's personal anecdotes vividly illustrate the impact of positive reinforcement from parents, the effects of maternal stress on pregnancy, and the significance of kindness and recognition in everyday life.
We also explore the critical need for self-care through the concept of "filling your zen cup." From balancing work, family, and podcasting to participating in humanitarian expeditions in Peru, the narrative underscores the importance of finding personal time for activities that bring inner peace. Dr. Kiprono passionately shares the message behind her book, encouraging listeners to embrace possibilities, overcome obstacles, and make meaningful impacts in their own lives and the world. Tune in to this compelling episode filled with stories of resilience, gratitude, and hope, and discover how you can shape your world beyond adversities.
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Hello everybody. This is Still Roses podcast. This podcast was created for women, by women, to elevate women's voices. Welcome back to another episode. We have an amazing guest here with us today, dr Louisa Caprono, whose message is focused on hope and positivity to all women, that they are worthy, their goals matter and the only limit on them are the ones they impose on themselves. Dr Ciprono fulfilled her lifelong dream of becoming a doctor and now specializes in high risk pregnancies. She now shares the knowledge and wisdom she gained through her memoir and debut work Pushed and Breathed. This work will stun and inspire readers in equal measure. Dr Luisa, welcome to the show.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:Thank you, Jenny. Thank you for having me Very, very excited to be in your show.
Jenny Benitez:Of course Welcome. So why don't you let the listeners get to know you a little bit, tell them a little bit about your story, because I know I just touched on a little, I just scratched the surface.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:Well, I'm going to start by saying that I always wanted to become a doctor. Since I was a fifth grader, that was my dream to help people. I myself had some health hiccups in my childhood that you know. Finally, in about second grade, resolved through surgery. I had huge issues with tonsils, chronic tonsillitis. So when that finally came to par to get my tonsils removed surgically, mind you, with practically no anesthesia In communist Romania, the way we used to do it as pretty much some local, but then otherwise I'd strap it to the chair and hold your head up, hold your head high and then just yank them out. So besides the fact that that was extremely traumatic and painful, all of a sudden, just overnight, I started feeling better. After I healed, my whole life turned around and I realized how much good one can do to help people achieve their health and guide them and encourage them and promote their health. So that is in a way linked to my life story.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:Back in 1987, I came to the United States for the first time on a two-month visit. This visit was meant to get to know my father that I barely knew. I only met him before, like twice in my life. He was a former political dissident. He escaped communist Romania and he settled here in the United States about 10 years after. So my plan was to come visit the New Hampshire area, or New England area rather, and get to know him and turn back home. And at summer I was scheduled to take my medical school admission exam, to go to medical school in Romania and become a doctor. You know, go back to my family. That really never came to par and I'll go back to my family. That really never came to par. Unbeknownst to me, he had different, completely different plans for me.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:Within just a couple of weeks I became really an unwilling visitor. I was coerced into changing my name, my passport was taken away, I was forced to apply for political asylum and once that got rolling, actually everything turned into 100% mental, physical, emotional abuse and financial dependence. Now, mind you, I didn't speak any English and I had no family here, no friends, no relative besides him. So really the only thing that kept me going through all these years of captivity, which were about seven, six years and eight months, kept me going, kept me focused, was this desire to become a physician. Focused was this desire to become a physician. And really all I had, you know, with me or near me was a cat.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:She, she, always she's depicted in my book and really it was something that really kept me sane, kept me positive, kept me focused. And my mom, my mom was back in Romania and she and I would speak every Sunday for 59 seconds. That's how much I was allowed to. And that, again, it is amazing. And the reason I bring all that up is because it's amazing what just a little tiny bit of hope and a little tiny bit of sunshine that's left in all that darkness can keep us going. So, seven years later, I escaped. I became an American citizen, I started a new life, I joined the Air Force, the military, and then, through the Air Force scholarship program, I succeeded to actually finish my medical school and become a physician. That was a total of 15 years. That's amazing.
Jenny Benitez:Perseverance, and you know the what you said about having having that, that ray of light, or even that glimmer of hope, and how that allowed you to maintain, like, I guess, some sense of yourself while you're in that situation with your father, and then you were able to actually get to medical school, which is like I mean considering what you went through, because you were essentially held captive and you were in a country that you're not familiar with. You're here by yourself. Basically you only have your father. And then I could see, and I and I know like some folks will probably say, like well, why didn't you just leave? Like why didn't you just go somewhere? But if you took your passport, took your credentials, like you're alone in a country that you don't really know, like the comings and goings, like what were you supposed to really do besides, like trying to survive that situation that you're in?
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:Yes, and you know I, I on occasion get those questions especially believe it or not, especially from men, because they just can't. They're just differently wired genetically. They mean you know, harm. But you know, some said to me well, I'm surprised you didn't harm him, or I'm surprised you, just you know, why did you stay?
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:Or, like you said, or, and you know, just try to remember a couple of things that what happens to the foster children, right, when they graduate the system at 18 and they let them lose? They have no map road, right, they have no idea what the society is all about, what they have to do to overcome any type of dangers, any type of situations. So it's just like any strange beaten up, rejected animal. Okay, so what do humans do? They just try to find another human so they can get some consolation, somebody to believe in them.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:So a lot of the time, predators come into place and now you will go from bad to worse because you're still believing in the wrong individual that really is going to take advantage of you. And I know, every time, you know, I think, between my journey that I've made in my trials and my tribulations, that is the one thing that really, really resonates with me when I see that it's so. So many things are done out there, whether the foster children or abandoned children or orphans or, you know, the victims of our system that nobody really realizes. Like hey, put on your long-term lenses, not what's here for tomorrow, right, we're?
Jenny Benitez:talking about.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:What are people going to do in five years? What is people going to do in 10 years? What are these people going to do? Or women are going to do when, as soon as they get out, you know, it's not like, oh, I'm going to get out and I plan on getting pregnant. Oh, no, that's not what. It is right. It just means you want to love them and take care of them and a shoulder to cry on and they're taken advantage of. So, no, um, you, you know you risk becoming a statistic by by acting like. You know, hey, just run away or go to the police or go under the bridge. There's no, there's no system here in place. You know he's going to get a job like that. We're definitely like as a's. No, there's no system in place, you know, job like that.
Jenny Benitez:We're definitely like as a society there's there's so many really horrible gaps for for, especially for for children in the foster system and you know I I've actually I've thought about that quite quite a bit because you're right, you know you're expecting an 18 year old is going to age out of the system. Well, what are they going to do? Because me, at 18, I didn't know what I was doing. I needed a lot of guidance. Like I needed someone to kind of help me get to where I was getting Now. Like I have my own little like gaps and like my parents separating and me kind of having to like handle things alone, but it was never a situation of captivity. Like I always still had a range of support and if it wasn't my parents, cause they were dealing with their own nonsense, I had aunts and uncles. I had people that were in my corner that were like rooting for me to do better than what I was doing. Even my grandmother, I think she was in her seventies when I hit about 18. And even she was like Jenny, you can do better than this. Like you know, focus, stay focused on your, what you want to do, and I had people there. And if you really think about, like these young folks and not just women, but men too like when they come out of the system, where are they going next, you know, like, and what support do we have for them? There's so many, there's so many gaps like that, and then they're almost set up to fail. Really is what it is. It's almost like setting them up for failure because, well, we have these young people now that don't really understand the ins and outs of society, or getting a job, or how are we writing a resume? How are we balancing our checkbooks? How are we balancing our finances? There's no guidance. How am I in a good relationship if I've never seen a good relationship? You know, like that sort of thing.
Jenny Benitez:I think about that quite a bit because, down to the core of like, you know the example that you show your children, you know my kid, my husband, was just telling me the other night that him and my son were together yesterday. They had like one-on-one time because my girls and I had a Girl Scout meeting. And he told me later on in the evening he was like Vicente said to me we were talking about our old apartment and Vicente said to him oh yeah, I remember you and mommy used to fight a lot and he was like what? And we did? I mean we did. The kids were, it was three babies at once. There was a lot happening. So, yes, it did happen and they witnessed it because they were little, but at the time we were like they're little, this won't really affect them. But he's eight now and that was about four years ago and he remembers it and he said oh, I remember you yelled at mommy and she was crying. That's what he remembers.
Jenny Benitez:So, like these things, that like you think, these young people yeah, these young people in the system, young people growing up in abusive households, young people growing up with, like, alcoholic parents or alcoholic family members, trauma, like people who are being sexually abused within their households this is all like goes into the kid, it's like funneling it in and then where do they go from there? And to what? Your point was what? To what? Something that you had said earlier breaking those cycles and like what you went through, for example, breaking that cycle is incredibly hard because you lived through that and to walk away from that and come out OK and do what you've done is like a huge, huge accomplishment.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:Well, I have to. You know, I have to credit part of my success because of my upbringing. Part of my success because of my upbringing See up until 18 years in 11 months. I came here a month shy of being 19. I had the most loving, close-knit, supportive family. I was raised by my grandparents and my mother and you know I was like the bell of the ball. I was always. I mean, I've never, ever heard my mom or my grandparents say that I'm stupid, that I am ugly, that I cannot do anything life, and I took that in.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:I've never called my kids you're stupid, you can't do anything. You see what I mean stupid, you can't do anything. You see what I mean. It's that negative reinforcement that it's really, really damages, especially in a very impressionable mind that children have. Because as I talk to my patients all the time, I speak to my patients and you know about drugs and about using what about alcohol, about anything that goes into those patients' mouth or veins or otherwise, and I say just think about it this way that anything that you take, that baby will get.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:And that baby's brain is a white clean slate. So this is how we start wiring, this is now how we form habits and behaviors. So it's to me you know, when I look at these babies because I look at them in the ultrasound you know, when I see them, it's just like it just makes me smile Really. It brings so much joy because I'm blessed to see them. I'm one of the very few people to see them before they're born, in their own environment. I mean you see them stretching, you see them yawning, you see them sticking their tongue out. I mean it's really funny. But just I'm saying, is they're so innocent? Now you take them and you expose them to nothing but raw.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:Yeah, badness, what do you think is going to happen? I mean it's like monkey, see, monkey, do You're not going to be like oh yeah, I've seen all these tragedies around me. I'm going to do different. Well, you have to learn to do different because you have to see different. So I really believe that was my blessing, that those years I had my brain, my whole being was actually sheltered and brought up in such a great environment, and then I came here that actually I use that as my fountain. You know, like every time I would just be oh, my God, this is just not ending. What am I going to do and find that inner seed, that the third, the very, very deep soul that I had left, just was really deep inside me. So nobody can see it, know it or hurt it, and that's where I would find my peace, that my walks. I know I used to take walks in the cemetery nearby with my cat and that was my sanity.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:So I cannot emphasize enough and you know people are like, well, what can we do? You know, and I see things on, you know, on the media, I see things. Everybody has a formula, jenny. Everybody has a recipe, everybody you know, for a price. Everybody has a recipe, everybody you know, for a price.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:But really, what it is that I am trying to, you know, impress anyone out there in the lessons, my audience, my readers, is that we are the ones that impose our limitation on ourselves. We are. It is really truly up to us to be able to take on, to take the ownership and move on past what has happened to us. And you know, I always, just I always try to take, take my readers or my audience back. When you're a child, think about when we're children. Right, children are so fearless, they are so courageous, they're really limitless in their potential. I mean, you're not going to be able to tell a child, oh, you cannot do that, because they're like, oh sure, I can, right At the expense that they actually hurt themselves because they feel like they are like Superman or Superwoman. And then what happens? Giving up is something we learn growing up. We start to see. During this life, during this young, young upbringing, we started experiencing self-inflicted limitations that are imposed by the society, by the family, by friends, relatives.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:And then what happened is they keep repeating right, and then these limitations start getting embedded in our character and then becomes our life. So, you know it's. We start saying to ourselves oh, this must have happened to me because I've said something, I said something and that's why I deserve this, because I dress this way, because I acted this way, I am the root cause, and we women are extremely good at this. We're just like self-blame, self-ostracize, and then we start saying further hey, you know, if I could just fit into this neat little box, right, and don't step out of it, everything will go away. But it's not true, because that's not who we are. You're trying to portray something that is not you and at one point it's going to break down. And I, you know, I really see that a lot and that is my message Stop ostracizing, stop short of blaming yourself for everything.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:I was up until a point I was one of those, was up until a point. I was one of those. Because, you know, I remember saying to myself like it's all my fault, why did I have to stay, why did I even come, why did I have to come and get to know my father? Like it's my fault. That's why I'm pretty good with who I am and I continue that journey because at some point my mom said she didn't know what was going on at all. Nobody knew and she said why don't you just come home? You know, it's like four or five years in the making. You are not becoming a doctor, you are. You know you're not getting anywhere.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:And you know, I told her, her, I said because now there was no longer communism, right, communism fell in 1990 and like the winter of 89, and I said no, mom, I got myself in this predicament, I am going to get myself out of this predicament. So I rejected the help because I felt it was all on me to fix what I have done In my case. Actually it was something that happened in November of 1993. Before I, october 1993, rather before I became an American citizen, I went. I was allowed to go home for five days, which imagine going to Europe and back. It takes 24 hours to get to my home. But I was only allowed to go that long and it was very strategically placed right before my school because I was taking a class at the time I was allowed to in undergrad classes and it was right before my school started. And you know, he knew that I was not going to miss that Right.
Jenny Benitez:He knew that I'm going to come back.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:So I went home and my mom pulled me to the side and gave me a small amount of money, a gift, a thousand dollars, which in Romania is huge. I mean, it's just the way inflation was and I couldn't take it. And I said no, no, no, I just can't do this. I know I'm supposed to help you. You're my aging parent. Nothing I do around right. She said I want supposed to help you. You're my aging parent, nothing I do around right. She said I want you to keep it, I want you to have it. You never know what can happen. And I said what are you saying? She says well, I spoke with your father on the phone and when I, when I was, when I asked him what he's going to do about your school, he said you will make a very good secretary.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:He had no intention to help you go to school. So then, when the shift came, like it just hit me, I was like, oh my God, all these years, all these lies, because my hope was to get into medical school and escape that hell. But I, you know, I that was my only way to see it. I had no money. All the money that I would make. I would work two jobs and all the money would go straight to his account. Um, I used to get a dollar a week in um, but for for what? Right, allowance, right, yeah, and um, yeah, and I was actually like when I would drive to school his car he would write down the miles so I would not go extra miles or go somewhere without him knowing, knowing it was extremely, extremely hard.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:So when I heard that I came back a month, two months later, he went to Romania in a visit and during that time, with the help of my very best friend, who is still my friend, she drove me around to find, because I didn't know anything Again, remember, it's like I'm on the system. So I found a small apartment, put, um, you know, a money, a down payment, and I found a car and, um, my lucky stars were that I actually got a loan, because you know how hard it is if you don't have a credit, right, yeah, so I I believe that was like a deliverance, because I tried before to get a credit card. Nobody would to get a credit card. Nobody would give me a credit card because I didn't have any record and I was always told I could not do anything without him.
Jenny Benitez:I would do nothing without him.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:So that's when I moved. I got my citizenship, I moved out and I started in life. I started working three jobs just to survive. There was one thing that I want to share with you. The hardest thing, though, came after my escape, about a year after I just started realizing that, my god, I'm working three jobs and barely making ends meet. It was very hard, but I you know it's almost like. You know you have a mirage, that you keep walking towards it and it just keeps going away, right so, but I refused to admit it was going away my dream to become a doctor. So, a year later, I invited my mom in a visit Now that I was an American citizen, I could actually bring her here to visit me and it was Thanksgiving Day.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:Right after Thanksgiving Mass, we were walking together, and she asked me this question I don't know her, we're talking about you know things. She said well, what about your school, luisa? What about your dream? And that was the only two questions that she asked, and I said Mom, don't you see what's going on, like I'm barely, barely, surviving? But that question hit me so hard at that moment, and she didn't say anything else, jenny, nothing For that day or the further two months that she stayed, until January.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:When she left. She did not bring it back, but what that question did to me, it just woke me up. I said to myself this is not going to put me on my knees. I started taking ownership. I turned from being helpless to realizing that this is what I have meant to do, that I am powerful. I will take ownership of my dream and I'll go with it. So a month after she left, I applied to get into an undergrad program and that next September I was enrolled in my undergrad in the University of Massachusetts in Lowell, finished my undergrad in two years, and then I got into a medical school, I got the Air Force scholarship and the rest is history.
Jenny Benitez:What an amazing gift that your mother did for you. Well, one like your upbringing in general, with your mom really setting that stage to tell you like you've got something here and you can do this and you're, you're gonna you know, you're gonna achieve your dreams. And as much positive reinforcement that they gave gave you I and as you're talking, I was thinking about my, my kids and my daughter, genevieve. She's very like, she likes to draw, she likes to do art and she's really good and and I'll tell her like she'll show me her pictures and I'm impressed which is how she's able to do like just freehand draw. And I was talking like wow, I'm like you did a really good job. And she, she's like I know I'm a great artist and I'm like you are a great artist. Keep going, honey.
Jenny Benitez:And you know, as you're talking, I started thinking that through and that's it, that that helped you, almost saved you in that time that you were, you were held captive with your father. That that's really what helped to keep you alive, basically, and to keep your essence, because had you just gone into that situation without that already in your pocket, you might not have come out the other side Now, and then even her delivering that question to you. Like, well, what about your dream? I jotted that down because I'm a really big advocate of kindness towards others and to speak. I have a lot of instances where I'm inspired to tell someone something and all of a sudden, a thought will pop into my head like you know what, let me reach out to so-and-so. I noticed that they're working really hard on this. Like, I just want to make sure that they know that I see this. And, you know, let me reach out to so-and-so. You know, my colleague was working on this project. She hit it out of the park, like, let me just make sure.
Jenny Benitez:I like an overwhelming like, oh my God, thank you. Like you made my day here. And it's things like that that I think we're lacking so sorely. People don't speak like that to each other anymore, or they feel awkward about it or embarrassed, or what have you. And I'm, like I'm gonna be I. I don't even care if it's just me, for now I want to be the person that, like, gives people props when and you know, helps to light people up when, when, not even when they need it, like not in their darkest time, but in their everyday time. You know somebody who's doing a really great job, like give them some you know someudos, give them some props and say like hey, I see you, like I see you and don't forget who you are. Um, what an amazing.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:Yeah, my mom was a lighthouse for me and that is one of the things that I I advocate for and I guide and you know, you say that you do that. You talk to people, you send them a little note, you encourage them. It's funny because I do that with my team, with my practice, you know, because I do 100% telemedicine, I'm the only one that's remote.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:My entire clinic is on the ground with patients in, you know, in various locations one of them is in Kansas City and Missouri and, yeah, if they do a good, you know like, hey, this care was amazing, or hey, you guys did such a great job today because it was such a hard day, or you know the response. And the reply is invariably like you said, yeah Because you know you didn't have to, no, but you did because you wanted to recognize that person.
Jenny Benitez:And that person like, oh, my God, I am being seen Right, because how often do you go through life, even personally me, the amount of time that passes before I get like anybody point and I'm not looking for compliments, but like you know, like think about that though. How much time passes before someone says kind words to you and what does that make you feel like, like down at my core. I always say to people I'm like, treat others how you want to be treated, like even as an adult, treat people how you want to be treated, and then it comes back to you to be treated, and then it comes back to you. You also beyond like your practice and your work with the high-risk pregnancies, which I appreciate, by the way, because my twin pregnancy was high risk, like pretty seriously so because my pregnancies were so close together, they were both C-sections and you know it's a big no-no for yep, this huge no-no for C-section pregnancies. You're supposed to be waiting and I didn't.
Jenny Benitez:So I have a great appreciation for the work that you're doing and I also was interested, since you do get to work in the field that you get to work in. I'm always curious. And then I have a question about your humanitarian foundation. But I'm always curious about medical practitioners' opinions on the effects, like the surroundings from the baby, like beyond what you're consuming like food or you know otherwise. Um, to me I've always felt like how I was when I was pregnant my temperament when I'm pregnant. If I'm anxious when I'm pregnant, if I'm anxious when I'm pregnant, like that, that somehow affects my child as well.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:So with stress. And so what happened? Is stress all kinds of stress, okay, whether it's acute or chronic increases our stress hormone, which is cortisol. So stress hormone is our, the hormone that gives you, together with adrenaline and epinephrine, that flight or fight response, right. So when your cortisol is up, everything is vasoconstricted. Why? Because all that blood has to go to organs that make you survive the brain, the adrenals, the muscles right, everything has to be ready to go Well.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:Chronic stress has always been associated with increased risk of diabetes, increased risk of hypertension, cardiovascular disease, stroke, because we cannot function at that high amount of stress all the time. Okay, it's good in small doses, but it's not good when you are always in this heightened condition and trauma, trauma recipients, whether it's a foster child, whether it is trafficked, whether it is abused, anything that keeps you in that you know, like gosh, what's going to happen next. What is what other? Is my next drug going to drop now, or maybe in an hour? Well, that is really impacting on our bodies, whether you are pregnant or non-pregnant. So, pregnant women, and you know the stress in pregnancy has been documented it's associated with freedom of labor, growth restriction, high blood pressure, diabetes, because, again, cortisol increases your blood pressure because, again, it's a stress hormone.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:Diabetes because cortisol also increases our blood sugar. So obesity it is one of the stress levels imposed by cortisol, because cortisol in high levels and prolonged levels does not increase muscle mass but increase adipose tissue. We retain fat. Why? Because we don't know when we need that extra energy from the fat. In non-pregnant women it has been associated with infertility. Chronic pelvic pain it's very well known to to be affected. Depression, anxiety all this is fueled, but chronic pelvic pain a lot of. And I had former patients when I was practicing ob-gyn with a lot of pelvic pain that we could not really pinpoint to an organic cause. But then, as we started digging in, these patients had a lot of trauma and abuse and neglect as growing up and they had a very, very poor self-image of themselves.
Jenny Benitez:It's interesting After my kids were born my son was in 2016 and the girls were in 2017. And I often say like from 2016, well, really 2017, but from 2017 to 2019, I had like basically lost, like all of myself, to just and I do mean lost because I anything that I could have done to help me or help my health. I did nothing. I didn't even see doctors for three years. I didn't go after my last OBGYN check after my kids were born, like I never went back. I never got blood work done and by the time we got to 2019, my health was in such poor shape because I was so stressed out all the time. I was only sleeping about two hours a day because the kids were up throughout the night and then I was working full time so I would work all day and then I'd have to work into the evening and I'd be working till 3am and the kids would be getting up and it was, and it was like a constant cycle of like just overwhelming stress and I used to like, I used to joke about it, but it is very and I still joke about it, but it is very serious. We're like I would, um, I would have these outbursts of like crying were like I was just falling apart over something silly. And then I would have these outbursts of like crying where, like I was just falling apart over something silly. And then I would also have these moments of such sheer, severe exhaustion where I would be like in the middle of a task, like I would be cooking dinner or I would be giving the kids a bath, and all of a sudden I could feel my body just like starting to slowly like power off and I would have to quickly rush through what I was doing and then make sure the kids were fine. And then I'd have to go. I would literally just have to go lay down and I would tell my husband like I'm just, I'm having like an episode, like I have to go lay down, like I need to rest, and then I would. I would literally my body would shut down on me for a couple hours and then I would wake back up and I would continue on the path that I was on.
Jenny Benitez:And when I got to 2019, um, my medical doctor said to me she was like you're, you're taking years off your life. I finally got myself to a doctor and I was telling her I was like I'm severely overweight, like I'm obese. Um, I was like this is all my symptoms I'm having knee pain, joint pain, like I think I might have arthritis, I've. I was like I I'm trying all these crazy diets, nothing's working. And and she said to me, she was like you know, if you're not sleeping but you're trying to diet, your body doesn't have the energy to even diet, like it doesn't have the energy to burn calories because it's so exhausted. And then, on top of it, like, if you're not eating properly, well, anything you take in, it's gonna stay, it's gonna save because, to your body, you're like in a starvation trauma situation and it's trying to maintain itself.
Jenny Benitez:And in 2020, when, like you know, the world started to shut down, that was, that was the moment when I was able to actually step back. My husband stopped working. He primarily was with the kids. I was able to focus on work and then I was also able to start prioritizing myself as like a human again and I got my health back in order. I was able to lose weight.
Jenny Benitez:After that, you know, like, and there was this slow progression of like, okay, we're getting ourselves back together, and only in the past. I want to say like two and a half years have I mentally felt like myself. It took a really really long time and a really long, like a long road of like self-discovery. Because two and a half years ago was when I had my moment of. I have been beating down this corporate path for my whole life because in my head was you went to college and now you need to make money and you need to make as much money as possible. It doesn't matter what you sacrifice, you need to just make as much money as you can. And so for the longest time, I sacrificed everything for my job and I made sure my kids were taken care of, but I sacrificed everything for my job. I made sure my kids were taken care of, but I sacrificed everything for my job.
Jenny Benitez:And I had this pivotal moment, like two and a half years ago, where I realized I was like you're losing this.
Jenny Benitez:You're losing all your time with your kids. You're never getting this back. And that was the moment that I was like I have to start exploring, like Jenny, what do you really want to do with yourself? Like you're great at your job, but like this isn't making you happy, like you're becoming kind of a miserable jerk, you need to do something else. And it really helped. Like even my kids were always saying like Mommy, you're, you know, you're so sad all the time, you're always upset, you're always mad at us. And like I started seeing like the reflection of myself and them and I was like, oh God, like there has to be a better way. And I think that there's a lot of women that get stuck on this like hamster wheel of like I need to just get through this or I have to do it this way, because I've been told I have to do it this way and I think you said it earlier we're trying to fit ourselves into this particular box because we were told this is the box for you. Well, who says it's?
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:the box for you. I mean, it's so true and um, you know, we, just like you say, bit beta solves and the thing that matters most become the last on the list. And you know what I said about the lighthouse. That is one of my three principles Find your lighthouse. You have to everyone, even if it's an animal, it doesn't matter. It has to be one person, that one being that you can turn to and trust them. They will listen to you. They will cry, trust them. They will listen to you. They will cry with you, they will laugh with you. They will give you a kick in the butt when you need to, but that's okay, because they mean well and you need that.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:The second thing is your cup. So I call it the cup, or our cup of feeling. It's our zen cup. So what happened is that I'm a runner. Right, I love to run. That is what gets me grounded, but it doesn't have to be running.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:It can be yoga, it can be journaling, it can be just watching the birds or just meditating, anything, anything that brings you that inner peace, and give it to yourself one hour a day. One start with half an hour a day in the morning. You know why it's your me time. Women and men, but especially women, we feel like we have to do it all. I'm guilty of that, right I am. But I have learned.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:There is one thing that I will not give up, and I said that I will not give up that one hour of Zen for me in the morning, when I can do whatever I want for myself, that is, for me, filling my own cup. Because if you don't have that, you become so depleted and you don't want to. You become so depleted and you're never going to last. You can't last. It's like you know you're becoming empowered Sooner or later you got to power on to get some battery life in you, but you can't just do it. Hey, I'm going to do it, I'm going to take a spa day every three months. Now, that doesn't work that way. You know. It's that consistent daily fill your cup kind of attitude. And some women or some humans out there I mean I've had it was like well, I'm just too busy for that.
Jenny Benitez:Well, no, it's like you can't be You're not just too busy.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:You may try to make me feel guilty because I'm taking my time for myself, but every human out there needs a little bit of time every day for themselves. I mean it's just self-nurturing, otherwise you're just falling apart. I mean because all these things that come to us whether it is family, profession, finances, you name them they are drawing energy from us, right?
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:You need to be concentrated. You need to give, you need to you give, you give, you give, but you don't receive anything and at the end of the day or at the end of the week, all you do is just like crawl on the couch and you're like exhausted and it's like wow what kind of and what kind of life is this?
Jenny Benitez:yeah, what kind of life is this that we're living, doing that, you know?
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:like that's horrible it is it is and, um, you know when it comes. I always say to, even to my sons I said you know the moment of truth when you are alone and you look yourself in the mirror and if you don't see it yet, on the other end, someone that is truly radiant and have some joy in this life, because you know it's not going to be 100% joy, but it shouldn't be 100% misery. So if you see that you are unhappy, listen to the person that you're looking at, because you're not, you're not fulfilled, you're just in the hamster wheel.
Jenny Benitez:It's crazy because once I got off the hamster wheel, it's. It's crazy because once I got off the hamster wheel and, like you know, I've had people critique me about podcasting because I obviously I'm already busy, I have children, they have activities, I'm I get as involved as I can, including like volunteering to lead a lot of these groups, because, regardless of me working, I always want my kids to know like, yes, mommy works, but mommy's also here for you. Like I'm not, I'm not going to not be there for you. They have like their end of summer school summer play coming up and it's in the daytime. And they were like, well, can you, we know you work. And I was like no, I'm going to come. And they were like so excited. So I'm like you know I'm always going to show up for you guys regardless. But I've had criticism from folks telling me like, oh, you have so much going on already, like, and you're podcasting too, like why would you do that? And they're like you have it's work. And I'm like it's not work if you really, really love it. You know, like for me, getting to do these, getting to meet you and all the other guests and getting to engage with everybody and hear your stories and it's so enlightening and empowering, like when I do the recordings and I get to edit them and I get to, you know, work with everyone on promotion and stuff, I'm like this is like the most exciting thing for me. This is like this is filling my cup. Even if it's work, it's, it still is very exciting for me. That is like this is filling my cup. Even if it's work, it still is very exciting for me. That is like my thing. And then also, like what you said about you know, finding time for yourself, like, yes, podcasting is like a passion for me. I love it. You know, this is my thing.
Jenny Benitez:But I also make it a point to make sure I'm meditating every single day. I don't. I think I've had a couple of times where, like we've had family members here and then I would miss it, but in those days I can tell. I can tell immediately what. And if I go too long, we had people here for over like a two week span. We had just people coming and I didn't get to meditate for like a week and a half and at the end of it I was like grouchy, I was snapping at people at work. My whole, my whole energy was just completely off. I think I scared one of my coworkers and she was really thrown off about like how bad I I was acting. And she was just like maybe we should just, you know, and I was like I'm sorry, let me, let's talk tomorrow, you know, let me reset.
Jenny Benitez:And I made sure the next morning to make sure that I meditated, because if I don't do it, all of a sudden all of my bad habits come out and my cup is not full anymore and I don't have anything to give anybody.
Jenny Benitez:And I've said on other episodes too, like when my kids were small, I couldn't get to anything, and that's how I felt. I felt very overwhelmed and alone and burdened with like everything on my plate. As you said, as a woman, I felt like I need to do everything by myself. One thing that I've said time and again is I wish I had just taken five minutes, even if it was just five minutes of silence, before I get in the shower, turn the shower on and just sit there for five minutes and just breathe or do breathing exercises or find a meditation that's really quick there's really quick ones that are five minutes long and like just take a minute for yourself, because if you're not doing that, you're gonna just continue to get kind of like kicked around down this course and it's not necessarily for you and you really have to find your path. Um, so you also, you also have a. You founded a human humanitarian foundation as well. Is that that's correct?
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:yes, and, and that's amazing okay, I really enjoy teaching, I love teaching. So, teaching to me and I say teaching it's not that I'm teaching medical students or I'm teaching students, it's anybody. When I talk to my patients, I am not just talking hey, you have this, you're going to do this, I try to enlighten them, because to me, um, you know, when you enlighten patients, then they get a lot of knowledge and they start to be like, oh, okay, and then they start asking questions very, very you know insightful questions and I say to them I said, well, I love to let you know, I love to teach you, because then you know a lot more than when we started. Then you ask questions and that keeps me, you know, up to date. Like if I don't know something, I'll look it up. And then if you go to another physician and you ask the questions, they're like oh, my gosh, actually she knows what she's talking about, as opposed to being fed all kinds of things. Okay, because you know, like not all physicians are created equal, just like not all engineers are created equal, Right, but I love to teach.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:So back in 2010, 2011, I actually put together a course when I was in Uganda, in Ethiopia, and I taught that course it was for midwives and physicians. I was doing the OB part and high-risk OB, I had a GYN uh, obgyn physician that would do the GYN part and um, they really, really enjoyed it. So, um, again, between my patients, even here, when we speak together, when I give podcasts that you know know, I'm really enjoying them. Why? Because I can impart my knowledge and if someone asks me questions about it's a question about you know, being a physician or being a author or being an entrepreneur. I'm happy, I am so delighted to share my knowledge. I mean, really, why keep it all? You know, I get hit truck tomorrow and nobody's going to know anything. I mean, like, what's the big deal? It'd be like we should monetize out of it. I'm like you know what? There's a place for everything.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:I just want to talk to people because I want them to know that I was like them or there are other people that have going through a lot of trouble and a lot of tribulations and a lot of shameful situations and they think that they're alone.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:They think oh, nobody else cares and nobody else must be going where I'm going. Oh, let me tell you a lot of them. So I started doing that and then, since then, every time I go on a humanitarian mission, I make a point to teach. There is a place, an OBGYN residency program in Kenya, and they have obviously residents. So I go there and I lecture them, I teach them ultrasounds. I'm actually going in February 2025.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:Last year I went to Peru. That was actually an expedition. So that expedition was in the Cordillera Huayhuas, very, very high elevation, like 17,000 feet, and what we would do, we would just go from one village to another and at the end of the clinic, you know, we'd sleep there and then in the morning, make our tents and move on. It was extremely, extremely demanding, but it was very, very rewarding. You know, I got to do ultrasound and, you know, do pregnancy checks on women who don't really have medical care, and it was just very rewarding. I mean, it's such a rewarding thing to do and I take time from my practice, it's true, but to me it's not. Honestly in life it's not all about the money, right, and we have to remember that, because if we forget that, you know we all go for money, money, money. What I always say if you enjoy and really, really love what you do, money comes yeah.
Jenny Benitez:I've said the exact same thing. I was waiting for you to say it. I say the exact same thing. I've had, um, it's uh, I think it's called the um, the mentality of um lack or or you know, or the mentality of scarcity. You know, and people will people have said to me like, well, you should be charging for this or you should, you know, for the podcast. Like you should be charging a fee and this and that. And I'm like, well, I, I suppose, but also, and there and cause my husband will hear me give like free advice out for like marketing and all this stuff, and I'm like he's like, well, you should be charging. Like you have a, you have a business. Like I have an agency that I can charge through, you know to do that. But I'm like, yeah, I could, but, like you know, I'm just I'm talking with so-and-so, like you know I'm gonna. I don't mind.
Jenny Benitez:As you said, I love sharing my knowledge. I get really excited to be able to talk to somebody about. If I run into a small business owner and I get to talk to them, I'm like, well, what's your marketing plan? What are you doing to promote your business? And I can give them an idea. That's exciting for me. I love doing stuff like that. Dr Louisa, I wholeheartedly agree that there is more than enough for everybody. We have to get out of that scarcity mentality and share this, what you have, because you're right. When you love what you're doing, everything else comes, the finances come. Just have that mentality of there is enough and I'm going to share what I have because there is more than enough.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:I'm grateful, I'm blessed that I share what I have, because there is more than enough. I'm grateful and blessed that I have what I have. I do not forget for a moment what I came from. And to be able to always ground yourself and go back to your basics. You always that will be like your little starting point and anytime, because you know how we get.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:It's called um I listened to this the other day um, it is the fact that we get used to, you know, whatever we get, you know, after a couple of years it becomes the, the status quo, right, so it kind of like we never, we never be, we have seem like we never have enough, right, because we always that constant. Okay, I need something new to constant. Okay, I need something new to please me, I need something new to excite me. Yes, so, uh, you know, it's just like you never can please humans. Well, if you, for a minute, when we become ungrateful and hey, you know what I, you know, once in a while I fall into that trap too like, oh my god, and you know, it's like I just can't believe this. And then I'm like wait, it's so great that I'm healthy.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:I used to not have anything. I used to have a dollar a week. I used to work three jobs and I had nothing to show for and I had no way out, and that it's really like a constant reminder. When I go to my humanitarian missions and I see how people live and how little they have and they're still happy, it's like, oh okay, just remember, you know they eat, you know some bread and salt and a piece of onion and they're okay, and what's the big deal? So, backing off, so I I always say don't forget where you came from, don't forget your basics 100.
Jenny Benitez:I. I wholeheartedly agree um dr louisa. Thank you for so much for coming on the podcast and sharing your story um everyone. If you're interested in hearing more of dr louisa's story um, her book link is going to be in the episode description. You can access it there, and then I'll also include her other links so you can follow her on social media as well. Again, thank you so much for joining the show. Really appreciate you sharing your story.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:Thank you, jenny. I really appreciate you. I appreciate your audience. You, jenny, I really appreciate you. I appreciate you and your audience. I hope you guys take a minute and get my book. Not because of the book, it's because of the story and the message that is really, really powerful and all my hope out there is that you know to change someone's life. If someone can take this and change their lives for better, that is all I envision, because you have possibilities. So embrace your possibilities, overcome and influence the world because it's your world. Thank you.
Jenny Benitez:That was beautiful. Thank you so much, dr Luisa. Everybody, we'll see you on the next one, take care.
Dr. Luissa Kiprono:Take care, take care. Have a great day.
