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Steel Roses Podcast
Steel Roses is a podcast created for women by women. Social pressures for women are constant. Professionals, stay at home moms, working moms, we are here to tell you that you are not alone! This podcasts primary focus is providing real honest content shedding light on the daily struggles of women while also elevating women's voices.
All women are experiencing similar pressures and hurdles, and yet, no one is talking out in the open. If these topics continue to only exist as whispered conversations then we further permeate a culture of judgement and shame.
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Steel Roses Podcast
Karolina Rzadkowolska and Unveiling the Truth: How Alcohol Impacts Health and Happiness
Ever wondered if giving up alcohol could unlock a more vibrant, fulfilling life? Join us for an eye-opening conversation with bestselling author and master coach Karolina Rzadkowolska, who shares her compelling insights on reevaluating our relationship with alcohol. Karolina's story challenges the notion that only those who hit rock bottom need to rethink their drinking habits. Instead, she introduces the empowering Sober Curious movement and recounts her own transformative experience with Dry January, illustrating how living alcohol-free can align better with our health, values, and aspirations.
Do you believe alcohol helps you relax and have fun? Think again. In this episode, Karolina and I debunk common myths about alcohol's effects on the brain and body. Discover how alcohol acts as a depressant, releasing stress hormones that can lead to anxiety and sadness, and learn about its disruptive impact on nutrient processing and weight gain. We also dive into the science of dopamine receptors and how alcohol creates a vicious cycle of dependency by dulling our natural sources of pleasure.
Ready for a life with better sleep, more energy, and overall improved well-being? We discuss the dramatic health benefits of quitting alcohol, from lowered blood pressure to reduced inflammation and beyond. Karolina sheds light on the misconceptions around the so-called health benefits of moderate drinking, especially for women. Imagine trading that fleeting buzz for sustained joy and vitality—this episode might just inspire you to explore an alcohol-free lifestyle and experience life with a newfound passion and raw excitement.
Euphoric; By Karolina Rzadkowolska
Alcohol-Free Empowerment Coach and Author (euphoricaf.com)
Karolina Rzadkowolska | Alcohol-Free Empowerment Coach (@euphoric.af) • Instagram photos and videos
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Hello everybody, this is Steel Roses podcast. This podcast was created for women, by women, to elevate women's voices. I am very honored to introduce you to our guest today. Today we have Kavarlina Shadkowalska. She is a bestselling author of Euphoric Ditch Alcohol and Gain a Happier, more Confident you. It's an empowering book on how ditching alcohol will revolutionize your body, mind and soul, with no rock bottom story needed. Carolina believes that reevaluate reevaluating the role of alcohol in your life is one of the most empowering choices and intuitive person can make that allows them to better align with their bigger dreams and deepest values. She's a master coach, certified and trained in multiple modality modalities, and has worked with thousands of clients through her online programs and coaching to change their drinking habit and unleash their deeper purpose. Carolina also certifies new coaches in her ICF approved empowered AF coach certification program. Carolina, welcome to Steel Roses. Thank you for being on the podcast.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for the warm welcome. I'm so excited.
Speaker 1:So, carolina, I was thrilled when you reached out because, on a personal level, my husband and I gave up alcohol about four years ago or five years ago, something to that effect. So I loved when you reached out to Beyond, because I'm like this is something that's a big deal. We have our feelings about it, but I would love for you to share with the listeners your focus for your work and information that you think that they really need to hear about your coaching program and any details that you want to share with them.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much. Well, I think alcohol is one of the oddest topics that we have in our culture, because it's like a very taboo topic, right Like we only talk about it, whether it's gone kind of too bad and you know someone's drinking way too much and they need to go to rehab and AA and all those kinds of things. Other than that, everything's normal, everybody drinks. We go to all socializing and stuff like that, and I feel like there's been this really black and white way of treating alcohol, the way that we almost don't do with any other kind of lifestyle, kind of practice that we do. And so what my work really focuses on is asking questions of but does alcohol serve me? Right? I don't have to compare myself to anybody else, I don't have to label it a problem, I don't have to do anything like that. Is it serving me? And I'm finding that more and more intuitive women especially as we're getting older and more health conscious and we're not out partying like we were in our twenties we really do want a lifestyle that's aligned with our health, aligned with our values, aligned with mindfulness, aligned with being present with our kids and also aligned with our deeper dreams. I work with so many women who have really big dreams and visions. And I mean, if we really think about it just very logistically, does drinking set you up to feel like a million bucks the next day? Does it make you wake up and say I'm on fire, I'm gonna go, you know, like tackle the world? Of course not right Biologically. There's not a single human on this planet that wakes up feeling amazing after drinking.
Speaker 2:And so yet we buy into this like kind of cultural institution that you have to drink and it has to be part of your life. And we all know the negative consequences. We feel them, we know them. We feel them even more, especially as we're getting older. It disrupts our sleep. It completely, you know, makes us feel foggy and groggy the next day. It can even last for many weeks. We can kind of go into the science of that as well, on the show, if you'd like.
Speaker 2:But I think some of us have that kind of love-hate. It's like, oh, I like this as a treat, maybe to mark the end of the day, or it's nice to have a few drinks with friends, but then there's that hate aspect as well. And so I think what my work is really for is that intuitive person who really wants to explore that, really wants to evaluate, that, really wants to get curious about that. And because we're so indoctrinated in this culture of drinking as such a normal part of our lives, it's actually very rare in our society for people to take a long, extended break away from alcohol. It's getting much more popular today, thank God, because of things like Dry January and just the Sober Curious movement is like really getting big. But like kind of typically traditionally most people would have never taken a break from alcohol in their lifetimes other than pregnancy, right, which is a whole other kind of thing.
Speaker 2:And so really my work is inviting people to question, you know, does alcohol serve me and why don't I explore what it feels like to try on the alcohol free lifestyle? And that's really what I did. You know, I had one of those complicated relationships with alcohol that brought me a lot of that love hate, but it was nowhere near one of those rock bottom stories. And so I think, because it wasn't a rock bottom story, I didn't allow myself the even permission to explore living alcohol free, because I just had this belief system that all adults must drink. So if I want to be a normal adult, I better put up with that Right. And obviously I use alcohol to have fun and relax and all those kinds of things which we will talk about, because we can completely debunk all of those beliefs about what alcohol serves us to do.
Speaker 2:And so when I first tried to dry January that's like my first time I had this aha moment of like, oh, this is what it actually naturally feels like to just be alive without alcohol in your system. And I wasn't drinking every day by any means, it was actually only a weekend thing for me at that point in my life and just having a whole month without any weekends with alcohol was phenomenal. I drink again that February and like that contrast that I felt immediately to the dry January was so like a big contrast. The sleep sucked. I felt so groggy the next day and I even noticed in the moment after having a drink I actually got cranky and frustrated and impatient and I was like, wait a minute, I thought I was drinking to have fun and have a good time. Like this is not lining up to what I expected. And it was after that that I really dug deep into my alcohol beliefs and really, you know, tried on the alcohol-free lifestyle in a more serious way, and you know I've been alcohol-free ever since, which is about almost seven years.
Speaker 2:It's going to be coming up pretty soon and I think what is so brilliant about this work is that, again, the more we are getting conscious about health and our values and living a life according to our personalities and our unique intuitions, it's like this whole byline that drinking is just what you do and everybody does it.
Speaker 2:It's like we're kind of rebelling against that and I think that's really, really cool. And it doesn't mean you have to stop drinking for forever either. It's just like why don't we try this on and see how it feels for me? And while it might be hard in the first like week or two, like the benefits start compounding at such an exhilarating rate that you get high on this new life and it just gets better and better and better. And which I find we can talk about too, is that like people actually get really honed in on what do I really want for my life. You know, it's like a really good self-discovery time and like really the big questions kind of get answered and like people go on to do incredible things as a result of this journey.
Speaker 1:So I want to touch on like so many things that you just talked about. I'm going to refer to my notes now. So I want to talk about the science behind it first, because I think that people will hear. I think people hear when we talk about like you can really do so much more when you're alcohol free, and they disregard that as like all right, whatever, sure you know. Or oh yeah, it's like kind of hippie, like oh yeah, you feel good, love, whatever, and it gets kind of disregarded like really honestly, people don't take it seriously. But the reality, that's a real thing. So I want to talk about that too. But because I think people need to hear the actual science here there's a legitimate effect.
Speaker 1:So, yes, like we're told like, oh, drink alcohol, you can relax. It relaxes you technically, it doesn't. So I know we'll talk about that. To have a drink, you'll have more fun. Okay, sure, because you're losing your senses a little bit, you might loosen up a little bit more.
Speaker 1:But the reality of it is like my husband and I say and we're like I mean, people now are like you guys are old farts and they make fun of us, but we tell our family members we're like you're literally drinking a poison Like that. I mean, that's the only way we talk about it in our house and our kids have now grown up hearing that too, and so the times that we've had people here and the, you know we're not going to tell people not to drink, it's their business. They're always like, oh, they're like, they're, they're allowed, they're drinking, and we're like, yeah, listen, and we explained to them, like you know, some people do it, we don't do it, we choose not to. And I want to talk about, like the actual physical like. When you drink, what's happening in your body. How long is this alcohol lasting in your body? And you know what? What? What does all that mean for the individual when they are having that drink and then consistently drinking?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so good. So there's so many elements to dive into, but I think I'll I'll focus on the ones that were the most like, shocking and the most eye-opening to me. So first of all, yes, a lot of people drink to relax. It comes to be kind of like a ritual. At the end of the day, I think we live way too overproductive lives. Modern society necessitates that we're always on, and so having this you come home, you pour a glass like the ritual has come to mean I'm going to relax now, right. And so we have this real big cultural assumption as well that alcohol helps relax us.
Speaker 2:So what immediately happens when we drink alcohol? Alcohol is a depressant, and so what it does is slowly slows down our nervous system, which actually is not relaxing it the way that, like you think it's turning it off. Right, it's completely closing off your senses, which is kind of scary. When you actually really think about it that way, you're just becoming numb in essence. But our bodies are really smart, and so, in in the response to that, we actually release stress hormones every single time we drink alcohol. Those are trying to wake us back up from that kind of death the body thinks it's going through, and so our body releases cortisol, adrenaline and something called dynorphin in response to alcohol. Dynorphin isn't very much heard of the way cortisol might be, but it's basically the opposite of endorphins and it makes us feel very low and sad, like very low and sad right. And so most of the time we have a drink and maybe say you're only going to have the one drink, you might feel those stress hormones come in at 40 minutes after the drink or so and it starts to maybe feel a little uncomfortable, maybe you feel a little on edge. Most people just reach for another drink right, and so you keep drinking, keep drinking, push that kind of away. A lot of people feel those stress hormones pop in the middle of the night. You wake up at 3, 4 am. You in the middle of the night. You wake up at 3, 4 am you might remember before you stopped drinking and you have the biggest anxiety. You're totally ashamed of yourself. You're like oh my gosh again. You're ruminating about everything that's wrong in your life. That's all that dynorphin in your mind. It's not you, it's not actually you. This is the chemical cocktail that alcohol releases. And then sometimes people feel also then the next day. So you have more anxiety, more negative thinking the next day.
Speaker 2:We actually process ethanol. There's this byline that we process a drink every hour. Nope, not like after the age of 18. It takes about 48 hours to process ethanol completely out of your body. It is a poison. So your body has to prioritize processing that alcohol first before it does anything else. So it is not processing the carbs, the proteins, all the food you ate. It's storing that for later because it has to metabolize that alcohol out of your system first. That is why weight gain is very typical in a drinking lifestyle.
Speaker 2:And so in addition to now, like processing that ethanol, you also have the byproducts of ethanol that the body creates, which are also poisonous, and all those stress hormones. Those actually circulate in your body for much longer than just those 48 hours. It can be up to a week, if not even two weeks, that you're still dealing with those stress hormones. So basically, what was happening for me, as someone who drank every weekend, is I would get these artificial spikes of this high feeling and I'll talk about how the dopamine response is also affected by alcohol and then all of a sudden it would crash on Monday morning and I'd feel so low throughout the week and then I drink again on Friday and get those spikes again, and so it's alcohol's actually creating the apathy, the feelings of just lowness, the feelings of blah, so that alcohol then becomes a learning again the next time you drink it.
Speaker 2:When you stop drinking for a break, it actually desensitizes you and you start to really respond to dopamine again. So alcohol does also release dopamine, just like any other drug, like cocaine or heroin, and it's really like this high spike in the body. Your brain knows something's wrong. It's like this is not the natural kind of dopamine I get from. You know normal natural activities. It knows something is wrong. So what happens over time is dopamine is like a neurotransmitter with like receptors that catch it in your brain. Those receptors retract and so you're actually becoming desensitized to those artificial spikes of dopamine and the natural spikes of dopamine. So they found that people who drink alcohol have much less natural, like dopamine in their bodies and their brains circulating than people who do not drink.
Speaker 2:Alcohol also lowers our GABA and serotonin, other two neurotransmitters that make us feel happy. So basically, in just a nutshell, our stress hormones go way up, our happiness neurotransmitters go way down and we just think that that's what normal adulthood feels like. When you take a break from alcohol and it's going to differ from person to person, but let's say, around the four to six week mark your neurotransmitters really rebalance, the body's cleared out all those stress hormones. You feel high, like from life, like the clouds make you feel happy, the you know puppy makes you feel happy. Things that are more mundane are all of a sudden bringing you more joy in your life. And it's this incredible feeling because again, we look to alcohol as a society for fun, but it actually diminishes our sense of joy in every other moment. And so that I think to me when I not only experienced that firsthand but also like learn the science about it. That to me was just like wow, I don't know if I could ever go back to something that actually neurologically makes me feel sad and anxious and is stealing my joy when natural living, like most adults, if they start drinking at the age of 18 or 21,. We actually don't even know what it feels like in our natural mental states If alcohol is always a present force, even if we're only drinking once a week or, you know, even once every two weeks, it's still always messing with us, which is really fascinating.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of cool things that also happen when you remove alcohol, because it affects every system in your body. There are studies that show that even just five weeks off alcohol will lower your blood pressure, will lower your blood cholesterol, will lower inflammation across your body, will lower cancer markers in your body, will have brain matter grow in your brain, which is really cool because alcohol is really heavily implicated in dementia and Alzheimer's and all those kinds of things. People who drink, even regular, normal drinkers, have actual more holes in their brain. Dr Daniel Ammon has proven with all of his work. And so when you, when you take a break, the healing mechanism goes on so quickly that, like people get off medication, they lose weight. You know, because alcohol force your metabolism so much, people can lose a lot of weight. Like, the benefits are insane. And those are just the physical benefits. Right, we could go on and on also to to talk more about the mind and the spirit benefits that I think result as well.
Speaker 1:I met listeners when video, when we release video of this episode, you'll see my jaw drop at some of the stuff that Carolina just said, because you literally just described like things that I've experienced myself. I never understood why I would wake up at like 3am and be like disoriented, anxiety, depression, like the whole bit, and even like the physical the next morning. I remember I used to be shaking, like my hands would be shaking, and I had a friend that was like, oh, just drink Gatorade, like that's just dehydration, and I was like, oh, okay, that makes sense. It's crazy that this is literally what's going on in your body. And then the part that's really mind blowing is that, like you have the folks that are like, well, I just drink wine at dinner and it are like, well, I just drink wine at dinner and it's like, okay, well, you know, I'm just, I'm just having it with my meal, it's fine, it's healthy.
Speaker 1:The doctor said it's okay for me to drink wine every single day, but then the reality of it is your body will never know what it's like to not have alcohol running through it. Yeah, that's blowing me away the fact that you said, like you know, your body is going to try to process the alcohol first. Well, that means, like my friends, if you are going through, like I've been on a weight loss journey for you know most of my life if you're trying to balance your hormones or you're trying to have a weight loss journey, you're trying to get healthier, like alcohol is going to slow everything else down, like it's going to take away from everything else that could be happening. And then the other part that I want to talk about too is there a difference, and I want to ask you this Is there a difference between, like you know, high-end alcohol versus, just like you know, everyday do-shmo alcohol that we're getting at the store? It's all alcohol. It's having the same effect on our system, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So you know people like to think that maybe it's like some other properties of the beer or wine that's doing that and maybe maybe the obviously there are some effects from, like low quality or, you know, conventionally pesticide sprayed stuff or whatever. But ethanol is ethanol, is ethanol, right? Ethanol is the same thing we put on our gas fuel, rocket fuel paint thinner. You know, it is like that chemical and that is what we are drinking. And you cannot drink 100% alcohol. You would go blind and you would throw up before it even like went down into your stomach. Like we are literally talking about a chemical poison, right? And so like that is, I think it's it's.
Speaker 2:And I tried this too because, like, as I got more mindful and more healthy, as I got older, I knew that I didn't like the effects of alcohol. So I was always trying to make these rules like okay, well, maybe you don't have an IPA, maybe there's something about IPAs that make you feel weird, you know, or maybe don't do this or don't do that, and it didn't matter, right? You know what I mean. It really didn't matter as long as you're drinking that, that ethanol. It is the same lot of really good topics as well, because it really does wreck havoc to on women's hormones. It really increases estrogen and lowers testosterone, which can make you more estrogen dominant but then also, you know, have like less of that sex drive and so many other things that testosterone is needed for. So it's very like horrible for hormones.
Speaker 2:A lot of hormone experts are already talking about this as well, because I think just the knowledge is coming out, because then you also mentioned, you know, how we think red wine is good for the heart, and so we have this kind of like thing from doctors oh, drink red wine. You know, back in my research and I, you know, follow the scientific like studies on this and all that kind of stuff there was one doctor back in the 90s who was trying to explain the French paradox and that is the idea that you know, french people eat a lot of fat and meat but they'd have lower heart disease than Americans. And he was like, oh, it must be the red wine, right? And so basically one doctor tricked an entire generation into thinking red wine is good for your heart and then they started finding these studies that proved it and correlated it. A lot of alcohol industries paid for those studies. So everyone was like red wine is so good for the heart, we're going to start drinking it every day at dinner. That's fine, that's normal.
Speaker 2:And all of a sudden, around 2016, we start getting these meta analysis studies that really take all of those studies and find, like, if there's flaws or what's going on. And they noticed that they were not like testing moderate drinkers against non drinkers. They were testing moderate drinkers against people who were sick, against people who had quit because they had been drinking like way, way, way too much and already had the health complications from that. So they started to, you know, take out these flawed studies and they found there is no correlative benefit with moderate drinking for the heart. It actually increases heart disease because it raises our blood pressure. It raises our heart rate. Our heart beats faster when we're drinking alcohol, but there's no related exercise to it, which means it's harder for the heart to pump oxygen to the body and over time, it makes it sag and tired. Over time it also raises cholesterol because of the inflammation that's involved as well. So it's like people who drink like they have higher risk of heart disease.
Speaker 2:And it's very interesting because there's studies around like how many people alcohol kills every year and they're now starting to recognize that it's not just alcohol related diseases that kill people. It's the cancers and the heart diseases that are related to alcohol that need to also be counted too. And I just think that's kind of insane that, like we as a society don't know, there are doctors and researchers right now who are petitioning to get cancer labels put on alcohol. Because for women, for example, two drinks a week and I'm sorry, but two drinks a week back when I was a drinker sounds pretty good, pretty minimal. Two drinks a week for a woman raises our breast cancer rate by 15%. I didn't know that. It raises our risk for all kinds of different cancers as well. Right, so it's just fascinating Once you kind of start peeling back the cultural kind of layers of, like you know, drinking's normal and having a glass of wine a day is good for you, which also then ruins your sleep, our sleep cycles.
Speaker 2:We were meant to have about five to six REM sleep cycles every night. Drinking just one glass of wine will reduce those to one to two cycles. So back when I drank I was so protective of my sleep I'd always try to get eight hours of sleep, but those eight hours were so low quality. I still woke up tired the next day.
Speaker 2:So the sense of energy you have when you remove alcohol, the sense of like passion and fire that comes out, this like more raw state you know before, this kind of drug that is affecting our body, is affecting our mind, it's really beautiful to witness. And I think that's what the point of this conversation is is to just allow people to see it as an experiment that allows you to tap into a certain feeling, a certain state, a certain energy that you maybe not experienced before. And it doesn't have to be about thinking like, oh, I have to quit drinking forever, but what if you try it and you actually like this so much better? What if the feelings, feelings of joy and and pure raw excitement and just like that energy you feel is so much better than a little 20 minute buzz that then you crash after? You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:I want to. I want to highlight something for the listeners, because you said something really important here. Um, it was one scientist that did a study that ended up being a flawed study, that where they were saying, like, oh, red wine is good for your heart. There was one scientist that said red wine is good for your heart, and then it went in that time. Let's call it viral, because essentially there was no viral then, but this would have been the news that went viral. And you also highlighted something else the alcohol industry picked up on this and then did their own quote unquote studies and paraded out experts that said, oh no, it's fine, we're all set. We did these studies, but the studies were flawed. The reason why I want to hone in on this is because I say this on a lot of episodes. Carolina, it's incredibly important to me. I want the listeners to hear this you have to look into this stuff yourself. You cannot trust when they say clinical studies have been done. You really have to look at it. And I say this from a perspective from somebody who participates in clinical studies for my professional daytime job, and I know that even in healthcare, clinical studies are incredibly flawed. They don't even include women or minorities in clinical studies. We really need to as a group here, and I want my listeners to be part of this movement. You have to advocate for yourself, you have to look into this. Just because it's out there doesn't necessarily mean that it's legitimate. There's always new information being released, so I want to just highlight that for a moment.
Speaker 1:Bringing it back to what you just said, when someone stops the alcohol Now, for us it was a health-related situation. My husband's stomach was going and I was obese and we were just trying to figure things out and get into a better space. So we stopped drinking, yeah, and we saw definitive shifts in ourselves. Our relationship got better, like how I was as a mother, as a professional, like things fell into place much more smoothly. Now I think it's been about, I want to say, like five or six years since we stopped.
Speaker 1:This past year was the first time where we were like, oh, you know what? Like let's, let's have, we can have a drink, like let's, do it. And I was like, well, I'll only do it if you'll do it. Like let's, let's have. Like we can have a drink, like let's, do it. And I was like, well, I'll only do it if you'll do it, and it was one of those back and forth things. So we finally decided to do it, like literally a couple weeks ago this is what I was. I was explaining this to Carolina when we were first chatting, so I'm going to tell the listeners about it. A couple weeks ago, we were like, yeah, let's do it. Like let's just have a drink. It was my husband's birthday. We're like, yeah, like we'll do it.
Speaker 1:I had two drinks and I think he had like two or three, and first one, like you said it kind it was. There was like a little I haven't drank in so long. There was a almost immediate buzz, but then there was definitely almost like a dip where I was like it felt off, but I was like with my family, I'm having a good time, like I'll go with the flow here, um, but it like slowed all my senses down. My usual like how I am very like I don't want to say energized at all times, but I'm always like I'm on top of things. I kind of like lost, lost my path a little bit.
Speaker 1:But the interesting thing that I had talked to Carolina about off off on this offline, was I didn't feel right for like a week, and neither did my husband. We fell off like we just didn't feel good, like physically week, and neither did my husband. We fell off like we just didn't feel good, like physically, mentally, like we just did not feel ourselves, and that's because of that second life. So when you give up alcohol, the doors that open up for you, you're talking about your mind and your, your body and your spirit, like what. What has that been like in your experience with your coaching?
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. And you know, I think we can start to like really hone in on the physical benefits. Those seem a little obvious once we kind of spell them out, but I think what people don't then grasp is like the emotional and then spiritual and soulful benefits as well. You know, I think something that's really beautiful that happens is that you go on a really big self discovery journey, because whether drinking is something that you do to fit in or drinking is something you do to regulate emotions, like there's so much growth that's going to come into reevaluating your relationship with alcohol. And what you know it kind of immediately happens to is that like, first of all, you know you're waking up feeling good, like it starts to build up your self love in the sense of like wow, like yesterday's version of me like looked out for me, like she, she ensured that I'd have a good sleep and wake up feeling well, and that starts to build self-esteem as well. Like you're not breaking your rules to yourself, right, like a lot of people who tried to drink moderately are always playing with some kind of rule book, right, you know what I mean. And sometimes those get broken and then you feel that disregard for your self-trust and your ability to be in integrity with yourself. So it's like you're showing up for yourself every single day and every single day is like a checkmark of like, oh, I've never gotten this long without drinking, right? It starts to breed this kind of self-confidence as well, like whoa, look at me, like I've never done something like this before. Like this is insane, something like this before, like this is insane. And I think that self-confidence starts to spill out into other areas, because if you never thought you could take this long a break from alcohol before, it's probably other areas in your life that you didn't think you could do something, and now you're starting to question that stuff.
Speaker 2:For example, I never thought I could be an entrepreneur, so I was really shy growing up. I'm really introverted, I'm very foreign. I was like the last person you would think of as an entrepreneur and I thought entrepreneurs were these like techie Silicon Valley schmoozers with angel investors type of people, right. So I never even allowed myself to explore that idea or that identity. And all of a sudden in my you know, break from alcohol, I'm like, wait, wait, why not? Why not me? Right, I started getting these ideas. I also started feeling like a sense of courage. Why not me, right? I started getting these ideas. I also started feeling like a sense of courage.
Speaker 2:I think going alcohol-free or taking an extended break from alcohol in a society that glamorizes alcohol so much will immediately build your courage muscle. Ordering a mocktail at a bar takes courage. Telling your friends you're not drinking that night takes courage. Standing up and saying, like you know, I feel so much better without alcohol no, thank you. Like that all takes a lot of courage, and that courage is the courage that you also need for the next big step in your life, the next big move that you make.
Speaker 2:I feel like, also, when people finally allow their emotions to really be there and be present through them, we start to learn from them instead of just numbing them and shoving them down. So I find a lot of women who are maybe dissatisfied with their career or not fulfilled in their job or not as fulfilled in other parts of their lives, and instead of drinking over it, which is so normalized, we start to ask ourselves like well, what do I really want, right? And we start using that gift of confidence and self-esteem and courage and the gratitude and the presence and all these incredible mental benefits that are coming from taking that break from alcohol into actually believing in this new reality and taking action steps towards it. Right, I've met so many people, so, so, so many people to go on this journey and go on to quit their job, or go on this journey and go on to launch the business of their dreams, or go on this journey and grow their business 10 times over because of all the new like sparks of you know, the intuition, the creativity goes a lot more up as well, which is insane to see. Like you, just you're on fire for life.
Speaker 2:And what's interesting, jenny, is that I actually don't care whether people drink or not. Like it's not about being a police or some kind of morality issue. It's not about the alcohol. At the end of the day, that's just the vehicle that, when you do go alcohol free, it's this incredible benefits that you're exploding in your life, and that fire and that passion is, I think, what really wakes people up to their deeper purpose in life. I don't want to just snooze through life and do the same thing over and over and over again. I really want to live, whether that's going after that dream or moving somewhere beautiful or traveling more. It's that sense of wow, like let's take this life and grasp it and really take it full forward.
Speaker 2:I find the spiritual benefits really beautiful too, where you're more connected with your own intuition, whether that's you know the voice from above or your own higher self, which is really beautiful and you're in, you trust it. More you take those leaps of faith, more I feel the relationships can get better as well, because you're so present and you know, even with, like a partner who maybe is still drinking, for example, let's say you stopped drinking and they continue drinking. It kind of also reevaluates how you guys bond together and now you have to like re-bond and kind of find quality time in different ways, which is very fascinating and interesting. You also learn to put have more boundaries and have, you know, stop people pleasing, especially if you're drinking socially and stuff like that. So in the just the growth sense, it will grow you into a new version of yourself and think about it.
Speaker 2:We were never meant to be the 20 year old versions of ourselves and that's probably when we picked up drinking, and so it becomes this outdated habit, this outdated pattern that is not serving the woman we want to become and there's so many movers and shakers up there in society that I look up to Tony Robbins, brene Brown, deepak Chopra, gabby Bernstein, so many others I can name they do not drink. And to me it's almost like the secret to success when you unleash so much fire and passion and Tony Robbins doesn't have time to drink. He's got so many lives he's meant to change in this lifetime. Right, and you start to see it as this pattern that people do when they want to be alive and awake and on purpose and successful in their lives.
Speaker 2:It stops being about this weakness, like oh, I can't drink because sometimes I overdo it. It starts being like actually, alcohol is a way to keep us very numb as a society and just stuck in the status quo and I know that can sound kind of crazy on the outset. But like you really fire up your sense of rebellion and independence and really start questioning what you want your life to mean in this lifetime and have your own personal choices. And I see it so much over and over again and that's why I'm so passionate about this. You know what I mean. And taking a break from alcohol is just the vehicle there. If there was a different vehicle there, I'd probably be promoting that, but I've just seen that happen so many times over and over again. It's so worth going on that journey.
Speaker 1:You said so many things that I've thought to myself I mean it's amazing to hear how passionate you are about this, because it is subduing us as a society. I want to hone in on that because as soon as you said it I'm like, oh my God, my husband and I talk about that quite a bit. We're like, you know, it feels almost like an intentional, like purpose that's being targeted at us for whatever reason that people have to do that. That is lowering our ability to really be living our authentic lives, and all the conversations that I've been having for this fall series have really almost surrounded around this idea that women I mean men are included in here too, but we're focused on the ladies. So, like women, we get this messaging that's like, especially as moms oh, mommy, wine club, oh, let's do, let's do girls wine night, you know, oh, oh, haha, my kids are driving me crazy, so I'm drinking all day long, like and it's become almost acceptable and expected of women to kind of lean into this wine trap. And then you're like, oh, I'm, I'm the only one who's not doing this, or I'm the anomaly, I'm not funny because I don't do this. The amount of connections I've made and the quality of the connections that I've made and the quality of people that I'm in touch with now and I know it's not solely because the alcohol is no longer present in my life, but that's an element of it and it allows you to take these bigger steps.
Speaker 1:All the people that you mentioned, that you felt like I follow, all these folks, like I am all in with them, because you're right like there is an element where one of the I call her my guru, but, like the woman that I was engaging with like two years ago, that really like was the person that helped me to shift my whole life. Um, she had encountered an issue with it. She's highly enlightened and she, you know, was starting to, during the pandemic, have a glass of wine every day, cause she was like feeling low in the afternoons. Well, this didn't help and then she noticed that it was becoming a pattern and a problem, so she gave it up altogether Cause she was this can't be it Like I have so much more to do, much like what you said about Tony Robbins, like there's so much more to do.
Speaker 1:I think a big barrier for people, especially women, because we have that people pleasing component is the whole social element of it Because, as you said, when you have to, when you are the person that's saying I don't drink and you have tell people that, oh, we actually don't drink alcohol, the response is always a little awkward. People don't seem to know what to say to that and everyone always asks us like we tell people, you know, we had a party here, um, at our house in the beginning of summer. It was like summer kickoff, but it was no alcohol, because we don't drink alcohol, and it was a kid's party. Um, all the parents kind of show up and and a few of them brought, brought cases with them and I graciously accepted. I was like where would you like me to put this, or would you like this? Like, do you want me to put it in ice? And they're like oh, no, it's for you. And I was like well, we don't, we actually don't drink, so I'll put it out for you if you like. And it was almost like this like, oh, you actually don't drink, so I'll put it out for you if you like. And it was almost like this like, oh, you don't.
Speaker 1:And it became kind of like this thing there's been instances when my husband and I have people come over, or if we're out we'll get mocktails or I'll get like water with lime and you know, because you can't tell what it is and it's not even for me, but it seems to make people feel more comfortable. They feel and I do it just kind of like all right, well, you know, keeping it even it doesn't bother me and I don't do it that much, it doesn't matter. But that social element, I think, is what deters a lot of people, because they're afraid that if I give up drinking, my friends all drink, like I'm gonna be by by myself, everyone's going to be having fun and I'm not having fun or they're. I'm going to lose my friends altogether, because you know we're not going to relate anymore and I think on that note and you're probably going to say it it's like, well then, are these people really meant to be in your life? So I'm sure that you have a lot on the social element of it too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you bring up so many good things and like it goes to the core of like who we are as humans, because, you know, belonging is very important to us. We would not have survived as hunter gatherers if we didn't belong to a tribe. It literally meant death if you were cast out right there. So we have made it to mean and this is completely a concept, right, it's not like a real thing, it's just a cultural concept right now in time that the belonging is found through drinking, camaraderie and fun, and let's all get together and have this shared ritual and none of us will question it and we'll all just do it and we'll all wake up feeling gross tomorrow. But whatever, right. And so it is like kind of gets to the core of like, well, what happens when I'm the odd one out? Right, like, what happens if? Will people reject me? Will people like be, you know, triggered by this? There's, these are really valid, valid points, right. And for some of us as well, I'm an introvert, so, like drinking was my way to confidence, drinking was my way to gregariousness and feeling more popular at like a party and stuff like that. So that's also a whole other core element that comes up, and so I think we have to recognize too that just around today, in 2024, about 30% of Americans do not drink, which has grown so much over the last few years because of this alcohol-free movement. The other 52% of Americans actually want to drink less or not at all. Right, they're secretly admitting to that, but they're not yet sometimes conscious enough of it to do anything about it. So when you go to that party, when you go to that shindig and everybody's drinking or asking you about it or all that kind of weird stuff, you have to rightfully assume that about at least half of these people here actually wish that they drank less or not at all. So what does that mean? You are no longer the odd one out. You are the role model, you are the leader, you are the one who's actually inspiring other people.
Speaker 2:Now, this can come off with different responses. Some people will genuinely be curious and like maybe they're thinking about it too and they just kind of want to ask questions of you, to kind of get at the root of it. Some people will be triggered. They're not yet emotionally mature enough to recognize that this is something they desire, so they're like backlashing against it. Wait, you don't drink. Do you have a problem? You know they get into that kind of thing. That is a huge red flag. It means you're talking to someone who has deep insecurities about their own drinking. And then there's the people who don't care. Right, it could matter less what you have in your glass.
Speaker 2:It's almost so silly to think, like if you go to a barbecue and you're vegetarian and everyone has like chicken wings and you get like the salad and the vegetables, like are people going to judge you and, like you know, just stare you down based on what you have on your plate? Yes, maybe in some places and cultures, but who cares? It's food on a plate, right? And sometimes we have to be so flippant about alcohol. Who cares what beverage is in my glass? It's not what makes us a friendship or actually has any meaning in life whatsoever when people are kind of judging you against that. So when you kind of step into that role, I think of being more thought, thinking of it as the inspire, the role model.
Speaker 2:I think what you find happens is those relationships over time get curious about it, like a lot of my friends have gone on to either take extended breaks from alcohol or go alcohol free and plus this like trajectory for me of like completely changing my identity from. You know, I used to work in a cubicle when I was drinking. Now I'm like a seven figure entrepreneur. You know people get inspired by also the life changes as a result too. So at first they're all questioning it and then a few years later they're like, oh, can you tell me about that? Because now I'm interested about it, right, and so holding that kind of space for that I think is important in your own kind of like courage and maturity to just like understand people's responses actually mean nothing about you whatsoever.
Speaker 2:But then also to recognize that, like when you are moving through things like that, you are giving permission for other people to question alcohol as well. Because I'll tell you, if I was at a party 10 years ago and I saw someone not drinking and having a good time, my brain would have been like, wait a minute, you're allowed to do that. Like I literally didn't even think it was allowed, right. And so I think we also are like really creating ripple effects by just showing up and being like, yes, I'm fun and I'm bubbly and I like to dance alcohol free, and like it kind of twists people up with their kind of preconceived notions of like, what fun has to look like. And I think it's fascinating as a society that you know notions of like, what fun has to look like.
Speaker 2:And I think it's fascinating as a society that you know we marry alcohol to fun, because when we were kids we did a lot of things right and they didn't involve alcohol. We climbed trees and we put on plays and we went rollerblading and rode bikes and went swimming. And as adults now we get so myopic that the only version of fun we have now has to revolve around alcohol. Like if I said the same thing about, oh, it has to involve cocaine or heroin. Like we would think that's sad, right? It's almost like you're missing out on the beauty of this world and all it has to offer by being so single-minded to do the same thing over and over and over again.
Speaker 2:We think drinking is interesting, but it's a very similar experience. Like you feel the same feelings, you do the same thing. You're sitting in a bar, you're sitting at a table, you're sitting on a couch, like you're not doing very much right. And I think what we do as adults then is like we expect this drink to make fireworks go off in our brain and that feels like fun instead of creating our fun, instead of actually being active agents in our fun. And I think sometimes when you ask someone like, what do you find fun, what brings you organic joy, most adults can't even answer that question. They're so out of touch with that.
Speaker 2:And so part of the exploration into removing alcohol from your life is actually to rediscover what brings me joy, what is fun for me, and that can even go into socializing as well. Maybe going to networking events with 200 people isn't your cup of tea. Maybe you love to have one-on-one conversations over coffee and can go really deep. A lot of my friendships went even deeper when I went alcohol-free, because it wasn't so surface level anymore. We really were able to talk about things that matter and you get to define what your social life looks like and those meaningful connections to you. If you want to go to bed at 9am because that feels more natural to you, then that's like what your body and your brain wants, right? So it's sometimes okay to be different than the expected kind of norms around you and I promise you like the alcohol-free movement.
Speaker 2:It's kind of what's happened, what happened to cigarettes, because all the studies are coming out now. There's so much growing in the alcohol-free beverage industry. There's so many books and leaders talking about sobriety. Gen Z is drinking less than everybody else before them. I think that it's really going to go the way. The cigarettes in the sense that, yes, people still smoke cigarettes these days, but it's kind of a fringe activity for the most part. It's not mainstream anymore and I can see alcohol going the same way. So it's like do you want to be at the front end of the bell curve as like the trendsetter and the one that, like, people look up to, or do you want to be the last straggler, right when everybody changes? And it's like oh, you're still drinking. You know what I mean. So it's like there's almost like a pride you can wear when you go to a party and you know you're going to wake up feeling fabulous tomorrow and everyone else is going to wake up a little like worse for wear and they're going to be jealous about you for it secretly.
Speaker 1:It's interesting because, as you're talking, I'm thinking through in your 20s or earlier in some people's cases, that they start drinking. Drinking alcohol has this glittery, glamorous, and social media is being glamorized to death. It's horrendous, this. And so you buy into this whole ideal of the whole thing. My husband, I had this conversation where we were talking about you know, yeah, like we understand. Like, yeah, you buy into it when you're younger. Let's hope not.
Speaker 1:You know we're trying to gear our kids a different way, but like we both bought into it pretty heavily when we were young and we felt very much like we had outgrown it, Like after gave it up and we saw, like we felt the benefits, we felt the change. We're like we're not going back, Like that's it, and we were not heavy, but we were daily drinkers. Like it was when I was cooking, I was either drinking wine or drinking beer, Like that's on a daily, that was a regular thing. And now, like he's reaching he's going to be he's in his late, very late forties, he's almost 50. And I just got into my forties and to us, like we've talked about this few instances where we've seen people out and they're same age range as us drinking quite heavily and it's not to judge the situation because everyone's on their own journey, but it it almost like shocked me a little bit to see it, because I'm like similar to like when you see people smoking cigarettes it's like we already know this is bad. Like why are you still doing it? Like it's literally bad, Like we know it's bad. And the same note with alcohol. We're like aren't you too old to be acting like this? Like shouldn't you like have let this go? Like you know again, like when you're young and you're buying into it and you think like this is the only way to go and everyone's doing it and I'm going to jump on this wagon. Like we understand getting lost at that point. But then it's like as you get older, like haven't you had that aha moment yet of like light bulb? Like oh, I don't need to go down this path, I can blaze my own trail here.
Speaker 1:And, as you said, like well, number one, I have to say I can't ever picture you as an introvert like at all. Like I know we don't know each other like super well, but I cannot, I just can't picture that because your energy is like on fire and I feel like it's because you have lit yourself up, you walked away from alcohol and you have really leaned into developing yourself and to blazing your own trail, and it has opened up so many doorways to you that you've left this introvert behind and become this like, flowery, beautiful, like being, like it's, just it's. It's tremendous to hear you describe yourself like. That was kind of shocking for me, because I can't even picture like. I picture you giving like speeches and being on a podium and I'm picturing you. You describe yourself like that was kind of shocking for me, because I can't even picture like. I picture you giving like speeches and being on a podium and I'm picturing you doing like keynote talks for people. Because this is so, this information is so critical.
Speaker 1:We're being fed this whole promotional marketing package which, by the way, a lot of what you talked about is marketing. The messaging is in our movies, it's in commercials, it's in television shows, it's in Netflix series, it's, you know, it's everywhere. It's in songs, Like it is everywhere. The message is always under there, Like, oh, alcohol equals fun, Alcohol equals a good time, you know, and people just associate like, oh, I'm going to go to the beach, Let me bring a case of beer with me and we can all hang out.
Speaker 1:It's like we all go to the beach and have a great time, but we don't. We don't have alcohol, we just hang out Like you can have fun without it, and you will have the fun and then also be able to still be you and continue on doing all these amazing things that you're doing. It's mind boggling to me that you know it. It didn't catch on sooner. I'm glad it's catching on now, though. That's wonderful to hear, like the Gen Z's like awesome, I'm an old millennial, like I'm an old, old millennial, so I'm very happy to hear about that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think you bring up a lot of really good points that, like we are marketed alcohol our whole lives, even before drinking age. We are seeing people doing it around us, it's in movies and TVs, and so what we do, I mean, I like to think of it this way Alcohol is nothing more than a fermented beverage in a glass right, and we as a society attach all this meaning to it. Alcohol is now equals relaxation, alcohol equals fun. Alcohol equals belonging. Alcohol equals glamour, sophistication, relaxation.
Speaker 2:You know, rebellion, even right, like when you're in your college years, you're like I'm rebelling, right, is it really that rebellious to do what everybody's doing? It's so funny and so like we put on all these beliefs. And so when I'm, when I'm helping people change their relationship with alcohol, like just removing the habit isn't going to serve them very long, like it's not this, just like white knuckled, like don't drink, kind of situation. It's really kind of unpacking all those beliefs we have about how alcohol serves us. Because if we don't believe alcohol brings us any benefits or comfort or any, like you know, makes us have a higher status in society because we know our wines or whatever you know what I mean we start to unpeel and unpack the illusion of alcohol and we find that it has nothing but those negative benefits. And then the illusions pop, the desires also pop. So it's not that you can't drink, it's you literally don't want to right, you don't want to, yeah.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and that's true freedom. That's true freedom because otherwise we're operating in this conditioned, totally programmed response. Nobody's born on this planet wanting to drink alcohol. Right, that was programmed into us and you can deprogram that as well. If you want to get like a start, I do recommend my book Euphoric Digit Alcohol Gain a Happier, more Confident you for that.
Speaker 2:We also have programs that go really deep into completely rewiring the subconscious mind from some of those beliefs, because it's so freeing when you remove all of them. And you know what's interesting is like, like you're saying, like the mark of the alcohol industry operates very similar to the way the cigarette industry does and that it targets young people on purpose, on purpose before our brains are fully formed, when we're insecure, when having a drink in college or whatnot is, you know, not only gets you that belonging, but also it's like you're fighting your own little insecurities back then You're not this grownup that can manage her emotions yet You're not someone who's like regulated in life yet and has like a career and stability right. They target young people for a reason and then they want you to have the habit for the rest of your life. Just like cigarette, smoking is right and it's ridiculous, like the way that the industry operates. They found some really shady practices in that, and so, again, it's not like to be all conspiracy theory or anything, but it's kind of just questioning these things, like you know, and just kind of asking yourselves that do the practices of society you know really fit me? I mean, there's some really crazy practices of medieval societies that used to happen, that were totally normal, right, that we now look at and are like that was wild. How did anyone buy into that? And so it's kind of just being the same thing.
Speaker 2:It's being someone who's willing to be a questioner, independent, and try things their own way, based on their own intuition, not even anything I say. Or you say like listen to your own intuition on this one right and try it out if it feels exciting to you, and start to kind of like unpack what alcohol means to you. And start to kind of like unpack what alcohol means to you. And I love what you said too about like confidence and you know me and introversion, because you know, when I used alcohol to become an extra at parties, I thought that it was giving me confidence. But not only did I embarrass myself sometimes, not only did I have those wine stains on my teeth and stuff. But you know, I also was telling my subconscious like a deeper, darker message it was Carolina. But you know, I also was telling my subconscious like a deeper, darker message it was Carolina you're not good enough, like you can't talk to people, you have nothing interesting to say, nobody wants to listen to you. But here, have this drink and then you'll be better, then you'll be the version of yourself you really want to be, and you know how much that actually erodes your esteem, like subconsciously, without even knowing it.
Speaker 2:And so when I did go alcohol free, yeah, I had to learn confidence. I had to learn that intrinsic, you know, comfortability in my skin away from alcohol. And obviously, like you said, the results are there and I've developed that and that has been something that no one can take away from me and it's built within me, not outside of me by using a flimsy little bandaid like alcohol that actually just robs your confidence and your esteem over time. So it's kind of almost this like question like who could you become, who are you really? What's your true potential without this like thing in your life? And it's a fascinating question. I remember I was in Japan. I never really thought to quit drinking. It was always this break that I considered right, and I think that makes it really low stakes in the sense that, like your, your rebellious part of your brain isn't like oh my.
Speaker 2:God, what are you doing? Let's not do this. It's just like, hey, chill out, we're just taking a break, right. And so I remember I was 70 days alcohol free in Japan and I had um booked this trip before I took this break from alcohol. So the first day I'd actually booked a like bar and food tour. So it came with alcohol and food. I was like, oh my gosh, what am I going to do? Right, like I didn't even decide yet at that point.
Speaker 2:And we go to the first bar and there's like a beer placed in front of me and I'm like, you know what I've been feeling the most? Awe, the most like wonder, appreciation, confidence, pure energy, just these incredible feelings manifesting in my life. And I know that the second I have that beer, all of those feelings are going to go away. And for what A beer. I've had like thousands of times in my life. I know what the beer tastes like, I know what it feels like, I know how I feel the next day. There's nothing special about it. But this other path, I don't know where that's going to lead. And you know, just to like have a little backstory.
Speaker 2:I worked in a cubicle. I used alcohol, as you know something to look forward to every weekend. I was not fulfilled with my career and going alcohol free has led me to find that deeper fulfillment. You know, do this, run a coaching business that I absolutely love. Become a bestselling author, speak on stages, travel the world, hosting retreats and actually finding fulfillment and helping people and being of service and finding that my dream lifestyle manifests through that as well. Like it's a night and day difference of who I used to be and I think that sense of like what's possible on this route that I had, that epiphany in Japan opened the doors blazingly to the biggest dreams, the biggest vision and a life full of true meaning and impact. Then, just sitting around a bar and drinking We've all done that, been there, done that. Maybe it's time to, like you said, move on and see what else life has to offer.
Speaker 1:I think that that was the most powerful thing that you I mean you said so much great stuff in this record, in this episode, but your example for yourself and how you got to where you're getting this is the result to listeners. Carolina is the end result of, and cannot end because she still has so much more to do, but this is what you're seeing after, like over time that she's given it up and really focused and fine tuned herself and her life and it's allowed, given her that space to be able to do that. If alcohol had remained present, she never gave it up. She might still be in the cubicle and, honestly, I never even really looked at it like that, like we gave it up for other reasons and then everything else kind of started flowing and I was like, well, this is all great, I get you know whatever, and I never. We have zero interest in like really picking alcohol back up. We have alcohol in our fridge right now and earlier this morning one of my girls was like what is that?
Speaker 1:Because they don't ever really see it and there's like some beers like sitting on the door and we're my husband goes. Oh, remember, like for my birthday, your big brother and your big sister were here and he explained it and she was like yeah, and we're. He was like that's for them, though, like that's, we don't do that. And she was like oh, all right, so we're you know it doesn't even draw like an interest. Like it's there and we're you know we can have it anytime, but it's just because you've come so far, because we've come so far, it's like no, I don't really want to go back down that path. Like it seems like a loss of life.
Speaker 1:Um, this is so incredibly important. Listeners, I'm gonna link all of carolina's links. I want you guys to check out the book too, because that book is amazing. Like I I have, I have mine, so I'm like I love buying the books. Um, I highly recommend looking into this, even if you like, even if you, like Carolina said like, take a baby step, do one week, do a week or two weeks and see how you feel removing it from the equation and what it does for you. I mean it could really just change the rest of your life. So I mean strong recommend to give it a shot. Yeah, absolutely, carolina. Thank you so much for joining the episode and for sharing everything with the listeners today. I greatly appreciate it and I know they appreciate it too.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much, Listeners. Thank you for being with us today and we'll see you on the next one. Take care.
