Personal Growth, Embracing Change, and Setting Realistic Goals

Remember those early morning starts at 5 am, juggling the chaos of motherhood and career while nurturing a fledgling podcast? I've brought back my co-conspirator from season one, Melissa, as we dive into the evolution of Steel Roses and celebrate the start of our third season. Our conversation flows from reminiscing about those early days to advocating for the power of setting realistic goals. Instead of overwhelming ourselves with grand resolutions, we suggest smaller, tangible commitments that prioritize self-care and regular check-ins with oneself.

As we navigate the intricate dance of personal growth, Melissa and I explore the influence it has on relationships and life decisions. We share our belief in the importance of surrounding ourselves with true friends who support our happiness, even if it means stepping away from those who do not. Melissa opens up about her transformative move from New Jersey to South Florida, challenging societal norms and finding courage in the process. We touch on the necessity of recognizing when certain situations no longer serve our growth, both personally and professionally.

Change can be daunting, yet embracing it can unlock remarkable possibilities. We discuss the emotional and biological hurdles women face when contemplating change and the tendency to remain in unfulfilling situations due to fear. By listening to our intuition, we can align our personal and professional lives. Sharing stories of overcoming imposter syndrome and making bold professional transitions, our episode highlights the power of community and support in championing each other's growth. This journey is about trusting your path and celebrating every step along the way.

Chapters

• 0:01 Women's Self-Reflection and Growth
• 12:06 Navigating Personal Growth and Relationships
• 18:35 Embracing Change and Personal Growth
• 24:24 Empowering Women Through Change and Intuition
• 30:08 Personal Growth and Professional Transition

Transcript

Jenny Benitez: 0:01

Hello everybody, this is Steel Roses podcast. This podcast was created for women, by women, to elevate women's voices. Welcome to season three of Steel Roses podcast 2025. Have been following along for this journey of the podcast developing. The fact that it's even at season three is like a huge deal, because female podcasters drop off quite frequently. So that's like a big deal in itself, but the fact that you're all still following along and you know giving input and really becoming engaged. A lot of listeners have become podcast guests. So quick plug if anybody's interested in being a guest and you've been following long please feel free to reach out to me on any of our platforms that are linked in the description, because I still have four slots remaining for the Winter Spring Series. So just a quick plug there. Now I do have a guest with me today and a little I want to say a little special introduction for this guest, because our guest today is Melissa, which, if you followed from the beginning, you know that Melissa was actually part of season one as my co-host.

Jenny Benitez: 1:19

So Melissa welcome back to the show. Well, thank you for having me. It feels like such a blast from the past and I was like gosh, remember when we were like doing this on a weekly basis? I I actually told you that I was like, oh, I kind of miss it.

Jenny Benitez: 1:37

So thank you for having me. I think the real remembering is when we used to get up at 5 am to do it and pod because we had no idea, so listeners is when we used to get up at 5 am to do it and Todd because we had no idea, so listeners like when we started, we literally were like we have no idea when we're going to fit this in. We both work full time, we both, you know, we both full time moms, wives and all that stuff. So it was like why are we doing this when our kids aren't going to be like in the mix?

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 2:08

And it was 5 am in the mix and it was 5am in the beginning, literally 5am and Mia, my daughter, was not in school yet and it was trying to find a time that worked for both of us. And then and then we were like, okay, maybe we should try like 10 o'clock at night, and then one of us would fall asleep and that's's you know.

Jenny Benitez: 2:25

it's funny because, like it started to get to a point where I was like I can't do nights because I would fall asleep, but then mornings were tough for melissa because her daughter would wake up because she was an early bird yeah, it's like prior to school.

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 2:39

Oh my gosh. She used to wake up at like quarter to seven and I was like, oh yeah, yep, I remember, I remember.

Jenny Benitez: 2:45

So, um, melissa and I were chatting this week and her schedule has calmed down a bit, so now she was like I'd like to really come back. Um and you know, it's interesting because even when she stepped away from recording, I would still be. She would be like oh hey, I have this idea for the podcast and we would still kind of collaborate. So, um, I'm excited to have her.

Jenny Benitez: 3:07

So for 2025, and not just just for 2025, but I know, like in January, people always get hung up on New Year's resolutions and I think I said it last year in January Resolutions pretty much are designed to fail because people bite off way more than they can chew, like right up front, and they're like I'm going to go to the gym for two hours every day and I'm really going to do this diet, and it's always like this big outlandish thing and that's actually part of the failure. Right Is like making these big commitments. So what I'd like to challenge the listeners to do is smaller commitments, smaller check-ins, and the way that I would like people to do that and I want to kind of bring a topic to the table here is checking in with yourself on where you currently are, what you're feeling about your job, your relationship, your friendships, your family, and really taking stock of what you're feeling about anything going on in your life. And the reason why this is really important and Melissa and I have talked about this and I've talked about this a bunch on the podcast is how you feel about a situation. Is your barometer for determining is this a good situation for me?

Jenny Benitez: 4:32

Now, the segue here, and where I'd like Melissa to weigh in is we were podcasting together the first year, I think, for like six months or so, like you were. You were up until September when, when you had to go back to teaching, and then we kind of hit a point in the process where I think we both started to recognize it was getting challenging and that it wasn't going to be, we weren't going to be able to maintain it moving forward. The tricky part about recognizing, recognizing that was when was it time to step away?

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 5:05

Yeah, yeah. And I think it's really interesting that you bring up New Year's resolutions, because this year I decided that I was not making any New Year's resolutions because, like you said, they always it's it's like they're designed to fail. So what I decided was that, for this year, the only thing that I was sort of stepping into 2025 with was the idea that I was going to shift my perspective and my approach to all things, whether it be health, whether it be marriage, whether it be with my child, whether it be for my job. I wanted to take a much more grounded approach and sort of segueing back into what you're saying about sort of reevaluating, because I think that some of us, especially women, you know, we have such a heavy mental load that taking it sounds ridiculous, but taking those 10 minutes to for self-reflection, it doesn't happen unless you make it happen. It doesn't happen unless you make it happen, and I think so part of that like taking a grounded approach to my life with everything is just like is part of what you're saying is just getting in touch with yourself and checking in with yourself, because we check in with everyone else, right? Our husbands, our children, my students that are in our team. You know, like everyone else gets a check-in, everyone else gets like a touch base, like, oh, how's it going, how's the week going? Like. And we don't do that for ourselves.

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 6:58

And I think if I had this perspective back when we started the podcast, it would I mean, I'm glad, I'm so glad that the the podcast has gone the way it's gone, but it would have been different because I would have been able to recognize, like I was like no cousin, like this is great, like no, we'll just keep going. And remember we were like resorting to recording in while I was driving. We were in the car, that's right. And eventually we got to the point like okay, wait, what are we doing? Like I had so many balls up in the air and like it took me a minute to be like wait, what are we doing?

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 7:42

Maybe this isn't the best thing for the podcast, maybe this isn't the best thing for me, right, like it was so much at that point and it was funny because we were literally just, you know, checking in with each other yesterday and I was like, you know, I was like Mia's in school full time, like my life is completely different, my perspective on 2025 is completely different, and so, yeah, I think it's really important, um, for women especially, just to be like to do, take those, take those like 20 minutes spread throughout the week and like, do a check-in with yourself and and and things that are no longer serving you, things that are no longer serving your family, like what are your, your top priorities?

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 8:35

And things that no longer serve, that don't have a place you know or don't have as prominent of a place, right, and it doesn't mean that look, look at what we're. And it doesn't mean that look, look at what we're doing. It doesn't mean that you can't come back around to things, but I think, recognizing that and and acknowledging that we can only spread ourselves so thin and I think you and I both have that, have had that issue in the past where we we just keep pushing and then and, but it's detrimental to to the big picture, right?

Jenny Benitez: 9:10

So you, you like, said like a lot. So I want to, like, I want and I want to and I want to draw some through lines there too. So the the gut checking you can, you should be doing that on a regular basis, and I've talked before on other episodes where I said like and I'll use my husband as an example. Right when I started dating my husband, he wasn't a fan favorite of my whole family and there was a lot of pushback. Remember, in that time I had just started to scratch the surface of feeling my own feelings and and really doing living my life how I wanted to live it. Because another problem that women encounter is we do a lot of should, I should do things a certain way, and we all have issues with codependency where we feel guilty about stuff. So we do things because I don't, I feel bad. Well, that's not really the reason to do things. You shouldn't be doing something because you feel guilted into it or obligated. You should be doing it because it sparks joy. So I know it sounds cheesy, don't like, put me like to the side for saying that, but like, legitimately like, are you happy with this? So when I was dating my husband, I got a lot of pushback across the board, and so I would, in my drives, think to myself like are you happy in this moment, when you lay down at the end of the day today, are you happy with what's going on in your life, are you happy with the path that you're taking? And every single time it came back like yes, jenny, you're okay, everyone else might not be happy with what you're doing, but you're happy. So you have to keep going and that's how I used it. That's ultimately like my very first time doing it was in relationship to my husband, and now look like 15 years later. So, honestly, like you have to go with your gut. Now. There's some times where you know you need people to check in with you, and there's times where you know you need people to check in with you and there's times where you know, if you don't really know yourself well enough to make calls, like it's good to have people as sounding boards, but you really should be the ultimate determining factor.

Jenny Benitez: 11:12

Now, in relation to the podcast and us, you know making the determination for Melissa to take a step back. At the time the podcast was lighting me up like fire and I could sense, you know, melissa was getting stretched super thin, and so there was also an element of making room and making it okay to say, like it's okay to step away from this, it's not going to be a negative impact on our relationship as cousins and as friends and, you know, ultimately, sisters, because that's where we're at at this point. But you know, like that's another fear there too is, when people are committed to something, the fear is, if I walk away from this, is this going to? Is this going to damage the relationship? Is this going to be a problem? You know, is there going to be a negative blowback? Is this going to be a problem? Is there going to be a negative blowback?

Jenny Benitez: 12:05

In some instances there are. When I started dating my husband, I lost people that were my friends at the time in my life. But to me it was more important to go this path because this, ultimately, has made me the happiest. So sometimes there is a loss of things when you make decisions to really live your life the way you want, the people that are meant to be in your life are going to stick with you through it. It's not going to matter, it's going to be a non-issue.

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 12:35

Exactly, I was just going to say that because people that care about you for the right reasons, that are genuinely supportive, that are are invested in you as a person, I think. I think they always want to want to do things to help feed your soul, right, like they're always going to do things in perspective of of okay, well, what is going to be best for you, right? And I think honestly, again, with this idea of checking in, sometimes you don't realize that you're surrounding yourself with people that don't have that approach to their friendships and don't have that approach to their relationships. So when you do make a change and you get blowback or you get pushback or there's negative consequences, at first it feels like you're doing something wrong, I think, at times. But then, if you take a minute, it's like okay, but wait, why? In the long run? Was that a quote unquote loss? Or was that a sort of a wake up call of like okay, wait, who am I surrounding myself?

Jenny Benitez: 14:11

with. Maybe that wasn't the right people to have in my life. Yeah, and what do they?

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 14:15

really want from me, you know Right.

Jenny Benitez: 14:17

Exactly. So there's that element and that component of it Now, and then, like 30s Jenny, and actually, now that we're talking about it, 40s Jenny. Like I mean, if you look at and that's okay, though, we're actually supposed to be doing that because really think about this If people start complaining around you like, oh, you're changing so much, you're changing yourself, well, you're supposed to, that's growth, right, exactly? If you're the same, if you're 40, and you're the same person you were in your 20s, I'm going to be honest with you. I'm going to sound like a jerk. You have a problem. Something should have happened in those ages, because you're going to grow up.

Jenny Benitez: 15:14

I was doing a meditation this morning that involved, you know, you meditate on sitting at a table and the different versions of you come to the table. So I had little Jenny, I had ridiculous 20 year old Jenny and then I had 30 year old new mom Jenny at the table, and in the meditation you're basically addressing each version of yourself to say, like you know, thank you for what you did. This is a safe space, we're all here together. And then you also think about what is 75 year old Jenny going to be like, which, by the way, was funny to think about. But those kinds of meditations are really impactful because each phase of your life, regardless of how hard some of these phases are, are serving a purpose to develop you into the person that you are going to become. And all the conversations that I've had with women who are in my age range. So, melissa, get ready. But like everyone who gets into their 40s gets to a place, a lot of these women of I finally feel like I'm home. I finally feel like I'm myself, because they've done the work to really recognize like this is, this is me, and I know what I want. I want here, or I know. Maybe you don't know what you want, but maybe you know how to recognize that when it shows up, because that's another thing too. So the podcast that walk away was an example I wanted to share.

Jenny Benitez: 16:33

Now, professionally, there's also instances of you need to recognize when you need to walk away from something. When you're in situations where you're, you know, knocking down different doors, need to walk away from something. When you're in situations where you're, you know, knocking down different doors, trying to blaze your own path, when do you know is the right time to step away from something and say, like you know what this really? As Melissa said, this is not serving me anymore. This is not serving the purpose that I had wanted it to serve. Melissa, did you always know and I actually want you to talk a little bit about when you knew about um moving and and that that set up there? Because for you, I know, being here and being with the family was really critical and really crucial, and it was very hard, I think, to make that determination that you were going to be like. I'm going to go do this for myself. I'm dusting the cobwebs off a little bit. How was that process for?

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 17:30

you the most difficult thing that by far that I've ever done, and it turned out to be for myself, personal growth, the hands down, 100%, the best thing I ever did about this. Not that long ago, I was like do you remember when, prior to applying to graduate schools, prior to moving down to South Florida, I was like I was ride or die. I am never leaving New Jersey, I am could never be away more. You know what I mean, mean, and, and, being in an Italian American family, that was the expectation. Nobody leaves, nobody gets out, you, you, you are raised here, you have babies here, you die here, like that. And it was the expectation that I set for myself.

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 18:35

What I didn't realize was that I was putting in boundaries into my life that were not allowing any sort of growth for me, because I was so focused on staying, on, not stepping outside, and I have trouble. I think, um, and I think you have the same thing. Like, I associate change instinctually, I think because of our childhoods like with something negative. That change or at least that's how I used to approach it back in my teens and my twenties I associated sort of change with negative. Something negative is happening Right, um, and I think, through this whole process, like I, I was just in a really negative place. Uh, I knew that my life had to change. I was not happy at the position I had. I had worked there for like four years. I had outgrown it. Like it became so routine that I could do it in my sleep and it wasn't challenging me or satisfying me anymore. And you know personally, there was things in my immediate family that there was a lot of change happening and I knew that I was resisting it. But I knew it's like you can only drag it out so long before you look at yourself in the mirror and it's like, okay, I need some changes. I was in the worst health of my life. Like you remember this.

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 20:11

I do remember that I was feeling my emotions Like it was just not and I was like, okay, something needs to change. And I remember my mother telling you know, we talk about it now. And my mother said I prayed so hard to God and she's not overly religious, but she was like it's all I had left. She was like I was praying to God that no. And she said I had this weird sense that I was like I, no matter where it takes her, allow her to grow and find her way.

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 20:46

Because I was, I was stuck, I was just stuck and at that time I was probably about 26,. You know, and I took this chance like the girl that never. And the funny thing is is that I applied to graduate programs, like for my PhD in New Jersey, and I desperately want and I got waitlisted, desperately want and I got waitlisted and I was doing everything like contacting faculty like no, I can make this work, I'll do like extra, like double time, like I was trying so hard and and I really think the universe was saying like you gotta go like you and like the funny thing is is the opportunity in um.

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 21:38

In Miami it was like full funding, like it was green lit, like everything like the perfect package and you're like no, I can't do that.

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 21:47

No, no, no. And I remember I stepped off that plane, I got onto that campus and I said I had the a surge of this is right and and I was like, oh no, I was like this feels right and I was terrified. I was terrified to leave, I was terrified to disappoint the family and I remember when I told the family, there was a few people that were just like what, how could you go?

Jenny Benitez: 22:20

I think it might have been one of the few that was like get the hell out of here. Yeah, you need to go.

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 22:26

You need to go girl, you can't stay here anymore. And the first two years, do you remember how adamant I'm coming back? I'm just going for three years I'm coming back. I have to tell you I used to crack up.

Jenny Benitez: 22:37

So at this point, while she was, while Melissa was going through this, I had already started to reach a point where I could recognize, like you know, melissa. We grew up together, like I was with her, since she was like a little tiny baby. So I already know Melissa's patterns and I knew she was terrified. I already know Melissa's patterns and I knew she was terrified and I knew that her way to deal with it was to say I'm coming back. And so she would always say this to me and do you know, even to this day like I'm still like, oh, it's not a hundred percent done, I might be coming.

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 23:11

How long have you been down there? How long have you been down there? 10 years, Thank you.

Jenny Benitez: 23:16

So when I was- 31.

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 23:18

I was seriously happy.

Jenny Benitez: 23:19

So it's. It was the funniest thing, because every time we talked I'm coming back, I'm two and a half years tops, and I was always like, yeah, sure, okay, yeah, we'll see you in two and a half years, go ahead, come back and and then like. And then she like really settled in, she's like, she's like on fire. And the other funny part about melissa and I want to address something that you said earlier, but the other funny part about melissa is, um, she's so humble with her accomplishments that you don't actually know how well she's doing. But her moving down to florida and her finding her place and her getting into alignment with what she's supposed to be doing moved along her path to the point where she is. She is a top person in her field and she's like. It's funny because she goes to me yeah, I know you're making she's making faces, by the way, right now people but it's also because women have a problem with saying good things about themselves guys, how long listeners, how long?

Jenny Benitez: 24:16

have you been listening and I still have a problem saying my podcast and it is my podcast, but I can't say it because it feels uncomfortable. We all have this problem. Melissa, very casually, would drop on me at random points like yeah, you know. So anyway, I was invited to talk as a keynote speaker anyway, blah, blah and I'm like what the hell?

Jenny Benitez: 24:34

you what like? That's a big deal, but she's very like you know. It's that thing about women feeling shame, about standing up and saying like I'm freaking amazing and I'm awesome at what I'm doing and I'm killing it. It's a problem we all have.

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 24:46

I want to um, wait, I just want to bring it full circle because that was a very long winded way of saying that. I think a lot of women have that same issue of pushing back on things that need to change and not knowing when to leave a situation and take a step forward into a new path. Because I think, again, it's that mental load, right, I was afraid that if I changed something and I was responsible for all those negative things, then we never. I think we have the tendency to not think about all the possibilities that exist. If you, when you close the door on a negative situation and something that is no longer serving you, what is actually out there waiting for you? And when I finally did that, it set in motion not only my own alignment but my husband has really succeeded.

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 25:51

He's done really well actually, and as a family, we were able to become what we were supposed to be, I think, and not in a cheesy way Like trust me, like I was just complaining to you like three days ago. I'm like, oh my God, my morning resentment Because I'm so Not in a good way, but in like a good way, but in like a solid, like a real way, a real way, a real way. So, anyway, that was a very long-winded way of saying like I think, as women, we always know in our gut when something, when we're supposed to leave something behind and start something in a new way, our fears, our responsibilities, all of these things it makes us afraid to take that jump and take that risk, but it's so worth it. So, if, if we bring anything into 2025, I really hope that as a community, that is what we can do for each other is to encourage each other to do that, you know there is um.

Jenny Benitez: 26:52

So that that's. That's a big deal. It really is. That whole recognizing and paying attention to your intuition was like. This feels a little bit like synchronicity because I have a fat. I have a lot of really wonderful guests that have recorded.

Jenny Benitez: 27:21

I pre-recorded for season three and I'm in love with so many of the episodes that I was having a really hard time selecting like the lineup, who's going first, because the first episode to kick off a season is very important to me. Um, which sounds a little silly because, like, the whole season is important, but I always feel like the first episode is setting the tone basically for like the rest of the episodes. And so when Melissa was like I'd really like to record with you, I was like I like jumped on it. I was like, oh, you want to do it tomorrow Because I. But it was that feeling. Now I've had feelings with guests when I record with them. Um, it doesn't happen 100% of the time, but there's a lot of instances where I start chatting with somebody and I tell them like I'm getting a really good vibe here, like let's stay in touch, like let's maintain a relationship and maintain contact outside of the podcast, and what's really cool is a lot of them. I've developed all these really great relationships now because I've had the opportunity to meet people. So you have to pay attention to your gut and check in with yourself. Like those are the two big things we want to say. Here is like checking in with yourself. Pay attention to how you're feeling, because that's your barometer.

Jenny Benitez: 28:26

Now, melissa mentioned that, due to some you know some things that we grew up with, that we associate change with negativity. Now there's actually a biologic reason for that, because your brain, as it grows and as it's developing it, gets used to setting up certain patterns and pathways. So this is where, like cortisol comes in too into the mix. Your brain gets used to you reacting and responding to things a certain way. So every day, day in and day out, same scenarios happen and the same responses happen. It's programmed in your brain and it becomes really comfortable. So for people that are in unfortunately, abusive relationships, for people who are really miserable at work, for people who are, just like you know, unhappily married or, you know, like, run the gamut, you get used to feeling a certain way and so your brain starts to adjust itself to say I'm supposed to be in this crappy position, or I'm supposed to be unhappy. This is just the way it is. I'm just gonna lay down and accept it, because when you try to change it it feels weird. The reason it's weird is because your brain has already determined this pattern. Now, knowing what you know, now when you do try to make a shift it is going to feel wrong, but that's only because you are reprogramming the wiring that's already in place and that probably has been in place for decades. So the goal here if you can just get over that little hump of resistance, the light on the other side of that hill is shining so damn bright that you will be shocked at what happens. You will just be shocked. And again, I'll use the podcast as an example.

Jenny Benitez: 30:08

I think I used to say to one of my podcast friends that, like, especially even after Melissa wasn't doing it anymore, it was just me One. It was like massive imposter syndrome. I was like what the hell am I doing here? Like who am I to sit here and have a podcast? Like what do I know? And then I would get these little moments of like people reaching out and saying I love it, please keep going, please keep going. So it would kind of you know, bolster me a little bit more. But sure enough, every once in a while I'd get this, this feeling of like what the hell am I doing here? And I told one of my podcast friends that I would literally record an episode, push it live, and then I would like run away from my computer as if that was going to do anything. I would like hide. I would close the computer and run and hide and I wouldn't look at, was scared that I was putting something out there that people were going to respond violently to or whatever. And if I had listened to that fear and if I had went with that and said you know what? I'm just going to give all this up, the lives that the podcast has touched, they wouldn't have been touched. I wouldn't have this fantastic community of women that I've been starting to build here.

Jenny Benitez: 31:16

The conversations that are happening. I mean even you know our grandmother. I was talking to her about the podcast yesterday. I mean to be able to, for us to even have this conversation openly together is so frigging huge. Because this wasn't a thing. Talking about any of our feelings, talking about what we're going through, talking about really pushing the envelope to find your own life that wasn't a thing. So this is huge to be able to step into that. So change might feel negative or it might feel uncomfortable, but you have to get over that hump. Now, melissa, we talked about, like, the move. We talked about the podcast transition. So, professionally, some of you for those of you who I'm connected to on LinkedIn you'll see that I'm transitioning in 2025 to a separate agency, to a new role.

Jenny Benitez: 32:07

Now, this doesn't, to me, say anything negative about where I've come from. Like, personally, this is just how I feel about it. It got to. You get to a certain point professionally where, when you're in a position you have to be the person to recognize is this still serving? Does this still make sense? Now, regardless of how much I love the work and how much I love the people, the clients and stuff, I knew in my soul it was no longer right.

Jenny Benitez: 32:36

But I was scared for a very long time to pull the trigger and I had people around me saying, like Jenny, you know, I think it's time. Like Jenny, you probably want to start. Like you want, you might want to look elsewhere. And I was scared to pull that trigger Because, when I was resigning, the person I was chatting with said to me. She was like, well, because it's almost like the devil you know versus the devil you don't know, and it's a very scary thing. But I will say this the moment that I pulled the veil back and said this just doesn't feel right anymore. It's just not in alignment. It doesn't feel right anymore.

Jenny Benitez: 33:13

As soon as I recognized that things started to fall into place, that got me immediately, like almost immediately, I got a text message within five days from somebody saying, hey, I recommended you for something. And I was like, oh, all right. And she was like I'll just go in and do the X, y and Z to get an interview. And then that started to come along and my vibrational energy started to rise up because I started to get excited about that. With that, I also started to cultivate personal clients for podcasting and doing live broadcasts, because this is something I do as well.

Jenny Benitez: 33:51

Freelance is supporting other people that want to produce podcasts or want to do recordings or want to do live feeds. I do that. That started to develop, want to do recordings or want to do live feeds, like I do. That. That started to develop. So it stopped, doors started opening the minute that I stopped trade and the minute that I recognized, like Jenny, you're not in alignment anymore. You're making people miserable and people you know once you're not in alignment, it doesn't matter what you do, you're not going to be, you're not putting your best foot forward anymore. So making that determination to say you know what, I know myself well enough to know this is no longer serving me, and if it's not serving me, it's probably not serving you. I need to leave because no one's going to win here.

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 34:32

And and the funny part was was that you had known in your gut for months that and I remember you, you were like no, and you were trying to really hard just like bring it back into alignment. And you were like no, like I was trying to force it so hard to work. And then and then, like I remember, we were talking one day and you're like, okay, this, this isn't going to work. We were talking one day and you're like, okay, this, this isn't gonna work. And and literally as soon as you did recognize that, I couldn't believe how quickly, yeah, everything else fell into place. You know it's.

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 35:10

And the same thing happened when I went with graduate school and and the move here. You know, like when you push back, you push back and then as soon as you, as you really recognize it and you really look at it and it's crazy how things fall right in and slotted right into place like right into place, and I'll even say this too, like even with me, you know, moving on to a new agency, um, I originally was like trying to press um as we record this.

Jenny Benitez: 35:43

This is going to air, I think, on the 12th, but we're recording it a couple days earlier and this week of january 6th um, I happen to have the whole week off and it's a gap. I've never had a gap before.

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 35:55

I was gonna say for the first time and I I think you're adult life.

Jenny Benitez: 35:59

You have like a week I've been in my industry. I have never had a gap. Every time I moved from one agency to another I would stop work on like a Friday and start working on a Monday, I've never had a gap before.

Jenny Benitez: 36:12

So it was interesting, because the way that this gap came about also wasn't really supposed to happen. I was actually supposed to start my new job on the 6th. I was the one who was like moving dates around, and then it just so happened that this week ended up being a week where I didn't have to do anything and we had a blizzard on Monday, and by blizzard I mean the school system overreacted and closed, so for two inches of snow or whatever it was. So the kids were home. So thank god it wasn't my first day of work, because holy crap, like that would have been about that until just now.

Jenny Benitez: 36:49

But if they had been home and I had to start my first day of work, that would have been bad. So there's that. One tuesday, um, I had the opportunity to go and catch up with one of my neighbors and like just have lunch and just be a person, like be a human person, which almost never happens for me because I'm like constantly running around. Melissa knows, because she does the same thing, she has a problem, she's working on it. Yesterday I got to visit our grandmother and spend almost the whole day with her just hanging out, which I was like the the best. That was like the highlight of my week.

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 37:23

I'm gonna be, honest, like literally and then, like today, all of these great things can happen if you just take.

Jenny Benitez: 37:33

You know, just take take that break where it starts, because if you're hearing this for the first time, a lot of people will hear these kinds of conversations and say this is BS, Like this is nonsense.

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 37:48

No, we were two of those people. Oh my God.

Jenny Benitez: 37:54

Part four. Part four People who hear these kinds of conversations be like that. That's, that's crap, like it's bs, it's nonsense, it doesn't make any sense. I have, and melissa, we have both experienced massive shifts in our lives because we started to tune in and because we started to really recognize when things weren't right or things needed to change. It starts with just a gut check.

Jenny Benitez: 38:19

If you're interested in really scaling your 2025 or really shifting something in your life in 2025, I strongly recommend meditation. It could take you five minutes to just start there. If you are nervous about doing that because you're like I can't sit in silence or my mind goes, because a lot of people think meditation equates to clearing your mind and having a blank, like slate in there. That's not actually what it is. It's just recognizing what's going on in your mind and you know like so there's methods to it. Guided meditations are out there. I'm a huge fan of Kathy Heller. She has a guided monthly meditation membership that's like 12. You can make it happen. People like just do it. If you really want 2025 to be the year. Don't do a ridiculous like new year's resolution.

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 39:11

Do something legitimate that's actually going to impact the rest of your life yeah, yeah, no, I think that that is so true Because, again, I used to eye roll and when people used to tell me things like this, I used to eye roll and be like, okay, but in real life I don't have time to do that. And and the truth is is that you'll never have time until you make it. You'll never have time until you and if you allow and it could be just like you're saying start out small, carve out a tiny five, ten minute space for yourself every day, and it's you'll be surprised to see how that unfolds. It's wild.

Jenny Benitez: 39:55

And if you're saying to yourself I'm a stay-at-home mom, I have my kids with me all the time, I'm never alone, I hear you and so does Melissa, because we do understand that struggle. Right before you take a shower, do it then. Yes, that was the only time I was alone when my kids were little was right before I was going to take a shower.

Melissa Schick-Bernardo: 40:14

Do it then, that's your time right as you're laying down to go to sleep. You know, like these little moments that you don't think of that. Usually I would spend racing, okay, like what am I gonna? What do I have to do tomorrow? Blah, blah, blah. Like just just take those. Like, yeah, three to five minutes. You know, as you're stepping into, the shower as you're going to sleep, as you're waking up, you know um it's. You'll be surprised that you can actually find it. Yeah, when it's priority you can.

Jenny Benitez: 40:44

You can do this, um. So a couple of things for season three um, we're I'm going to be bringing back um Wednesday VIP episodes, so you'll get some additional Jenny time on Wednesdays. Um, some of those are actually going to be lives, so there will be some live streams happening, which I'm pretty excited about. For live streams, you can follow me on LinkedIn and that's where you're going to be able to see me there. But we also have I also have a YouTube channel now, so you can also find Steel Roses on YouTube and videos and things are starting to post there as well. So, for every episode that you see on your all your podcast platforms, there's an episode on YouTube that you can check out there too. So, a lot of good things for 2025.

Jenny Benitez: 41:27

And the guest lineup is really incredible. A lot of really amazing authors. Everybody is just ready to show up and support each other, and that is basically what this is here for. This podcast is here for. This podcast is here for women's voices women's voices only. We're one of the I'm one of the few podcasts that do that, so I want you all to know I'm here for you for 2025. Melissa is going to be coming back in and popping back in and out as a guest, so it's going to be really exciting. I hope you all stick with me and again, there's still four slots left for the spring winter series. If you're interested to be a guest, just reach out. I'll get you started with intro calls and we can see what you want to talk about. Thank you all for joining us today and take care, we'll see you on the next one. See ya.