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Steel Roses Podcast
Steel Roses is a podcast created for women by women. Social pressures for women are constant. Professionals, stay at home moms, working moms, we are here to tell you that you are not alone! This podcasts primary focus is providing real honest content shedding light on the daily struggles of women while also elevating women's voices.
All women are experiencing similar pressures and hurdles, and yet, no one is talking out in the open. If these topics continue to only exist as whispered conversations then we further permeate a culture of judgement and shame.
Join Jenny weekly as she discusses topics that effect women in a relatable, honest way.
Steel Roses Podcast
*RELAUNCH* The Journey Beyond Restrictive Eating: Alexandria Morgans Shares Her Story
Alexandria Morgans, a certified personal trainer and nutritionist, shares her journey from professional ballet dancer to fitness coach after overcoming a three-year battle with an eating disorder. Her painful experience became the foundation for her coaching business focused on helping women heal their relationship with food and their bodies without restrictive dieting.
• Started ballet at 18 months old and pursued it professionally until realizing the industry's unhealthy expectations were damaging her health
• Developed an eating disorder when trying to fit the "ballet body" stereotype despite dancing 45 hours weekly
• Found her turning point through weightlifting when she couldn't lift 10 pounds despite being a professional dancer
• Created FitLex Coaching to help women overcome restrictive eating patterns and achieve sustainable results
• Emphasizes the importance of loving your body throughout the journey rather than hating yourself to your goal
• Discusses long-term health consequences of eating disorders including anemia and gastritis
• Introduces her "Fear Food Friday" approach where clients try one former fear food weekly
• Warns against fad diets that simply create calorie deficits by eliminating food groups
• Highlights how many diet studies don't include women, making their results less applicable to female bodies
Connect with Alexandria on Instagram or visit her website to learn more about her Mind Body Mastery program designed specifically for women recovering from restrictive eating patterns.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexandria-morgans-b22256262/
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Hi everybody, this is Steel Rose's podcast. This podcast has been created for women, by women, to elevate women's voices. I'm very excited to introduce our guest today, alexandria Morgans. She is a certified personal trainer and nutritionist who found her passion for health and fitness through her career as a professional ballet dancer. Unfortunately, in an industry that pushes unhealthy eating habits, she did succumb to the pressure and developed an eating disorder for three years. She overcame her eating disorder and found her passion in a career focused on health and fitness as an online coach. Alexandria, welcome to the show.
Speaker 2:Hi, thank you so much for having me having me.
Speaker 1:Um, I, I. At first I want to commend you because, uh, having personal experience overcoming an eating disorder, I do want to commend you for that, because that is no easy undertaking. Um, it is a lot of work and a lot of mental work. Um, on my end, it was a lot of mental work that I had to go through. Um, it's very difficult to beat that kind of thing. So I want to commend you on that first before I say anything else. So congratulations to you on that and for refocusing and rechanneling your energy. I'm thrilled that you did that. But I would love for you to introduce yourself to the listeners and tell them about your journey and how you came through and how you got to where you are today.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thank you so much for having me. And thank you, yeah, I hate having to relate to somebody who's had an eating disorder, because it's never a good thing. But yeah, I mean I was pretty much put in ballet as soon as I could walk. My parents like to say they just needed something to do with me because I was dancing around the house. So ballet seemed like the right choice and I started when I was 18 months old. I mean, ballet was everything to me. We are a military family and so ballet was kind of the only thing that was a good constant for me when everything was changing.
Speaker 2:And I think what really jump-started my whole eating disorder and that rabbit hole going down into was when I started getting into the more professional world. Because, to be completely honest, until I was a teenager I had no idea you could make a career out of ballet, didn't know that existed. And then I went to this performing art school in Virginia and I got there and I realized just how behind I was. At every single studio I'd been to before. It was always an activity for me to do and sounds like I'm bragging, I promise I'm not, but I was always considered at the top to do and sounds like I'm bragging. I promise I'm not. But I was always considered at the top of my class and then I got to this performing arts school and I was at the very bottom. I was placed in the lower classes and I was completely shocked because I'd never been exposed to a lot of people who were better than me and you know that pretty much just fed into me, going from 10 hours of dancing a week to 45. And I was around 13 or 14 when I started doing that and then, when that didn't seem to be getting me any more roles or things like that, it fell into. Well, I know I look a lot different than everybody else does in this room, so that must be the issue that's there.
Speaker 2:So that was a very long four-year journey. Took a long time to recover, because when you're in an industry that doesn't want to let you recover, it's really hard to change your mentality and get out of that, especially because I mean I jumped straight from the pre-professional world into two different companies and I lived in Virginia for another year after that with Charlottesville Ballet and they were a very like, inclusive company. I never felt any pressure from them. But when I went to the second professional company that I worked with in California. It was very much like they had the motto of being inclusive but they did not at all practice it.
Speaker 2:So the fact that I was someone coming in who now had allowed myself to heal partly I'm going to be completely honest, and I'd done that because I got into weightlifting it was three years into my eating disorder and my brother was kind of I mean, everyone was catching on. I thought I was pretty sneaky. No one knew, but even people I didn't know knew what was going on and he told me well, the best way to be happy with your body, or he was just trying he was two years younger than me, just trying to get me to stop like told me to get into weightlifting and when I started I was absolutely shocked because I couldn't lift so much as 10 pounds over my head oh, wow because I had guns.
Speaker 2:I was dancing 45 hours a week and not even eating enough that would what most would consider one meal. So that kind of pulled it pulled me out of it because it was. It's very shocking to see yourself and get to that point and have the physical evidence. And that was also the year that I started my very first fitness Instagram account to hold myself accountable for my recovery. So then I came to this company in California and I felt like I'd healed, but then I was kind of hitting the same roadblocks, like everyone in the room looked different than me. I was definitely the only one who did not have the stereotypical ballet body, and they may have had that motto of being inclusive, but they definitely did not practice it. And I heard my fair share of comments throughout my first year, and that was also the year that I started going to college full-time to be a dietician and specialize in eating disorder treatment. So it was the first time in my life where I took, like, the real steps to recovery, like not the ones that I took in the beginning, where it was let me heal but not heal in the way, where I gained the weight back, and that time around. I was like no, you know, I'm ready to heal, like I'm done with this.
Speaker 2:And you know that year went by and things were okay. Things were fine, honestly, and my second year at the company I went back into it, just not loving it anymore. I'd gone further into the fitness industry and I got my personal training certification. I started as a personal trainer at Gold's Gym and, honestly, the days were just brutal. I would go to work from 4 to 9 amam and then I would dance for eight hours and then I'd go back to work and then I would still have around six hours of schoolwork to complete every night. And you know, after two months of that I really had to sit down with myself and be like, okay, this cannot continue. Yeah, wow, I decided to retire and it was heartbreaking because I was so mad at myself for not realizing I hadn't been happy in a long time, probably since I entered the professional world, and so it really kind of put a sour taste in my mouth for my last performance, like my last hurrah to this career that was supposed to be a lifelong thing for me, because I didn't even enjoy it, because I was just so mad at myself for not realizing how unhappy I'd been for the past three years.
Speaker 2:And then, after I retired from dance, I spent a couple months at Gold's and once again realized that I wasn't happy. I was like you know. I'm not letting this happen again. I'm not letting myself stay in this situation. So from there, I quit gold, put in my two weeks and I started my company, fitlex Coaching, and I've been running on this platform of helping women overcome past restrictive eating. And we're not just focusing on body goals here, because, yes, I want to help women achieve their dream body, but I'm not going to do it in a way that's going to sacrifice your life, your mental state. I'm going to teach you how to love your body while chasing your dream one, because nothing that you hate doing in the process is going to be something that's sustainable. So right now, I'm really just focused on helping other women heal their relationship with food, their bodies and get out of the restrictive dieting mindset that ballet put me in for so long and wouldn't let me out of, you know you've said.
Speaker 1:You said a couple things that I want to touch on here. So one I think that it's wonderful that you took something. It's and it sounds like it was almost always there like this, like fitness, interest in fitness, you know, like it was basically like almost always present from from what it sounds like, from what you told us, and I think it's a fantastic that you have taken something, that you went down this path of you know the eating disorder and having to go through that, and now you've turned something that really can take a lot of us out and you know it's something that a lot of women can't ever escape, and you've been able to channel yourself and your energy into well, I've gone through this. I'm going to help other women really truly understand how to not, you know, obviously you want to be healthy, but to love who you are as you're doing it, because there is no this. This isn't meant to be like a shameful thing. We've gotten very society has twisted quite a bit the whole concept of women's health and even down to. I don't think I've shared I shared this story with you, but one of my little girls she was five and she was giving her a bath and she was looking at her stomach and she was pressing on her belly and I was like, oh honey, what are you doing?
Speaker 1:And she was like, oh, I'm fat. And I was like what? And like I was like, what are you talking about? And she was like my belly isn't flat like the other girls at school. And I had to pause for a minute because I'm like, okay, she's five, but I don't want, I don't want to disregard her feelings and be like no, no, no. So I was like, well, I was like, oh well, who are you talking about, you know? And I just kind of talked it through with her and then I just, you know, said like everyone's bodies are different, everybody looks different. I was like are you, are you healthy? And she was like yeah. I was like can you go jogging with Bobby? And she's like yeah, I'm like that's it. I'm like you're fine. Um, we've been, because of my struggles and because of what I went through, we're very, you know, specific with the kids about that kind of stuff. So we can, we can talk about like that in a minute.
Speaker 1:What I wanted to also talk about with you is um, I know you mentioned that you were mad that you didn't realize that you hadn't been happy in a really long time. And it's very interesting because I found myself in that scenario and it's almost like when you come out of it. It's like coming out of a haze and you're like what was what was I thinking this whole time? Like who am I, you know're like what was I thinking this whole time? Like who am I, you know? Like why didn't I see this sooner?
Speaker 1:And I want you to hear this too that's not just you, that's almost all women, because we have this very definitive should I should do something. So I'm gonna do it, regardless of whether I like it or not, and it sounds like you were doing a lot of shoulds. I should look like these other girls. I should be better than this. And I want you to hear that, because hear this that, like you, you were following the shoulds and not what you really wanted, and now you're following what you really want, so you're able to actually be happy for yourself because you're finding the passion that you have yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, my reasons for continuing when I didn't love it, like ballet instills in you this perfectionism, and I mean I always compared it especially to the end of being like a dog wanting a bone from its master. We would dance for eight hours a day. It didn't matter if we were bleeding. I danced through three injuries that could have ended my career and I just kept going because everything was worth it if I got a compliment from the teacher, if they even looked at me like anything was worth the smallest bit of recognition. And so my reasons for continuing were that I wanted to break the glass ceiling of ballet, because I feel like we've made a lot of improvements in acting and the arts and modeling, where weight inclusivity has gotten better, like we're not perfect, of course, but it's a lot better than it used to be. But ballet has never gotten there, and I thought that if someone was just willing to push for it, it would happen. And then part of me was also continuing, because it's a performing arts, you hear a lot more no's than you hear yes's. And part of me was continuing because I wanted to prove everybody wrong who told me I couldn't do it. And then I also wanted to prove the people who did believe in me right.
Speaker 2:I felt like I was letting people down if I didn't make it. I felt like I was letting everybody. I told I was going to be a professional ballet dancer. I thought I was letting them down if I didn't make it. I felt like I was letting everybody. I told I was going to be a professional ballet dancer. I thought it was letting them down if I didn't make it happen. Um, and that was the biggest struggle was just feeling like I'd let my family down, feeling like I'd let my friends down, like because my whole identity just came crashing down. It didn't matter if I wasn't happy. It was that like that's what I was supposed to be. For 19 years I was a ballet dancer and now I'm not anymore and that was a big.
Speaker 1:It was a big shift the weight lift though, the weight off your shoulders from carrying other people's like hopes for you must have been such a relief, because and I say this because not exact same scenario, but I think a lot of women will relate to again doing things because they don't want to disappoint someone else. I think this is categorically a female problem. This is categorically a female problem. I don't really know any guys that go through this and there's. So, I mean, I remember and this is a little it's different than what we're specifically talking about but even you know, when I was in my mid-20s, I remember when I started to change as a person and I was trying to better myself and do things better for myself and I started, you know, meditating, doing, and the reactions were so severe from people for just because I was trying to better myself, and it was like the most negative outpouring and I was like, oh, I was like what? I'm just trying to do things better. And then what? Eventually, alexandra, eventually, what happened?
Speaker 1:I started losing people in my life Because it was, it was almost like them showing their real face and I was like, well, if you want me to just stay put, because it makes you comfortable, like that's not okay either. I need to be able to be who I am and be happy with who I am and I'm, I'm. I'm happy you're in the beginnings of your journey for that and that you're starting down that path and it's going to. It's going to bring you so much more of a light into your life because you're doing something that you actually really are passionate about and you enjoy. So that alone is like a huge leap forward for you and you will see, like, in the next few years, if you maintain that focus which I think you will you will see a tremendous amount of growth because people will find you, people who are do you know what I'm saying Like and I know that sounds very like woo, woo, but the fact of the matter is like, when you're putting that energy out there and you're putting the energy out that you have this positive vibe and you really want to help people, and that's the energy you're putting on the table, they are that the people who need to hear you and the people who need to partner with you are going to come and find you.
Speaker 1:It's just going to start falling like dominoes and when that happens, that's it. Like you're, I mean, you're going to be off to the races. So and it will happen for you because you have this passion Now in the work that you've done thus far for your and even just in your studies in general for women who are looking to be healthier. I've always heard I mean, I've heard mixed things, but I want to ask you like diet versus exercise, I've always heard that start, it starts in the kitchen when you're trying to be healthier. Is that along the same lines as what you heard not heard, but what you know from your education?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it definitely starts with your diet. I don't love this phrase, but I think it does make a lot of sense. You can't out-train a bad diet.
Speaker 1:No, that's fair, that's right.
Speaker 2:You can work out all you want, but most like even if we're going further into like nutritional deficiencies, health efficiencies all of that comes from your diet. Pretty much everything health related comes from your diet, so starting there is going to be your best bet. I always suggest diet first and then exercise later, if it's, because it's really all overwhelming when you start at once, and I feel like I started with both and went down that really bad path, because I mean most people when they start they go from zero to 100 because they think that's what they have to do. Yeah, but even just those small changes to your diet can make such a difference.
Speaker 2:And one thing that I've learned a lot with college and my studies to be a dietitian is just how many, how many physical manifestations of nutritional deficiencies there are and like things that people think are normal are like actually a sign of what you're lacking in your nutrition. And then people think, well, supplements, I just need supplements. Like no, supplements are not there to replace your diet. You got to start with the nutrition and then you can add supplements if you're super deficient. But you can't out train a bad diet.
Speaker 1:I have two things there. One I'm actually kind of embarrassed to admit this. This was like, oh my gosh, like 13 or 14 years ago. It was when my husband and I first started dating. We were first living together, I wasn't working and I used to go to the gym every single day, and so I was about 27 ish when this was going on. Um, and I would walk like a mile and a half up to the gym. I would work out for like an hour and I would do cardio and weight lifting, and then I would walk a mile and a half back home and one would think that if I was doing that every single day, I would have been in peak physical condition. However, as we just discussed, diet will supersede what you're doing at the gym and I would come home and just eat crap and just junk and just snacks, and I wasn't mindful of what I was putting in my body because I really never had that kind of education. I had no idea any nutritional value of what I was doing and I think I was like heavily carbs and it's like you know. I was basically wasting all that time at the gym because I'm like what's the point? I was probably just keeping myself from going way, way out of control at that point.
Speaker 1:Flash forward to now, I'm still learning how to do this and how to really maintain myself and, as I think I had mentioned it a little bit earlier in our recording, a little bit of a slippery slope when, once you've had an eating disorder. It is a slippery slope because those habits are always kind of there. So the last I want to say, three or four months I had started doing intermittent fasting because I'm I'm turning 41. Tomorrow is my birthday. Wait, when this airs it'll be way past. But tomorrow, as we're recording this, today, is my birthday and so I'm turning 41. And you know, in your 40s it's harder for women to lose weight. And somebody had told me intermittent fasting, check it out. So I'm trying it out.
Speaker 1:And I started out really well and it was doing very good with eating nutritional food. And then somewhere over time that shifted and I was like, okay, I'm just gonna grab a protein bar or I'm just going to grab something quick, or I have these macro bars. And I was feeling, I think in the past five or six months, really fatigued, brain fog, just really crappy. I was having all these terrible symptoms. I said to, there was many times during the month where I'd be like I feel like I'm dragging a dead body around, eventually got myself to the doctor and turns out now I'm anemic because I haven't been feeding myself.
Speaker 1:So it's exactly what you were just saying, and I'm like oh, it starts back in the kitchen. So I've had to yet again do a reset and go back to okay, jenny, even though you're a vegetarian, we need to get you back in shape. So you're going to eat two eggs in the morning now and I'm like all right, eggs in the morning, yes, I can do this. I'm eating spinach at lunch yes, I can do it, and it's one of those things that it never truly stops. You have to focus on the healthy diet.
Speaker 2:Yeah, with my eating disorder I'm also anemic. I have not been able to build that back up, unfortunately, because as a woman, once you're anemic, you're pretty much anemic, You're just anemic.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because with our periods, every month there's no way to catch up, like I know, that's what was going on the week before. I was like it was terrible, alexandria. I was like a dead body, like you couldn't even move me no, so there's, there's no way to catch up.
Speaker 2:And then, um, you know, personally, with my nutrition, things got really complicated because it's very common for women, specifically with eating disorders, to come out of it and then have gastrointestinal issues, which I also have, yeah, so I wasn't even diagnosed until last summer because, well, as soon as doctors hear you had an eating disorder, like they pretty much don't care. I'm being honest, like I saw a lot of doctors. None of them cared and then the ones who did didn't believe my symptoms because I was too young to be having them was their excuse, like there's no way, you're 20 years old and you're having these issues.
Speaker 2:Um, yeah, same go ahead three years after my recovery and having this horrible pain like my stomach would swell up to the size of a balloon and nothing was working like. I tried gluten-free, dairy-free, um, no meat like, tried everything and then last summer I was diagnosed with severe gastritis. And because I was so severe with my eating disorder and then doctors weren't listening to me, it got to the point where my stomach was bleeding Like it was really bad. And now I have all these restrictions to my diet because I'm never going to be able to heal the gastritis because of the point it got it to.
Speaker 2:I'm always going to have these. The same thing with being anemic, like always going to be anemic. Once you get to that point because you just can't bounce back and because of the gastritis like I had to take, the biggest thing that was shocking was I had to go way down on my protein intake. Oh, interesting, yeah, Because protein is. Protein is one of the reasons why when you're on a fitness journey or just trying to be healthier is people tell you to bump up your protein because that is the hardest macronutrient for your body to digest, so it takes more energy, it takes more calories from your body to digest a gram of protein versus carbs.
Speaker 2:So because I have gastritis, I have delayed gastric emptying, which means it takes me probably twice as long as it takes a normal person to digest a meal. So with the amount of protein that I was taking in, it was taking me around eight to 10 hours to digest breakfast. Wow, so you were like warm hungry then? No, I wasn't hungry for another eight to 10 hours to digest breakfast. Wow, yeah. So you were like warm hungry then no, I wasn't hungry for another eight to 10 hours after breakfast. Oh gosh. So I mean now I can't have more than 90 grams of protein a day.
Speaker 2:And I did see, I did see some muscle loss because I was, I mean, last summer looking back like I was pretty jacked, yeah, and now like I have a lot more leaner muscle because I just can't have that kind of protein anymore Because I can't do what I was doing before.
Speaker 2:It caused me to have now low testosterone. Now I'm trying to build that back up. There's so many things that happen to you because of an eating disorder. In the moment, you don't think about the lifelong consequences that you're going to deal with. No, you really don't.
Speaker 1:It. Never. I didn't have it. I think I was only about a year of a full. I want to say it was about a full year, maybe 18 months, of going through it before I, oh, I was in a class. I was like what triggered me? I'm just trying to remember, I'm sorry, I was having a senior moment there.
Speaker 1:I was in a class and, um, I was a psych major originally before I switched to communications and I'm in a psychology class and this person gets up I think it was the professor, was like giving this talk and he said that women he was using he I don't know how, if he just went broad, but he was like women who have had abusive relationships, women who have eating disorders, and he named a third thing. He was like the likelihood of them being able to stop the cycle is like x percent and it was so low that it like shocked me, because I was sitting there in the moment in both of those scenarios abusive relationship and eating disorder and I was like I was like, oh man, like did he just? Did he say that? I remember like I wrote the stat down and I'm like sitting there looking at it and for me it was a pivotal moment of okay, this isn't going to beat me, I'm going to be the person who is in that margin that walks away from this and is okay. And within like a week, I think, I called a doctor myself. I got my own therapist. I started rolling. I brought my parents in. I was like look, I want you to know this is what I've been going through, this is what I'm going to do. I want you on board with it. And I kind of just started rolling with it because I was like I can't let this be the rest of my life.
Speaker 1:I was like I have so much more things to do and it was very difficult to get through and to break a lot of habits. Even to this day, there's, you know, habits that I have that I'm like it's almost like second nature and I have to catch myself and I'm like no, jenny, this is okay. Like you can, you can have this food. Like you're okay, like this is fine. And it's like self-talking myself every single day. I also I will say this because I have daughters I'm also very mindful of like I'm careful about how I talk about things and I'm careful we're very careful.
Speaker 1:My husband and I had this conversation when the kids were born. I have twin girls and twin girls and a little boy, and he knows my struggles with weight and he knows that I've been up and down and all over the place. When I was pregnant I was incredibly heavy and that like messed with me mentally and you know so because he watched me go through so much. I told him I was like I don't, I don't want the girls to have the same outlook. I don't want them to look at food and weight and everything the same way as me. So we all work out together as a family. Everybody works out.
Speaker 1:I make sure, even though I don't really want to, that they see me working out and they see mommy being healthy and that's really the line there. As we always tell them, it's about being healthy and it sounds like that's also your motto now at this point. This is about being healthy. This it sounds like that's that's like also like your motto now at this point like this is about being healthy. This is not about a particular look. This isn't about like, oh, I'm just trying to lose weight to get to this dress. Like this is a lifestyle.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what I'm really trying to get women to understand. And the hardest thing with restrictive eating is that I I was there I know exactly what you're feeling but, like some of them don't, they're not ready to recover yet. Yeah, they, they've reached the point where they want things to change. They don't want to be scared of food, they don't want to experience the guilt and anxiety and shame, but they're not really ready to take the steps to get out of it because they're not willing to accept the unknown of like oh well, am I going to gain on the weight back and then I have to lose it all again, like they're not ready for that.
Speaker 2:And that was my biggest hang up with my eating disorder, because I knew that there was no way I was going to recover without gaining everything I had lost.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So that's what I'm really trying to get across. Is that like it's scary, but you don't have to be stuck in this cycle for the rest of your life? Like you can get out of it? Yes, it's going to take work, it's going to take longer than you expect, but it's going to be a lot better for you in the end.
Speaker 1:So are there for you, and this is like a little pop quiz off the top of your head. For women who are looking for like nutrient dense foods that are like this is a great go to just for daily or even whatever every other day. Like this should be kind of a staple. Like just start eating it, because it's really going to give you a boost.
Speaker 2:Well, I would honestly say that varies from person to person.
Speaker 2:One thing that I have most women start doing is and I do this once a week too is I take my old fear foods or I also had a binge eating disorder. So I take my old binge foods and I do a fear food Friday and you know, I showed them like this is something I used to be terrified of. And now this is me, four years later, being able to eat it Like, please, don't take the four year path I had to take, let's do it the right way.
Speaker 2:But so one thing I've started doing with my clients is having them write a list of their fear foods and then they have to try one a week. Having them write a list of their fear foods and then they have to try one a week, I think that is the biggest way. Even if it's not nutrient dense, even if it's not even going to give you a boost physically, I think that's the best way to do it mentally is to start even if all they can stomach is a small bite, still going to give you a boost mentally to get yourself out of that situation.
Speaker 1:Right, because it's showing you you can eat this and you're going to be okay, like you don't have to be. And you know, I have to tell you, getting the anemic diagnosed, that kind of it kind of shocked me a little. Not shocked me, but it shook me and I was like damn, like I, you know. So now it's funny that you do that on Fridays, cause now on Saturdays I'm like all know. So now it's funny that you do that on Fridays, because now on Saturdays I'm like all right, jenny, you don't have to do the intermittent fasting every day. I've done my research better now and I'm like you can do this every Saturday. It could be like your day, like this weekend it's my birthday weekend. I'm like you know what, jenny, it's okay, you can have treats, you're okay, it's going to be fine.
Speaker 1:And I think that's where a lot of us go for the restrictive eating, because immediately in our heads we're told don't eat, you're going to lose weight. Even my husband, who's health and fitness all the way, I mean, this guy works out a couple hours a day. He loves it, he's in great shape, he's going to be 50. He looks like he's 35. It drives me crazy because I look 40. So you know, like, but even him, he was like we'll just eat less and I was like, yeah, but no, like that's not really how. That's not the best way to go about doing things. Like, just, you know, not eating isn't the way to go. Like, start cycling and healthier food options. Make your plate more, you know, vegetables and protein versus like carbs. That was the biggest.
Speaker 1:I think the biggest biggest thing for me was to start stepping away from carbs and not just like not all carbs, the white, starchy carbs. You know, like it was just taking those steps like that and being more mindful. Like, okay, did I eat any vegetables today? Like now I'm all about you know the dark, leafy greens, because I'm trying to, even though I know what we just talked about not ever really beating anemia. I'm like I'm gonna do what I can here. I think it's things like that that women want that quick drop. And realistically, it's like even if you don't eat for a week and you do, you know a crazy fad diet and you lose five pounds, you're going to gain that weight back the next week. Like it's not sustainable.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's the biggest thing I run into when I I'm talking to people is that like they don't understand why it didn't work. They're like right being so little like I don't understand why I'm not losing anything.
Speaker 1:I'm like, okay, well it's not your body storing it yeah, I'm like now.
Speaker 2:your metabolism is super low and damaged and it's going to be a longer process and you're going to hate this, but you're going to have to gain weight back and we're going to have to do it the right way and start all over again. And that was really painful for me too. I mean, I had to take myself through a lot of reverse diets to get myself back out of it and now I really run my platform on, like emphasizing that you can do all this. You can achieve your dream body without tracking your calories, because that was the biggest thing for me. Like, even when I was recovering, I wasn't willing to let go of tracking calories.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would have a full anxiety attack if I wasn't able to track it or if I wasn't able to plan a meal out. No one could cook my meals. I had to cook them because I couldn't tell what they were putting into it. So that's the biggest thing. I think tracking calories is a really. It can be either a really good tool for some people or it can be like one really bad slippery slope and you just don't stop falling.
Speaker 1:I don't track them at all, I don't do it at all anymore and agreed. I think we have the same mindset there. I will say my journey with weight has been so up and down and, as I just mentioned, like when I had my kids. I had my son in 2016. And then I got pregnant with my twins right away and they came in 2017. 2017 and then 2017. After I had them, 2018 into 2019.
Speaker 1:I was the heaviest I ever have been, ever and I was falling into all of the fad diet, every fad diet and probably every product over the counter that you could get your hands on. I would, would try it out and I went with. I even tried the. Yeah, I can say this. I even tried Weight Watchers and I was doing it with my sister -in-law where I was like, oh, let's do it together. You know she was heavy too and I'm like, let's do this. She was losing weight. I wasn't losing anything. Nothing I was doing was working. Now, in retrospect, I think I've heard Weight Watchers is a great tool to use and a lot of people have had great success. I think that because I wasn't really aware of the nutrient level and like what I was actually doing. I would be like, oh well, this is only one point, and I would gorge on the one point thing and then I wouldn't actually eat anything healthy for myself. So I continued, even in that moment, to still have that problem Only in 2019, it was the beginning of 2019.
Speaker 1:I want to say, like January, february, I started working with a nutritionist and it was incredibly eye-opening because she had me doing journaling, like food journaling, and I started looking at the list of things and I was like, oh my God, I'm eating really awfully, like this is really terrible. And so I was trying to eat healthier and I was really really proud of myself and I went into her and I was like, oh my God, I had the healthiest breakfast. You'll be so proud of me. And she was like, oh, what did you have? And I was like, oh, I had. I was like it was like oatmeal, a banana, and then it was like a third thing, but it was literally all carb, like it was. There was no, like it wasn't a variety of what I was really supposed to be doing.
Speaker 1:She was like well, listen, I'm glad you're eating better, but I want you to realize everything you ate was very starchy. And I was like what I thought it was healthy. She was like, technically, individually, they are, but if you combine them like that, and then that's what you're putting in your body like that's super starchy, that's not going to help you lose weight, and it was an incredible reeducation for me. So I do want to say that anyone listening that's you know having a similar struggle and saying to themselves like, oh, I've tried all these diets, like nothing works for me.
Speaker 1:You might not be doing exactly how it's supposed to be done. You may be over doing one portion of it versus another and working with somebody I mean, I'll say it like I worked with a nutritionist and that's how I was able to, to be able to get myself back into a normal like for me, state, and people like Alexandria are here that have this experience, that have the education that can help guide you through this, because it is not something easily done. You know you're flooded with all these Instagram images of things that you don't really understand or you know, or everything's Photoshopped and edited and this, and that you really do need to work with someone that is going to look out for your best interests and make sure that you're staying in like a good path, and that's where Alexandria comes in.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think the biggest thing with those diets and with Instagram is that, like, yes, all these new diets come out, all these new methods and this is my biggest pet peeve as a coach is seeing other coaches come up with names for their method and different, like just strategic ways of explaining it to make it sound like this brand new thing that's going to change your life. And it just boils down to a calorie deficit, like that's what it is. And I mean I'm going to admit like, did I name my process for women going through like restricted dieting? Yes, I did. It's called the mind body mastery, but I'm not sugarcoating it.
Speaker 2:I'm telling you right now it's a reverse diet. We're going to raise your calories. That's what it is. I just gave it a nice name because I want you to understand what it's going to do for you. It's going to allow you to master both your mind and your body. It's not a four to 11 method or whatever an influencer is calling it. I'm going to tell you what it actually does and what the actual name for it is, because even down to like the stupid diets like keto that weren't even built for weight loss, they were built for epileptic children.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and they're not built for women either. They're not sustainable for women. I just spoke to somebody else about that. Go ahead, keep going.
Speaker 2:But even that boils down to you're in a calorie deficit. They're just having you take out a whole food group to get into a calorie deficit. Like awful it's. So I I was keto or keto my entire eating I did the same thing.
Speaker 1:I was keto too girl.
Speaker 2:It started off as carb cycling. I did high, low and then they all turned low. I know it's technically 50, it's like 20 or 50 grams of carbs a day. That's all you can have. I was having two.
Speaker 1:I wasn't even keto, oh yeah, I was the same way. I think I was staying under 15, but most of the time I was under 10.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I wouldn't even have fruit, it was oh, me neither.
Speaker 1:It was so bad and now it's. It's crazy I would. So this uh, there's another person that's going to be in the same series as you and, um, she was telling me she was like you know, for especially for my age group, um, she's like we actually need carbs during certain parts of the month because of our cycle and that's like a lot of women like we actually need it, and the keto diet like, yes, it'll have, you know, quick effects. It's not good for women. This is just not something our body is going to really be good with. And that's something else I want to just mention too.
Speaker 1:Is that a lot of these, you know, quote unquote science based like diets or what have you like they're not actually built for us Because women are not part of and I think I might have said this on almost every episode, because it pisses me off so much but women are not part of clinical studies for the most part. So when they release study information and study design and say, hey, we did a study and x amount of people had success on this diet, those people were men. And I mean, like, most of the time we're not represented because our hormones are too unpredictable, so kind of just keep that in your mind and that's why, like, I do really strongly recommend, like, if you're listening this and you're, like I, have been struggling, I would really like to just have a touch point. Like people like Alexandria and I'm going to link all of Alexandria's information in the description she's a huge resource to you because she'll be able to help guide you. You know the struggle she's been through so she can recognize in you the same thing and the same through lines.
Speaker 1:I'm sitting here saying I've gone through the same things, alexandria, by the way, I I I mean I have come out, I think, mostly successful here. So I do want you to know, like I mean you can get all the way through and, like, continue on. And, for those of you listening, if you're in that struggle right now, look at Alexandria. I mean, she went through it to the umpteenth, especially in the industry which she was in and was able to get out. The other side, if you are in a scenario where you are you know, quote unquote restrictive dieting, or if you are having a sense that, like your, your body is just starting to shut down, which it will if you go, you go too far this is the time to act. You don't have to continue like that. Sorry, alexandra, go ahead.
Speaker 2:I get very passionate about those things. I get passionate about it too, and I would probably just say the same thing. Like, I feel like so many people are unwilling to work with somebody just because it. I mean, it's hard to open up to somebody about that, like about your struggles and everything. And I mean, even when I had a coach.
Speaker 2:I had a coach when I was going into my first season as a professional dancer and auditioning right after COVID died down and things were like back in person again and I had her strictly for the sense that I didn't want to fall back into my old patterns again and that's I completely lied to her our entire three month journey because I was so ashamed of what I was falling back into.
Speaker 2:And in the end, even though I didn't get out of it what I wanted originally, it kickstarted me getting out of it for myself, because I was like, wow, I've gotten to the point where I can't even tell, like my own coach, who I know was here to help me like I can't even tell her what's going on because I'm too ashamed of it. Like, and I still credit her to helping me out of my journey because she may not have known what was going on, but I still heard, I still listened to everything she said and when I was ready to, when it finally, you know, punched me in the face and was like what are you doing? It worked. And I feel like sometimes I especially I'm a very I was an aggressive trainer, I was the one that yelled at my clients in the gym and I'm a very straightforward coach Like I'm not going to sugarcoat it, but I feel like sometimes I am that punch in the face people need.
Speaker 1:Well, I was just going to. That's why I started laughing, because I feel like sometimes you need to be punched in the face. I mean not literally, but like sometimes you need it. I didn't know for a really long time that I had a problem, but I had a problem and I remember I went to a family it was like a holiday or something and I remember I walked into my cousin's house and I I think I'm five, nine and I think I was 115 pounds at that point and which women are listening, you all know that that's incredibly low for that height and I remember walking into the house and everyone kind of just turned and like was like house, and everyone kind of just turned and and like it was like.
Speaker 1:I saw the pause in everybody and, um, my cousin later told me that it completely freaked her out and she was like your head looked like it was too big for your body. She was like you looked like a bobblehead and I was like I was like I. I was like totally stunned. I was like what was like? Totally stunned. I was like what are you talking about? Like this is the you know. In my mind I was like oh, I look amazing.
Speaker 1:I didn't see it and it really took the punch in my face was there was a couple of them and you know one of them was that class where the professor said the thing I lost someone in my family. We had a death in the family. So there was like a few punches in my face right at once that I was like I need to stop. I have to stop. You might not be there yet, but it still is worth the discussion because the only way you really know, like Alexandria and I, you can't see our footage right now. This is gonna go audio first, but we're laughing at each other as we talk because I think we're seeing similarities in what the other person has gone through. But only someone who's gone through it can really understand this and how hard it is to really say like, okay, I'm done Because you're going to backpedal it's life. You can get through it and find a better path and sure, there's hiccups along the way, but you can do it.
Speaker 1:If I did it and alexandria did it, there are loads of women who are able to do it. You can do this. You don't have to be the statistic. That doesn't change. You can. You can make this change. Um, alexandria, do you? I know I keep soapboxing here, but I get really impassioned about this and I can't help it. Um, do you have any final thoughts? Would that you'd like to share with the audience?
Speaker 2:um, I think just that you know, I know how hard it can be to bring yourself out of a situation like this, and it feels really alone it does. It feels like you're isolating yourself from everyone, and I just want to promise you that there is a way out. It's not going to be easy, it's not going to be quick. You're going to have to unlearn, a lot more than you're going to have to learn, but there is a way out. And if you're thinking you have to do it alone, you definitely don't have to. There are people like me and my whole company, fitlife's coaching like, who are not willing to let you do it alone. So if you're willing to go get help and you want that help then I suggest you go find it.
Speaker 1:And listeners. I'm going to link Alexandra's information in the description here. I do strongly urge you to seek support if you're going down this path and even, honestly, if you're not in the path of an eating disorder, that if you're just looking for support and you're just trying to get healthy and you are seeing I mean Alexander mentioned it earlier but there's sometimes there's there's physical symptoms to poor nutrition and all you know, mine was like severe fatigue. Brain fog is actually a symptom of poor nutrition. So there's things that can be done to help you. So I do really encourage you all to reach out for support and again, I'm going to link everything in the description so you can take a look at Alexandra's web, like her information, her social. Just get connected and start reaching out, because this is really, it's really important. Thank you so much for coming on the show. I had a great time talking with you. Thank you so much for having me. This is a lot of fun, of course, listeners, thank you for hanging with us today and we will catch you.
