When I Finally Started Putting My Needs First, Everything Changed

We all reach breaking points that force us to reassess our priorities. Last summer, I learned this lesson the hard way when attempting to work from home while simultaneously caring for my three energetic children. By August, what started as a cost-saving measure had spiraled into a near-nervous breakdown that affected every aspect of my life—my job performance, my marriage, and most significantly, my mental health.

Fast forward to this summer, where I made the conscious decision to prioritize my sanity over savings by enrolling my children in camp. This choice—while financially significant—has been transformative for my wellbeing. For those listening who might not have the financial flexibility to make similar choices, my message is simple but crucial: the mistake I made during leaner times wasn't the inability to afford childcare, but rather my reluctance to ask for help or create even small moments of self-care.

The power of these small moments became abundantly clear recently when my husband encouraged me to enjoy our pool alone after the children were settled for the evening. This simple gesture—"just go back in the pool"—felt more meaningful than any grand romantic display because it actively prioritized my needs. Those few minutes of swimming laps not only refreshed my mind but provided unexpected relief for my chronic back pain. It's a powerful reminder that self-care doesn't require expensive solutions; even ten dedicated minutes can be transformative when we fully commit to honoring ourselves.

Whether you're struggling with work-life balance, caregiver fatigue, or simply feeling overwhelmed by daily responsibilities, I encourage you to find small ways to prioritize yourself. When we choose our sanity, everyone around us benefits. If you've found effective strategies for incorporating self-care into busy schedules, I'd love to hear about them! Share your thoughts using the feedback link in this episode's description.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to StillRosesPodcast
• 0:25 Last Summer's Breakdown
• 3:35 Choosing Sanity Over Savings
• 7:15 The Pool Moment
• 9:30 Finding Time For Yourself
• 11:45 Listener Feedback and Gratitude

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hello everyone. This is StillRosesPodcast. This podcast was created for Women, by Women, to elevate women's voices. Happy well Tuesday. By the time you all hear this, I hope everyone is enjoying July. I don't know if you all feel the same way, but I feel like I'm blinking and the summer is flying.

Speaker 1: 0:19

Last summer didn't feel that way. For those of you who've been with me for a while, you know the situation I was in last summer, but I'm just catch everyone up. So last summer I, we, we decided well, I guess it was really a me decision to test it out. But last summer I was predetermined to just have my kids home and while I worked from home and I thought, if I coordinated it just so and you know, had enough half days so that they would like, you know, kind of hang out while I worked in the morning and then I would be with them in the afternoons, like I thought I could just kind of navigate it. So that would be totally fine. If you're a mom and you're hearing me, you're probably laughing already at the naivety, the naivete that I had at thinking that I could somehow manage working from home while all three of my kids are home. My kids are incredibly active, constantly wanting to do something, always kind of jumping around, playing like just that's just how they are, which I love it. I really, really love it.

Speaker 1: 1:13

But last summer it was a massive challenge for me and it became so stressful. By August I was basically I was having a nervous breakdown. There's really no other way to say that. Besides, like it is what it was, the harsh reality was I was basically having a nervous breakdown. Now there was a combination of factors that contributed to that. You can actually hear it in some of my episodes from last summer. If you check out a mini-sode from last summer, you can hear me cracking. My sanity was going right out the window. So I got to August and it was just a disaster and I called my cousin, who was the former co host of the podcast, and was like remind me next year when I start being cheap and not wanting to pay for summer camp, remind me of this moment that I'm crying basically every day, just having a nervous breakdown from stress that not to do this again and to just put them in summer camp and just bite the bullet and call it a day. So this summer that's what I did.

Speaker 1: 2:08

Now, if you are looking for a little bit more detail around what exactly was so complex last summer. Yes, working from home, does you know? It has its ups and downs, but my, my job, a lot of it entails meetings with clients virtually, which is great, you know, because then I, because then I can juggle quite a bit more because of that. But it requires quiet and my clients are looking to me to present things to them, to talk them through things, to guide them, and it's very hard to do that when you have children running around. My kids took full advantage of the fact that I was on camera and I really couldn't scream or yell at them and I had to basically pretend like they weren't there. And my husband would come home from work and kitchen would be a disaster. There would be snacks everywhere, things everywhere, and I was on phone calls and I couldn't even get up to do anything about it. So, nevertheless, anyway, that's really what it was is I had deadlines for work, I had things I needed to get done and it just became a constant, constant battle of like just me trying to get through the day and then it was affecting my marriage. It of like just me trying to get through the day and then it was affecting my marriage. It was affecting me personally, affected me at my job, which I wasn't happy at already. So this just snowballed into making it all that much worse. So, again, put that in the past, it was an experience, won't do it again. So this summer I committed and was like camp. So in our town you pay a registration fee and then every day you pay for whatever the excursion is for the day, so you can opt out if it's too expensive. Last week I opted out of two of the days and, boy, let me tell you the reminder that it was that I need to just budget to make sure that I can make this a reality. Now that brings me to a point that I didn't realize I was going to make just now. But I am going to make it for you.

Speaker 1: 3:42

I have quite frequently recently opted for my sanity over saving. To be perfectly honest with you, I used to go the other route, be like, oh, I'll just save money, I'll do it myself, I'll do it myself. Now that's a luxury that I'm able to afford myself. After all of this time and these many, many years of struggling, I am able to make a choice here, and I always, always, choose my sanity. That's like a personal gift to myself that I'm able to do this Now on a smaller, less expensive scale. Yes, I have the great fortune to be able to do this right now, and as long as my husband doesn't decide he wants to retire early, I'll have the great fortune to do this for a little while longer.

Speaker 1: 4:20

But for those of you who are listening to this and saying like I can't afford that, I can't afford to just put my sanity first on me first, like it's all on me, it's all my shoulders. I hear you and I see you, and my vibrational energy feels you in my soul because I've been there too. So the mistakes that I made when I couldn't afford to put them in camp, the mistakes that I made when I didn't choose my sanity, was not asking for help and not raising my hand and saying you know what I actually could use? A sitter and I am going to leave the house. Never did it. I just couldn't do it. I could not bring myself to do it, and so I do really implore all of you if you are finding yourself where you are burned out and you are getting depressed and your anxiety is through the roof and you're snapping at your children, you're snapping at your husband. Don't go farther down that path. It's going to feel very odd and awkward, but if you choose your sanity, it benefits everybody.

Speaker 1: 5:15

Now I've been actually empowered through this podcast now that I'm saying it out loud, but empowered through all of you, and empowered because, personally, I always like to lead by example and there's a lot of times where I say things on here and then when I stop recording and I throw the episode out into the, to the world for other women to hear, in my mind I'm like you know, jenny, you just said all this advice to these women. You just drew a line in the sand and said this is the boundary we're setting here, but then you're not following through on your end. How could you do that? That's being a hypocrite. I'm not a hypocrite Like I'm going to. I'm going to show up and do what I'm saying. I'm going to be doing so to further that point.

Speaker 1: 5:50

Today, literally today. This is a free thing. You know I work all day. I have to run back and forth picking up the kids from camp and everything. I had work, you know, in the evening, so I hop back on. You know I'm very and my business ethics are there and I I've said it before love my new job, love my agency that I'm with, I love my clients. Like I, I would really go, I'd go the distance, I really would. But again, you know, I have my moments where I'm stressed out and I was upset over the weekend because, you know, mom stuff chores this, that that next thing and I was everyone's out having fun in the pool and I'm like damn.

Speaker 1: 6:21

And I said to my husband I'm like you know I went on a bit of a rant and I'm like, you know, every summer we have this pool open and we put all this money into the pool in our backyard and I get into the pool like less than 10 times, 100%, less than 10 times do I get into the pool. And I was like, and he was like, what are you talking about? Just get in. I'm like, yeah, okay, fine. And I was like yelling at him from the grill, which is actually even funnier. But I'm yelling at him and I'm going, hey, you all are in the pool and you all are enjoying your time, but if I go in there and enjoy my time, who's eating? What are you going to eat? You're all going to get out of the pool and you're going to be responsible to say like, oh, let me make sure everyone has food, even if it means I'm sacrificing time for myself to relax and have fun.

Speaker 1: 7:03

So I suppose that it made an impact on him, because today I got in the pool for a few minutes and I had to get out, you know, to get dinner going and whatever usual stuff. But I did. I made the choice and I pushed myself, even though it felt off to do it to get in the pool just for 10 minutes, just played around a little bit, got cooled off, whatever. And then, after I didn't change, everyone else went to go take showers and change and put pajamas on. We're pretty strict still during the summer. We keep our schedule pretty strict.

Speaker 1: 7:32

And so I was still in my bathing suit and my husband said to me he was like just go back in the pool. And I was like what are you talking about? And he goes just go back in the pool. He's like the kids are settled, everybody eats dinner. Like go back in the pool. And I kind of just stared at him for a second and was like should I go back in the pool? And he was like you should go back in the pool. He was like you deserve to be out there relaxing too.

Speaker 1: 7:50

Ladies and gents, if anyone's listening, I want everyone's be included here when I tell you we are not romantic people in this house. Like I'm just not a romantic person. He's not really romantic Like together. We're not a combined romantic couple. But in that moment I felt like that was such a romantic gesture and some of you are probably like rolling your eyes, like that's not romance, like that's just he should be. You know that should be letting you do anything. You do what you want. Yes, I get it. I under. I hear you girls, but my point is is that he pushed me to make myself a priority and that to me speaks volumes over bouquets of roses and dinners out and, you know, the sunshine and rainbows and frigging the big show is what I usually call it. I can do without the big show because this is so much more meaningful to me.

Speaker 1: 8:38

So I tried to sneak out the back door. My son followed me and he squirted me with a water gun for a few minutes while I was in the pool doing laps, and then my husband came out, kicked him back in the house said nope, leave mommy alone, she's taking time to herself, and I just did laps back and forth. I was only in for like 10 minutes. I really did not. I wasn't in there like relaxing and hanging out, but to be able to take that moment at the end of the day and just do some form of physical activity was a huge deal and I have to Google it to see, like if this is legitimate because I'm going to start doing it every day.

Speaker 1: 9:09

My back pain has been excruciating lately. I have a herniated disc in my lower back and I am always very mindful of it and I do things to take care of it because I don't want to end up disabled in any way. That pool, the laps in the pool I don't know if it was just the movement, I don't know what it was. I have to Google it again, like I said, but it was phenomenal. Like the impact on my back was phenomenal and actually feels so much better now. So this might be a regular thing, which my kids will be so upset.

Speaker 1: 9:35

But what are you going to do? So key takeaway if you can do it, it doesn't have to be something expensive. It doesn't have to be something, a lot of money. I'm sure there is somebody out there who is willing to help you, and if you are in a dire situation where you really don't have help and there is not a moment where you're going to be able to separate yourself from your kids or your situation, you don't have to physically separate yourself from a situation. What I would implore you to do is to take 10 minutes to do something for yourself. So it might be at the end of the day, when the kids are all in bed and you're alone and instead of folding laundry or instead of doing anything I know you're probably just beat up and exhausted and you just want to crash and veg out on social media and TV Take a few minutes. Light a candle if you're not allergic I happen to be allergic, so we don't have candles in our house, but you know, light a candle, do something just to put you in a space of when I look at this object, this is a me moment and I'm just taking a minute to be with me and myself and to honor yourself. Once you start building on that, the effect it's going to have is going to be tremendous.

Speaker 1: 10:41

I also want to take a minute to um, to acknowledge, uh, kathy Heller. You guys have heard me talk about her a few times on this podcast, and by a few I mean many, because I kind of accredit pretty much everything, everything good that has happened in my life. I I kind of have to, I have to give her credit. Right now she's running her abundant ever after. I don't know if it's pre-sale or sales, but she has courses running consistently abundant ever after was the one that I had signed up for. It is expensive, but the amount you get back, the return on that investment, is like a hundred times over what you would spend. I was very grateful that they actually have payment plans. You can set up a payment plan. That's what I did. I didn't have the money up front no frigging way did I have the money up front when I paid for this thing, but I just did a monthly payment plan and I sucked it up for a whole year and I paid it and I was all set. I just encourage you guys. I've talked a lot about the impact that working with Kathy had on my life and I really want to see all of you succeed. I'll leave you with that.

Speaker 1: 11:41

I hope you enjoyed the little mini-sode In the description of this episode. Please use use the I think it's text or something or reach out. There's a link there. You can send me feedback directly. Somebody recently sent me feedback about an interview that I did earlier that I aired earlier in the year, and I actually wanted to take a minute to call this person out because I am so grateful for the feedback that you provided. So there is no name attached to it. The only thing that I'm able to see is that the only thing I'm able to see is location. So, minnesota, I greatly appreciate you because you came in with very good, constructive criticism.

Speaker 1: 12:19

The episode that I had received feedback on was pertaining to, well, the woman. She's a widow. The woman was a widow and she lost her husband to suicide. I have no point of reference on this kind of situation and this kind of feeling and the um, the person who messaged you know she she maybe was a little bit frustrated with how I tried to relate some of what the guest was saying to other situations and she basically gave me some guidance and just said that you know, like, if you're hearing this kinds of stories, let the person go. Like let them talk, don't interrupt. Like just let them tell their story, and I had thought that I had, but you know what if it came off not like that? You know, I want to know that. I'd like to address that to make sure that I'm doing better for you guys and that I am letting the guests really speak and put themselves out there. So the original episode was Rush McCarney on finding light after losing a partner to suicide. It aired on April 20th 2025.

Speaker 1: 13:17

I can include a link in this episode so you guys can take a look if you want to, but I do really greatly appreciate Minnesota. Thank you so much for your feedback. Honestly, I really appreciate it. Minnesota Thank you so much for your feedback. Honestly, I really appreciate it. Minneapolis, minnesota. So thank you so much again for listening everybody. Please, please, please, feel free to reach out directly. The messages come right to me, but I can't respond to you, so I just want to say thank you so much for your feedback again. I hope you all enjoyed this episode and I will catch you on the next one. Take care.