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Steel Roses Podcast
Steel Roses is a podcast created for women by women. Social pressures for women are constant. Professionals, stay at home moms, working moms, we are here to tell you that you are not alone! This podcasts primary focus is providing real honest content shedding light on the daily struggles of women while also elevating women's voices.
All women are experiencing similar pressures and hurdles, and yet, no one is talking out in the open. If these topics continue to only exist as whispered conversations then we further permeate a culture of judgement and shame.
Join Jenny weekly as she discusses topics that effect women in a relatable, honest way.
Steel Roses Podcast
Mirror Moments: Do We Treat Parents As They Treated Us?
Ever found yourself obsessively focused on just one passion, unable to balance multiple loves in your life? You're not alone. In this heartfelt episode, I open up about my personal struggle with balancing my thriving agency career and my beloved podcast—a challenge that speaks to anyone who's ever felt torn between different callings.
My journey through what might be an "addictive personality" tendency reveals itself in patterns beyond work—from binge-reading book series to fixating on specific foods—before suddenly losing interest. This exploration of hyperfocus offers valuable insights for those who recognize similar patterns in their lives, while showcasing how I've finally found a more graceful balance by simplifying my approach to both passions.
The conversation takes a thought-provoking turn when I share a powerful observation: "How your kids treat you when they no longer need you to survive is exactly how they felt treated when they needed you to survive." This sparks a deeper examination of parent-child relationships and how childhood experiences shape our adult connections. Rather than dwelling in blame, I advocate for understanding that our parents did their best with the tools they had, while recognizing our power as adults to break cycles and create healthier relationships.
Looking for more Steel Rose content? Tune in this weekend for three live episodes featuring fascinating guests discussing infertility and other important topics. Catch them on LinkedIn or YouTube, Saturday morning with Erica Hoke, Saturday evening with Elizabeth Kipp, and Sunday with Rebecca Lyon. Have you experienced similar struggles balancing multiple passions? I'd love to hear your story and how you've navigated these challenges.
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Hello everybody, this is Steel Rose's podcast. This podcast is created for women, by women, to elevate women's voices. I hope everyone is having a fabulous week, in line with my usual MO of giving myself grace and honoring myself as I go through the week and just pivoting. Didn't record an episode for Monday, but I am hitting you for Tuesday and you know I did have to work late today, but I'm starting to get more of a handle on having multiple things in my life that are like I'm passionate about.
Speaker 1:I went into a bit of a rant with a former guest that we have that I have here, marisol Jean. So Marisol was on the podcast in the, I believe, the spring series and a really, really phenomenal woman in general, and she's written loads of books available on Amazon. I have purchased two full series from her book series thus far. I feel like I'm addicted to them. I love her books, but I really love her as an individual. So I was, you know, we email back and forth and I with a lot of my guests, I stay in touch with them, but she, you know she had reached out a few times and so I replied and I was kind of on a bit of a hiatus. I've told you guys that you know, earlier this year I had to take a really a break and figure myself out and then figure out how to work and make the podcast fit, and so any one of the things that I, when I was ranting with her about, is that I I've always been kind of challenged with having more than one thing in my life that I'm really passionate about or that I really get like obsessed about. I'm not really sure if it's like the addictive personality bit, like that I have, but I have this tendency to only be able to focus on like one major thing at a time, and I wanna break that down a little bit more because it's not coming out right exactly. I'm not saying it quite right, but essentially like, for example, I have my agency job that I very much love, but I have the podcast that I very much love.
Speaker 1:Now, prior to this year, I didn't love my job for various reasons and so I leaned really heavily into the podcast and I was throwing all of my energy into the podcast. So when I started this job my new job in January, I was struggling because I was really getting into this new job and really loving the atmosphere and loving the people and really getting into it. And it was a challenge for me, because I am not used to having two big things like that in my life that I'm passionate about. Normally it's just the one. And that applies to me for like a lot of things. Like I find myself getting like super addicted to you know particular food, or I'll get really addicted to, like, like I just said, marisol's book series, or I'll get really addicted, addicted to something, and for weeks I'll be obsessively doing this thing over and over again and then all of a sudden, the addiction will go away, and addiction is probably not quite the right word. If anybody is relating to what I'm talking about, I'd like to hear from you, because I'm still trying to figure out well, a, like why is this with me? Why is this a thing? And, b, if you have gone through this, like, what do you do? Do you? Are you just easing into it? Is this something that I should be addressing and thinking about? I don't know. So I'm just putting that out there, but anyway, branding her, because I was, you know, lacking that balance earlier this year and you know I seem to now be in a position where I am able to do both a little bit more gracefully. I've made the podcast into something a bit different, where I'm not breaking things down into series, I'm not overcomplicating anything, I'm just putting out episodes and putting out content. I'm hoping that you guys enjoy it. A little bit less complicated for me on my side and perhaps a little bit more content for you on your side. So you are now getting full guest episodes for me at the same time as mini-sodes, which I'm kind of into.
Speaker 1:This weekend I actually have two live feeds happening. One of them will be on Saturday morning and the other one will be on Saturday evening. So Saturday morning, 9.30 to 10.30 am Eastern, I'm going to be meeting with Erica Hoke. She is the author of a really, really amazing book series that discusses infertility. I'm very much looking forward to talking with her because this is such a stigmatized topic and women feel so. They feel so much onus as if this is a failure on them and I can't even begin to wrap my head around what they must be feeling. I can only speculate, but I'm really looking forward to talking with her and really honoring that discussion. Then I'm also talking with Elizabeth Kipp in the evening from 7 to 8 pm. So two live episodes coming out this weekend on Saturday, and then on Sunday there's a third. So on Sunday I'm meeting with Rebecca Lyon. So three episodes coming up this weekend that will go live. I'm going to post them on social tomorrow to just call attention to that series. That way people know what's coming this weekend. But, yes, tune in for that. You can watch it via LinkedIn or you can watch it on YouTube, on YouTube channel, and you can also catch the recordings on YouTube as well.
Speaker 1:Now, so anyway, on to a thought starter for today. So just a quick, a quick pivot to a full topic. So I'm looking through, obviously, pinterest always, and I saw two things that I flagged that I thought might be interesting. One of them was I was having a conversation with my grandfather when he said, unfortunately, what most parents don't understand is how your kids treat you when they no longer need you to survive is exactly how they felt treated when they needed you to survive. So, for example, now you no longer need your parents to survive and you felt neglected as a child, you are now neglecting your parent as an adult because you're reflecting, you're basically mirroring how they treated you.
Speaker 1:I took pause here. Well, first, it made me stop to think about my own kids and how I hope that the relationship will develop. My husband and my stepkids have phenomenal relationships with each other. It's adorable to me. I love it. I love how close they all are and me with them, because they're my family and it's a beautiful thing to observe. But then I think about you know, my relationship with my parents and I think about other people that I know in their relationships with their parents.
Speaker 1:And is there truth here? You know, is the reason that you know people lose touch with their parents or don't stay as connected with them is the reason because when you were growing up, you felt the connection was lacking or you felt didn't feel a scene. And I wonder if there's truth here. I wonder if there is some truth to the idea that eventually you will mimic this, you will treat them how they treated you or how you felt that you were being treated. I've seen examples both ways. I've seen also examples of, you know, adult children that you know treat their parents really horribly and like they owe them something. You know, so it runs the gamut. But I just want to put that thought out. There them something, you know, so it runs the gamut.
Speaker 1:But I just want to put that thought out there. Not that there's, and honestly not that there's anything we can do about it. Right, trauma is trauma and you know I am all about honoring it and you know, paying attention to it. But then also, moving on from it, you get to a certain point in your adulthood where, yes, you can recognize that your parents lacked somewhere, but at some point you're making the decision to continue behaving in a certain way. So if you're claiming well, I respond this way because when I was growing up, you know my parents didn't pay attention to me. Let me just use myself as an example here. I was a middle child. Very much stand on your own, jenny, like, and my parents did, they'll tell you like, jenny was always okay. Jenny just was able to do everything herself and she said she could do it herself. So we just let her, basically, which is fine.
Speaker 1:You know, I'm a 40 year old woman now, like, at this point in my life I'm not going to point fingers anymore. Yes, like, perhaps I, you know, yes, I wish that there was more for me Like, I wish that maybe I had felt more seen, or I wish that, you know more attention had been paid. I wish that the relationship now I have, that I have with my daughters I wish I had had that with my mother growing up. There's a lot of things you could wish for you could reflect to the day you die, and things that you don't think that you had, or things that were lacking. But what is that doing for you? In reality, nothing. Recognize yes, there was lack. Recognize your parents weren't perfect and they weren't perfect. They were doing for you the best that they could, to their ability, from what they knew when they grew up.
Speaker 1:You know, I talk sometimes about my relationship with my mother, whom I love dearly, but we're not close. We don't speak every single day of the week. I know women that talk don't speak every single day of the week. I know women that talk to their mothers every single day and they're super close with them. That's not my experience, but I don't blame my mother for that. When I'm an adult, the relationship is 50-50 now and if I want to be closer I need to make more of an effort. So there's that. But beyond that, my mother's mother was ill her whole life and it appears to me that there was a lot where she wasn't around because she was ill, you know, and because of that, my mom didn't get that kind of a relationship with her mother. So how would she know?
Speaker 1:You know, like you really have to take a step back here and give your parents some grace too, like they're responding a certain way because this is what they were taught. Now it's up to you on how you're going to respond to them, and you can do it gracefully and respectfully, or you can, you know, continue to whine and like complain about it and just make the situation worse. It really is up to you how you want to deal with it. No judgment. I complain like a pain in the ass sometimes. I sometimes have temper tantrums as a 40-year-old woman about how I wish things had been different. It is what it is.
Speaker 1:You just have to roll with this at this point, and if you really want to make a change, then you know what your opportunity is with your children, or with young adults that you have access to, or with anybody that you're making an impression on. If you don't have kids and you have your profession, guess what? You have an opportunity to make a difference in people's lives. Still Like your presence at your job as a leader. Not even as a leader, you don't have to be a boss. Your presence at your job can impact people's lives, places to teach all over the place, and we just don't recognize it as teaching opportunities for other people.
Speaker 1:So I want to leave you with that thought, not where I was planning to go today, but I thought you know what I'll go with the flow of my conversation in my head. So I want to hear from you on this. Let me know what your thoughts are. Tune in this weekend for the lives on Saturday and Sunday they're going to be really good and then they're all going to post on YouTube and onto podcast platforms everywhere. So I hope you're all having a great August. Summer is almost over in New Jersey, although it already kind of feels like fall because of Hurricane Erin. Thank you so much. Take care, and I will catch you on the next one.
