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Steel Roses Podcast
Steel Roses is a podcast created for women by women. Social pressures for women are constant. Professionals, stay at home moms, working moms, we are here to tell you that you are not alone! This podcasts primary focus is providing real honest content shedding light on the daily struggles of women while also elevating women's voices.
All women are experiencing similar pressures and hurdles, and yet, no one is talking out in the open. If these topics continue to only exist as whispered conversations then we further permeate a culture of judgement and shame.
Join Jenny weekly as she discusses topics that effect women in a relatable, honest way.
Steel Roses Podcast
Time Over Money: The Truth About What Kids Really Want
Have you ever found yourself caught in the cycle of trying to create perfect experiences for your children? That's exactly where I found myself with my "mom fun days" – carefully orchestrated activities that I believed would give my kids the childhood they deserved.
What started as a sweet tradition – sitting down with my children to create a summer bucket list – gradually revealed something deeper about my parenting approach. I noticed a pattern of consistently spending money on activities, toys, and experiences, believing this was the key to their happiness. It took my husband's gentle reminders and an overheard conversation between my confused children to help me see what was happening. When I simply pulled out an unused pottery wheel instead of taking them somewhere, they couldn't recognize it as a "fun day" because no money had been spent.
The moment brought to mind a quote that stopped me in my tracks: "Don't get so caught up in trying to give your kids a good life that you forgot to give them a good day." This perfectly captured my struggle – compensating for my own childhood experiences while potentially missing what my children truly needed. Against the backdrop of social media's "noise pollution" showcasing extravagant family activities, I'm learning that happiness doesn't come from the amount of money spent but from genuine connection. Whether it's meaningful conversations with my daughters about their interests or everyone piling into bed for a movie night, these simple moments of togetherness are what create the "good days" that ultimately build a good life.
If you're navigating similar parenting waters, I'd love to hear your experiences. How do you balance creating special moments without falling into the trap of equating quality time with spending money? Share your thoughts and join the conversation!
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This is Still Rose's podcast. This podcast was created for women, by women, to elevate women's voices. I hope you're all having a great week. Feels like fall in New Jersey, but I'm not complaining. Love the fall, love it.
Speaker 1:I'm a little bit sad about summer coming to a close. I feel like I got enough of it. To be honest with you, I did hand down, enjoy this summer much more than I did last summer, but it also felt like we were super busy the whole time and constantly doing stuff which I'm not a huge fan of. I think I've said that before on the podcast. I do not like being super busy all the time. I like to slow it down a little bit. I'm really very much looking forward to this weekend. We don't have any plans and I'm really like into that, super into it.
Speaker 1:On that note, I used to do this thing last summer when I was juggling a wild summer schedule with my kids that I called mom fun days. So these were the days that I didn't work during the week because I was, you know, watching the kids, because they were home for the summer On these days. What we did in the beginning of the summer is we made a whole list of activities. I sat with the kids and I quote unquote had a meeting with them and said what do we think would be really fun to do with mommy for the summer? Like, let's pick out a bunch of activities now and then during the summer when we have mom days, mom fun days, we'll take our list out and pick one of the activities. And it was like all over the place it was like Urban Air, which is the indoor like bounce place going to indoor play parks, going to the beach, going to the park, going on a picnic, doing arts and crafts. Like we literally just listed every single thing we all like to do together and then we would pick from the list. So that was a focus that we did and now we actually occasionally will say like, oh, let's do a mom fund day and we'll pick something to do together.
Speaker 1:Majority of the activities did focus around money and me having to put money out. So I've tried really hard to scale that back a bit, because I had a habit before very much of consistently blowing like a bunch of money on activities for the kids and gifts for the kids and toys for the kids. My husband has consistently said to me you don't need to do that. They're valuing just spending time with you. Like you got to stop doing that. So I tried really hard to get a handle on this. It sounds weird to say it out loud. I'm a little embarrassed that I'm admitting it as a problem, but it is. I have a little bit of a problem with it. So what have a little bit of a problem with it? Well, so what's gone on now is my kids are now used to this.
Speaker 1:So this year I didn't have to take days off as much because the kids were in camp and the agency that I currently work for is incredibly supportive, so I didn't have as much strain there with my job and my kids. So it wasn't as big of a deal. So I didn't have to schedule events and take them out places. They were doing activities with their camp, which cost money, but that's neither here nor there. So in August I have gap weeks and in those weeks I only took off half days, so that way in the mornings I could work and then the afternoons I would take off and be with my kids. That was only two days a week for two weeks.
Speaker 1:So it was funny because today was one of those days or, excuse me, yesterday was one of those days, excuse me, yesterday was one of those days. And what I did, instead of like taking them out or doing anything with them, I pulled out one of their Christmas gifts, which is a pottery wheel that they hadn't used yet, and I was like this is your activity today? Like this is it? And so they were like, oh, we'll try the pottery wheel. And I overheard them talking amongst themselves. I set them all up outside because it's super messy. I came inside, I was cooking dinner and cleaning the kitchen up and I overheard one of the kids say like oh, did you notice? Mom didn't take us out, like we didn't do mom fun day. And I heard one of the other ones say no, I think this is it. I think this is the mom fun day. They're like, oh, really confused about it.
Speaker 1:So it brings me a long way around to bring you to this quote that I saw on Pinterest that said don't get so caught up in trying to give your kids a good life that you forgot to give them a good day. Now I'm looking that more of like I get really caught up and I've talked about this before with. I want to throw everything at them. Let's do this. Let's go out, let's, you know, go shopping or? Oh, you need what do you need? Mommy's going to get it for you and I know I'm compensating for, you know, a lack that I had felt growing up, but there is not a need for it.
Speaker 1:Something that my husband has always tried to say to me, and trying to get me on board with, was you don't have to spend a ton of money for your kids to have a good time. You don't have to throw around a bunch of money, you know, to earn their happiness or whatnot, because, well one, it doesn't matter how much money you spend on your kids, they're going to end up fighting with each other and they're going to complain, period. It really doesn't matter what you're doing. I learned that the hard way on our vacation this year. The second thing is what they're most looking for, and what your children are most looking for, is just time with you. They just want to look for you, to pay attention to them.
Speaker 1:My daughters in particular have been showing a little bit more of a grown-up side of them. They've been wanting to gossip and hang out with me and talk about manicures and pedicures and stuff. I think some of my co-workers have rubbed off on them a little bit with those little spa activities, and so it's been very sweet and I've been very mindful that when they sit down next to me and they just start chattering away, I will put down what I'm doing and look at them directly in the face and let them talk with me and I respond to them and I always do that. I like to have full on conversations with them. I want to hear their interests. I will do whatever it is to stay related to my kids and close to my kids.
Speaker 1:But it's just something to really think about here, because the other thing is that you know, we have social media and basically noise pollution coming from everybody in the world showing. Look at this fabulous, extravagant thing with my family or with my kids. Look at this fabulous, extravagant thing that I've done for my kids. The reality of it is you don't need that. You really don't.
Speaker 1:Everything that we need to be happy is one going to come from us, within us, and it's going to come from just being directly in the moment and really feeling the moment and really honoring the moment. It's not going to come from the amount of money you spend. It's not going to be coming from. You know, all the travels and all the high-end things. While those things are wonderful and I'm all about it and, believe me, I will not shy away from those things the reality of it is sometimes the most fun that we have here is when we're all just together hanging out in the backyard.
Speaker 1:That's it. That's all we really need to have a good time is all of us together, hanging out together, doing something together. Sometimes it's just going to movies together, like you know, and sometimes it's not even that Again, sometimes it truly is just we all climb into our bed and watch a movie. That's it. So I want to leave you with that thought. It's something that I'm continuing to work on, so I just wanted to put it out there as like a thing the podcast channel, so you'll be able to catch them wherever. I greatly appreciate all of you. I hope you're all having a great August, as I said earlier, and I will catch you on the next one. Take care.
