How Your Dieting Habits Affect Your Kids: Body Image, Disordered Eating, and Breaking the Cycle

Your kids are always watching—and sometimes they reflect the habits, fears, and behaviors you are still trying to change in yourself.

In this episode, we have an honest conversation about parenting, restrictive dieting, body image, and the subtle ways children absorb our relationship with food. After my daughter begins getting emotional around meals—saying she is hungry but that food is “grossing her out”—I recognize language that could potentially signal a growing struggle with food, anxiety, or body image.

That moment forces me to examine my own history with disordered eating, restrictive diets, and intermittent fasting. We explore how dieting can become a slippery slope, particularly for people with a personal or family susceptibility to eating disorders, and why children learn as much from our routines as they do from our words.

I share why I decided to stop fasting and move away from punishing food rules in favor of consistent meals, balanced nutrition, and a calmer family environment around eating.

We also discuss strength training, metabolism, muscle loss, and healthy aging for women in their 40s. As I begin lifting weights to feel stronger and support my long-term health, I notice an unexpected benefit: my children begin viewing exercise as something positive, empowering, and worth doing—not as punishment for eating.

This episode is for parents who want to create a healthier family culture around food, movement, body image, and self-respect while breaking cycles they may have inherited themselves.

Subscribe to the podcast, share this episode with a parent who needs to hear it, and leave a review answering this question: What is one healthy habit you are intentionally modeling for your children?

Topics discussed: parenting and body image, children and eating disorders, signs of disordered eating, intermittent fasting risks, restrictive dieting, breaking generational cycles, healthy relationships with food, strength training for women over 40, metabolism and muscle health, and modeling healthy habits for children.

Transcript

Welcome And Why This Matters

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Everybody, this is Still Roses Podcast. This podcast was created for women by women to elevate women's voices. I had a particular topic idea that I wanted to discuss with you. And it's something that's been kind of brewing and I'm managing

Restarting Fitness And A Personal Shift

SPEAKER_00 0:12

in the background. So I think I already shared with, I think I might have shared it on prior episode that I had started working out again. Um, and it's made a really tremendous difference in a way that I wasn't expecting. And then I also made a change personally for myself that also had a direct impact that I actually want to explain a little bit further about. So this is my whole leading by example motto here, right? My husband and I feel very strongly that anything that we do, our kids are going to copy. So there have been times before where even if we didn't like something or we didn't want to do something a certain way, we did it anyway for the sake of the kids seeing us doing it and then copying it because it would be good for them to do. So it's that whole leading by example concept, right?

Red Flags Around Food At Home

SPEAKER_00 1:00

So most recently, um, an issue that started in my household was with one of my girls, one of my daughters. And I've noticed I had started to notice that she was getting kickier than usual with her food. And I was paying attention to it because of the way she was refusing to eat certain things and because of the way she was starting to respond to food. There were instances where she directly commented to me and said she was she would be getting very emotional and crying and telling me, you know, mommy, I don't know what's wrong with me. I know I have to eat something, I know I'm hungry, but the food is grossing me out. Now, for those of you who are listening that have had an eating disorder, that's one of those comments that if you have some semi-control over your eating disorder, it if you have any experience in it, that comment's gonna trigger. You're gonna hear that and be like, oh my gosh, like that that's that's actually a pretty distinct sign when you're developing an eating disorder that you start to get really disgusted by food. So there have been a few comments like that from her. There were a lot of instances where she just didn't want to eat and she was starting to get really self-conscious about things with her body. And so I had a lot of discussions with my husband about it because he doesn't really know about that part, that part of being a girl, that part of being a woman. It's not just women that go through this, but I know it from my perspective, so that's why I'm using that phrase. So he doesn't

My Eating Disorder History And Risk

SPEAKER_00 2:17

understand that part. Now, I'll full disclosure when from the time I was 21 to the time I was 24, I did struggle pretty seriously with an eating disorder. It started out with just dieting, and then it was a slippery slope into really just self-destructive behavior in my early 20s. From what I understand, and I didn't find this out until recently, um, eating disorders are hereditary. It's not the eating disorder specifically that's hereditary, but it's the susceptible behavior and that some certain people are susceptible to things like eating disorders versus other people not being as susceptible to eating disorders. And it's there, there's background in it. You should look it up. I do highly encourage you to look it up because it's actually quite significant. In your family line, you can actually see predictive behaviors, but you can course correct it if you yourself change the behavior, right? You're the stopgap, you could do this. So my daughter starts making comments and it's freaking me out. Now, while it's freaking me out, at the same time, while she was stuck, my daughter was starting to go down this path in the last few months. I was also getting really restrictive with my food and I was fasting. Now, you guys have heard me talk about intermittent fasting and how much I love it. I had started to do intermittent fasting pretty strictly because I gained weight last year. Now, I know my eating habits were a little after I went on vacation last year, it was like my my eating habits never came off of vacation and I stayed on diet hiatus for many months longer than I should have. And so I was trying to dig myself out of that hole. And for someone, again, who has struggled with eating disorders before, it is a very slippery slope because you can go pretty quickly from I'm on a diet because I'm trying to be healthy to I'm myself, I'm taking things out of myself and I'm punishing myself. It is very hard to break the habit. And, you know, so in that moment, I didn't really make the connection between my daughter starting to struggle and me already in the mode of I need to lose weight.

The Lifeline Moment And Stopping Restriction

SPEAKER_00 4:18

And I was really getting kind of, I was getting mean to myself about it. So I had this epiphany moment. Um I was, you know, at night my husband and I sit talk with each other. We just like shoot the breeze, like we just chit-chat every night. And he we're sitting there talking, and I forget how it came up, but he says to me, he turns and says to me, Well, he's like, you know, the kids, you're you're their lifeline. And I was like, What are you talking about? And he was like, You're their lifeline. Everything they do, it's from you. They look to you for everything. He was like, They're you're their safe space. You're the person they come to when they have a problem. He was like, They're not coming to me and talking to me. He's like, they come and talk to you. He was like, You're you're their person. And all of a sudden it clicked into place for me. And I was like, My God, my daughter's restricting her food, and I'm restricting my food. And so I I gave I I gave it some thought. And I said to my husband, like a couple days later, I was like, I'm actually, I'm gonna stop dieting altogether. I was like, I'm just gonna stop. And I said, I was like, we we're working out every like, let's just, we'll work out together every single day. And so that and so this is over the course of the past couple of months, by the way. This isn't like a recent thing. I've just I'm relaying the whole storyline to you. So about 30 days ago, I said, I'm not gonna diet anymore. I'm gonna eat healthy. I'm not gonna, you know, I'm not gonna be overindulgent, I'm gonna stay eating the way that I've been eating, but I'm just not gonna restrict anymore. I'm not fasting anymore. I'm just not gonna do it because it's having a negative effect on my daughter. So I flipped it and started working out instead. And now I'm just making sure I'm just eating regular, just like everybody else, but I'm eating healthy food that I like. Let me tell you, that was only 30 days ago. And within those 30 days, my daughter's attitude towards food completely changed. She knows she has not made any negative comments about food. She stopped being as picky. She's still a little bit picky, still a little bit of a pain in the butt, but not anything outside of the ordinary for a child. You know, like she's still finding her path, but we can still get her to eat food. And it's been critical, in my opinion, that she sees me eating food. So I'm making sure that I'm keeping, you know, healthy, healthy things in the house. Like I bought a whole package of salmon that I take out pieces as I need them to eat, and like I'll eat some of like I eat salmon. And I and a lot of the things that I've eat, you know, I can see I might point out to my daughter and say, Well, I'm eating this because of this. And I'll say, I'm eating this because it has omega and it has protein and it has this, and I'm drinking this protein shake. So that, you know, and and I have a lot of discussions with all my kids about that. And her eating habit has completely shifted, and it's not, I'm not getting the same red flags that I was getting before. So lead by example, you can change things. Even if it's something that is hereditary, of that nature, you can change it. You can make the shift yourself. You can decide, I don't want my children to go through this, and you can make the change. Now, for me, this happened here. I don't know what's gonna happen in the next 10 years. But what I do know is because now that I know that this is a hereditary thing, I'm gonna be extra mindful with my kids. I'm gonna make sure that they see the leading by example portion and that they see the healthy eating and the healthy, the healthy atmosphere in the house. I'm going to make sure they see that because I want them to be healthy, strong individuals. And this is leading by example.

Weight Training, Metabolism, And Kids Copying Us

SPEAKER_00 7:31

Now, the other part of this I've mentioned already was the working out, right? So I'm 30 days ago, I'm like, I'm gonna start weight training. I need to build muscle. I had lost, how much did I lose? 180 pounds. And so I'm flappy, but I don't have any muscle and I don't have any muscle tone, and I'm in my 40s. And when I was, by the way, when I was intermittent fasting, I was being really rigorous about it, and it was like painstakingly slow coming off. And again, I had another like click, click, click into place in my brain, and I was like, I think my metabolism is starting to slow down. I'm gonna have to build some muscle because this can't be. Like, I can't just accept what is. I need to do what I can to improve it. If I just accept what is, then I won't, then don't complain about it, right? But I'm not happy. So I am gonna do something about this to try to get myself to where I want to be. I wanna I wanna live to 100. I wanna be in great shape when my kids have kids. I want to be able to run around with my grandchildren and like do really cool, fun things with them. That's what I want to do. That's what I'm picturing. So this is what course correcting now. Now, interesting thing about the working out, be doing that has completely shifted my kids' energy in the house about exercising and working out. Before they saw it as more of a punishment, and now they now they just see it as something we all do. And my son specifically even noted, I think it was today or recently, I think it might have been today. Mommy inspired me to work out. And then like he left the room and my husband said, see. And I said to him, I was, you know what the the ironic thing is, I don't, I don't love working out. It's annoying because it's like you gotta make this effort, and I would much rather be sitting with a cup of coffee out in the sunshine and relaxing, but it's all good. I'm gonna work out because it's good for my kids. The ironic thing here is that like now I'm on the hook to continue to this and always work out because if I stop, then they're gonna stop and I don't want them to stop. So if I'm the fun, I I may not have stuck with it for me, we'll stick with it for them. And so thus, let's see where I am in a couple of months. I mean, I might be one of those like muscular muscle, muscular 40-year-olds at this point. Like, who knows? Who knows where I'll end up? But the positive impact has been tremendous.

Final Takeaway On Parenting By Example

SPEAKER_00 9:46

So I wanted to point that out. Leading by example with your children is critical. You can't, your words mean a lot, and how you communicate with them means a lot, but they are observing every single thing you do. And thus is the challenge of being a parent. But I'm here with you, right? And we're all in this together. So thank you so much for hanging out with me today. I greatly appreciate all of you, and I'll catch you on the next one. Take care.